Tidiness Spectrum

[LadyS]

I have a somewhat strange behavior trait that I wonder if anyone else can relate to:

When I enter someone else's home and it's super clean, clean lines, minimal clutter or stuff out (like a picture perfect home), I immediately get uncomfortable, nervous and depending on how well I know the person, even a tad paranoid.

I'm not sure why that is. I know minimalism is the thing right now and I'd assume having a super clean home is the ideal, but something about it makes me uneasy. My own home isn't super clean but it's not super cluttered either, just somewhere in the middle. It's been described to me as having a "homey" feel which I can't tell if it's a compliment or code for "messy" lol.

It might be my ADHD side that feels more comfortable around the chaos of clutter than nothing at all. Not sure. I just know I can relax when better in that kind of environment whereas I understand other people are super meticulous about cleanliness and can't relax until things are clean. I have several friends like that, so I'm pretty sure they have anxiety walking into my own home.

Where do you fall on the tidiness spectrum?

 

[Atrapa Almas]

On the married with kids part of the spectrum...

Tidinness is quite utopic rigth now.

 

[Gerontius]

Minimalist, modern decor with grey furniture, uncompromising barrenness throughout, an absence of color, smell, or even traces that human life is lived here, is pretty creepy. I'd rather be somewhere very human but a trifle down at the heel, than somewhere suspiciously perfect.

 

[Thinx]

I don't like the smells of many cleaning products, I hate it when they're sprayed around, ick! But I do like things to be adequately clean. Think my standards may be a tad low, though as I just often don't notice stuff much. This is good sometimes as I don't fuss if there's temporary clutter. Although I do get sad if it stays, but am so bad at being tidy.

I don't know how to be super tidy or uncluttered. Probably would need a lot more storage space to achieve that.

 

[LadyS]

On the married with kids part of the spectrum...

Tidinness is quite utopic rigth now.

See, this is where I am at too. However my friends all have kids as well and they keep it super clean and minimal. In some ways you wouldn't even know they had kids by how tidy they keep it. I don't know where they get the energy to maintain it (but it also helps I guess being married to someone who is also OCD whereas I have a super messy and hoarding husband and kids.

 

[Darkkin]

I admit to being a neat freak. Things are always clean and picked up, but our house is lived in. Blankets, books, plants, pets. Bright paint, colourful glass, and good wood.

Floors get swept daily. No dishes in the sink. Clear counters. No paper clutter. Laundry in the hampers. Shoes in the closet. Coats and bags put away. Beds made. Even Rue Dog picks his toys up every night.

Mess bothers me on an extreme level.

 

[Knower of nothing]

I love impossibly clean places and even minimalist decor and what not, but I would share a discomfort as visitor in fear of messing things up. When it feels the home is held to a high standard, I worry if I am too.
As a kid I once went to visit the rich kid's house and they had wide open spotless empty floors, a grand piano, a fireplace, a fancy chess set with decorated pieces, a marble staircase (wowza) and more.
My heart yearned to put on slip socks and slide over such an empty space, but it was too fancy and I became really self conscious. Good kid though.
What I wouldn't give to be allowed to explore and enjoy such spaces at my own leisure. Goes for airports, libraries and musuems too.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

When the house is clean to a decent level, its time to play and enjoy. I choose happynes over tidyness almost any day of the week.

 

[Gerontius]

When the house is clean to a decent level, its time to play and enjoy. I choose happynes over tidyness almost any day of the week.

Decent & clean, but still fun to live in. I think I like it.

 

[Gerontius]

I love impossibly clean places and even minimalist decor and what not, but I would share a discomfort as visitor in fear of messing things up. When it feels the home is held to a high standard, I worry if I am too.
As a kid I once went to visit the rich kid's house and they had wide open spotless empty floors, a grand piano, a fireplace, a fancy chess set with decorated pieces, a marble staircase (wowza) and more.
My heart yearned to put on slip socks and slide over such an empty space, but it was too fancy and I became really self conscious. Good kid though.
What I wouldn't give to be allowed to explore and enjoy such spaces at my own leisure. Goes for airports, libraries and musuems too.

That about exploring nice places is pretty fun. This is why I love to walk around in old towns, in historic churches and museums, why I cannot resist a college library or a hidden coffee shop or anything like that. Old public buildings were often built to the same standard--even the poorest of the poor could still say "this is my post office" or "here's our church" or "welcome to our community center."

We are missing spaces like that in our life nowadays.

 

[Judge]

Where do you fall on the tidiness spectrum?

On a scale of one to ten?

Probably around "47". - "OCD R US"

You asked....

