Time.... Anyone weird about it?

[djn]

I am wondering if anyone struggles with time. For example, If I know I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I feel uneasy about the time I have before hand. Kind of like the day is ruined because I have to be somewhere later. I feel very protective of my time and bothered about even small amounts being taken up.

 

[Sass]

I'm exactly the same. I break the day up into time periods, and even if a certain activity only takes up a small portion of it, I can't do anything else in that time because in my mind it's taken. I'm also fanatical about being on time, to the point that I'm almost always stupidly early whenever I have to be somewhere.

 

[King_Oni]

I wouldn't say "struggle" but I do have a bit of love/hate relationship with time I guess.

Time tends to be the bookmark for me to remember what I was doing (though, so do dates). But I don't always want to remember what I was doing, why I was doing it and if others were involved in said activities for example.

Then, there's me who doesn't have a watch around, aside from my phone (which is usually all black with no clock as screensaver), and still I can guess what time it is and be at best 5 minutes off... so far that has been proven correct 9 out of 10 times. So my internal clock for sake of timekeeping is pretty spot on, yet I turned off all clocks because I drove me crazy at some point. The fact that I see a clock means that I can actively put a timestamp on my activities and it looks like I'm putting my day into a schedule... and if there's something I hate, it's schedules.

I rarely end up late somewhere and if I do, it's on purpose. School was the prime example; at some point I didn't care anymore and just showed up whenever I wanted only to tell the teacher "why don't you make up an excuse to why I was late". But appointments and meet ups with friends are always on time... and probably a bit before that. Most routes I walk from my house to places I frequent I already clocked on time so I know how long it would take me so it could fit right in with other plans (I know it's 11 minutes to the mall and it's 7 minutes to the grocery store for instance). Those things avoid me coming there late around closing time or being early at places often; so with that I pretty much arrive exactly on time.

If I have to be places later in the day, I do feel my day is ruined. Not sure if it's time related as much as it is just me having a hard time getting "in the zone" and then having to abort because... well, I have to be somewhere.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I am a slave to time. It runs my entire life and because of that I'm always ill at ease and never at peace. I have a clock in every room and a pendulum clock that chimes every 15 min so I'm ALWAYS aware of what time it is if I can't visually see the clock that's in the room that I'm presently in. When I'm away from home I wear a watch at all times and if I forget my watch I'm absolutely lost - so then I have to use my cell phone. If I have to get up early for an appt or something, I can't get sleep because I'm constantly watching the clock calculating how much time left that I have to get sleep so then I end up not getting any sleep. It's so bad that I have a clock in my bedroom that's battery operated and I had to take the battery out so I would stop looking at it all night (my sister in law said that at least it has the correct time twice a day.) I need my alarm clock in my bedroom just in case I oversleep (which almost never happens), but I have had to turn it totally around so I can't see it in order to get some rest - I tried just putting something in front of it, but I still would move in bed trying to catch a glimpse of the time around whatever object I had put in front of the clock. I hate living like this, but I don't know how else to live. I don't like saying it, but my name is Angie and I'm a "timeaholic."

 

[Berianireth]

I'm always making very bad estimates about it. I usually end up in places early, but I'm stressed to the max by the time I get there.

 

[Peace]

Yes, I am the same. Like Sass, I used to be ridiculously early, but now my time before hand is just ruined. I DO NOT wear a watch, and I never promise anyone a time commitment. The thing that stresses me the most is when someone is waiting for me, especially if I am late, which I ALWAYS am. I swear I will be late to my own funeral.
The worst job I ever had was when I worked second shift. My whole day was ruined regardless of how early I got up, I could get nothing done, and I stressed all day about my commitment later of going to work. It was the worst period of my life, and all around me suffered. I now am self employed which is the best way to work around this debilitation. I do service work in peoples homes, so I make vague commitments, and I only have one person to answer too, instead of a customer, a secretary and a boss.
My clock is the sun and my time is my own.