 

[clg114]

We had five kids so our house looked "lived in". Clean, but a bit disorganised. Now days it looks the same. We get around with a cane or walker and our grandkids help with the house.

 

[WildCat]

On a scale of 0 to 10, I'd say a 5? That would be average I suppose.

When I do get tidy, that number can go up to about 7 or 8. I'm using 8 because I've already seen photos on this forum of what a well organized living space looks like, and that's not something I can pull off easily or much less maintain. I can go below 5 occasionally, and I used to, but now not that often.

 

[No Doz]

i find that keeping my home very clean and super organized helps to ease some of the difficulties i have around executive functioning and burnout. i'm also heavily routine dependent so keeping up on my household to-do list helps me feel like i'm maintaining momentum and makes it easier to tackle some of the day-to-day life necessities that i tend to struggle with, like food preparation and personal hygiene

thankfully, i'm naturally drawn towards minimalism in an aesthetic sense and not just a functional one

 

[Forest Cat]

Lately my home has been more like the doghouse on an oil rig. I'm outside most of the time and I use it to eat and sleep. So it gets a little messy and then I have a big clean up once in a while. But I'm usually tidy, it's just because it's summer and because I live alone. I used to be very tidy, maybe too tidy. But now I think a home should be lived in. It shouldn't look like the showroom in a furniture store.

 

[LadyS]

But now I think a home should be lived in. It shouldn't look like the showroom in a furniture store.

Yes this is how I feel too. Perhaps why I feel uncomfortable in those kinds of places. And as someone else has said, I'd be afraid to mess anything up with my clumsiness. Especially people who I know to have anxiety about tidiness.

This is why I love to walk around in old towns, in historic churches and museums, why I cannot resist a college library or a hidden coffee shop or anything like that

One of my favorite things to do as well!

 

[Stuttermabolur]

I grew up in two homes (switched every week). I suspect my mother has ADHD and I have a sister on that half who I am almost certain has it, so her place is almost always somewhere between disorganized and a mess. On my father's side, the place is generally tidy and very minimalist. Particularly after he got married.

Because of this, I feel pretty comfortable in places all through the tidyness spectrum. What does make me feel uncomfortable is when I am in very large houses which seem to cost a fortune (and are also generally tidy). I think it comes from being one of the poorer kids in my school since my parents were very young when I was born. I am better about it now than I used to be though. I found it completely suffocating and tried to find the most secluded corner I could to read by.

 

[Storm Hess]

I have a somewhat strange behavior trait that I wonder if anyone else can relate to:

When I enter someone else's home and it's super clean, clean lines, minimal clutter or stuff out (like a picture perfect home), I immediately get uncomfortable, nervous and depending on how well I know the person, even a tad paranoid.

I'm not sure why that is. I know minimalism is the thing right now and I'd assume having a super clean home is the ideal, but something about it makes me uneasy. My own home isn't super clean but it's not super cluttered either, just somewhere in the middle. It's been described to me as having a "homey" feel which I can't tell if it's a compliment or code for "messy" lol.

It might be my ADHD side that feels more comfortable around the chaos of clutter than nothing at all. Not sure. I just know I can relax when better in that kind of environment whereas I understand other people are super meticulous about cleanliness and can't relax until things are clean. I have several friends like that, so I'm pretty sure they have anxiety walking into my own home.

Where do you fall on the tidiness spectrum?

I get overwhelmed with mess and cluttered. I try to ignore it as much as possible, but sometimes I lose it and have a meltdown.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

My wife and I are somewhere in the middle with all of this. I tend to be the collector of things,...she tends to "purge" anything we don't need or use that often. We love clean, straight, art deco and Scandinavian inspired furniture design,...we pretty much avoid all the "puffy, overstuffed" furniture found in most US stores. No patterns,...and if there are patterns,...geometric. We like modern design, as well. My wife HATES clutter,...she donates and throws stuff out all the time. One tiny closet and one dresser for the both of us to share,...and that's fine. We just don't have "stuff" laying around, and if there is,...it's not there for long. There's little food in the house,...the refrigerator, freezer, cabinets,...at maximum 1/2 full,...but mostly empty. Little containers of this and that,...if she hasn't used it in a month or so,....it's gone. She's been extremely tolerant of my plant collection,...and I know it bothers her that they are in the house. She can't wait until we retire, build our net positive energy home,...with a greenhouse, so we can get rid of the plants in the house.

Whenever this topic comes up, I remember the off-grid cabin we rented on the Big Island of Hawaii a few years back. Very modern design, only about 25 x 25ft total,...a deck off the one side,...open concept,...but had everything we needed and didn't feel constrained at all,...a basic, but very functional design. We both were in agreement we could totally do something like this in our retirement.