 

[Aspieistj]

I think it is incredibly rude to be late for anything. I am absolutely miserable while waiting for someone to come to my home for an appointment. I frantically "get ready" for the intruder and it drives me insane if that person is late, or early. Time is specific. Choose a time and then be here! I am extremely uncomfortable if I am delayed along the way to an appointment I NEVER am without a watch. I had a friend who had a foolish idea that wearing a watch might cut off her circulation and whenever we were together she frequently asked me for the time. If we went to a place where we wanted to browse at our own pace and split up, she actually had to ask strangers what time it was so she would get back to me on time. She had a habit of grasping my wrist so she could see my watch. It really became a very stressful situation to me and I would refuse to tell her the time and instead, tell her to get a watch! She eventually DID get a watch and that was a very good thing.

 

[djn]

I am wondering if anyone struggles with time. For example, If I know I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I feel uneasy about the time I have before hand. Kind of like the day is ruined because I have to be somewhere later. I feel very protective of my time and bothered about even small amounts being taken up.

Thank

Yes, I am the same. Like Sass, I used to be ridiculously early, but now my time before hand is just ruined. I DO NOT wear a watch, and I never promise anyone a time commitment. The thing that stresses me the most is when someone is waiting for me, especially if I am late, which I ALWAYS am. I swear I will be late to my own funeral.
The worst job I ever had was when I worked second shift. My whole day was ruined regardless of how early I got up, I could get nothing done, and I stressed all day about my commitment later of going to work. It was the worst period of my life, and all around me suffered. I now am self employed which is the best way to work around this debilitation. I do service work in peoples homes, so I make vague commitments, and I only have one person to answer too, instead of a customer, a secretary and a boss.
My clock is the sun and my time is my own.

 

[djn]

You have described my life with time too. It's nice to read it articulated because I had trouble describing it. Thank you and I would love to hear more about it (when you have time .

 

[djn]

Yes, I am the same. Like Sass, I used to be ridiculously early, but now my time before hand is just ruined. I DO NOT wear a watch, and I never promise anyone a time commitment. The thing that stresses me the most is when someone is waiting for me, especially if I am late, which I ALWAYS am. I swear I will be late to my own funeral.
The worst job I ever had was when I worked second shift. My whole day was ruined regardless of how early I got up, I could get nothing done, and I stressed all day about my commitment later of going to work. It was the worst period of my life, and all around me suffered. I now am self employed which is the best way to work around this debilitation. I do service work in peoples homes, so I make vague commitments, and I only have one person to answer too, instead of a customer, a secretary and a boss.
My clock is the sun and my time is my own.

Does anyone just do nothing in the morning if have something in the afternoon? Or cancel getting together with people because it takes time that could be spent alone? And how about trying to find any reason not to go to things like Christmas stuff with people or other family get togethers. Time is always on my mind and I spend hours on are gulab basis trying to come up with a schedule that will work best, but never follow them for very long. Has anyone come up with ways to deal with these things?

 

[djn]

I'm exactly the same. I break the day up into time periods, and even if a certain activity only takes up a small portion of it, I can't do anything else in that time because in my mind it's taken. I'm also fanatical about being on time, to the point that I'm almost always stupidly early whenever I have to be somewhere.

Exactly!

 

[MovieMike]

I usually have to have a comfortable amount of time spare to feel like I can do something. For example, if I have to be at work in 2.5 hours I won't watch a 2 hour movie because it doesn't feel like I have enough time.
The plus side to this kind of attitude is that I'm always conscious to be on time. And it really annoys me when others aren't on time. Like last year, I had to do a group project at uni with some people who were repeatedly late, even when they set the time to meet. After I spent over an hour waiting for them in a part of a city I was completely unfamiliar with I had to tell them off. Makes me wish more people were time conscious.

 

[LittleFiddle05]

I can relate to most of these comments, at least to some degree. I usually try to have at least one crash day a week in my schedule (this summer that's not happening and I've been incredibly anxious as a result), and that day cannot have *anything* scheduled, even fun. If I do have a whole day off, but see my boyfriend, then I don't feel like it was a day off, it was just a pleasant kind of full - like getting stuffed on cake instead of vegetables, you may enjoy the cake more but you'll still feel full by the end. This summer, I'm actually seeing a psychologist once a week, and I've put my availability at both of my jobs as not available to work the day that I see my psychologist, so my only commitment that day is my appointment... but that day still feels full. On a related note, I will not make plans with less than one week's notice, and prior to my diagnosis (at which point I started rethinking my definitions of the world), I thought it was incredibly rude for someone to try to make plans with less notice than that. If someone asks me if I want to do something with only a day or two of warning, I'll generally say that I'm busy, even if "busy" just means sitting in my room procrastinating on homework.

I have the same tendency to be early for everything, but I think that comes more from my musical upbringing; I started playing the violin when I was 3, and for any sort of lesson or rehearsal you're expected to be at least 15 minutes early to take out your instrument, tune, etc. If you're not 15 minutes early, then someone is stuck waiting for you - in an orchestra setting that can be your standpartner, in chamber music that can be the whole quartet/trio/etc, in a lesson that can be your teacher, but regardless of who, being less than 15 minutes early is disruptive. But if someone is coming to see me, I'm generally not really prepared (emotionally, mostly) until the time they're meant to arrive. I may have everything tidied up and set out as needed, but I'll be counting on that last minute before their arrival to send one more text, practice one more scale, read one more page... some sort of preparation that I rationally know isn't necessary, but which feels necessary at the time nonetheless. So when I AM early, I'll usually wait outside until it's time unless there's some sort of waiting area.

 

[djn]

I can relate to most of these comments, at least to some degree. I usually try to have at least one crash day a week in my schedule (this summer that's not happening and I've been incredibly anxious as a result), and that day cannot have *anything* scheduled, even fun. If I do have a whole day off, but see my boyfriend, then I don't feel like it was a day off, it was just a pleasant kind of full - like getting stuffed on cake instead of vegetables, you may enjoy the cake more but you'll still feel full by the end. This summer, I'm actually seeing a psychologist once a week, and I've put my availability at both of my jobs as not available to work the day that I see my psychologist, so my only commitment that day is my appointment... but that day still feels full. On a related note, I will not make plans with less than one week's notice, and prior to my diagnosis (at which point I started rethinking my definitions of the world), I thought it was incredibly rude for someone to try to make plans with less notice than that. If someone asks me if I want to do something with only a day or two of warning, I'll generally say that I'm busy, even if "busy" just means sitting in my room procrastinating on homework.

I have the same tendency to be early for everything, but I think that comes more from my musical upbringing; I started playing the violin when I was 3, and for any sort of lesson or rehearsal you're expected to be at least 15 minutes early to take out your instrument, tune, etc. If you're not 15 minutes early, then someone is stuck waiting for you - in an orchestra setting that can be your standpartner, in chamber music that can be the whole quartet/trio/etc, in a lesson that can be your teacher, but regardless of who, being less than 15 minutes early is disruptive. But if someone is coming to see me, I'm generally not really prepared (emotionally, mostly) until the time they're meant to arrive. I may have everything tidied up and set out as needed, but I'll be counting on that last minute before their arrival to send one more text, practice one more scale, read one more page... some sort of preparation that I rationally know isn't necessary, but which feels necessary at the time nonetheless. So when I AM early, I'll usually wait outside until it's time unless there's some sort of waiting area.

This post and the others have helped me see its the Aspergers. I'm really tired of this particular symptom. It feels like a weight that's always there. I help people with coping skills all week, but I have found no way to make this one better. Please let me know if any of you have. Thanks.

 

[LgndKllr24]

I tend to get anxious knowing that I have to be someplace too. I really hate when I have a day off of work but then have to go someplace in the evening. It doesn't even really feel like a day off to me because I'm thinking all day about how much I wish I can stay home instead of having to go someplace. I much prefer that people schedule things for morning or early afternoon if they absolutely insist on wanting to get together someplace. That way I can have it done early and just enjoy the rest of the day.

It's not as bad when say, we have one guest over our house in the evening, because things aren't too hectic and we don't have to go anyplace. But once it gets past a certain time of the day, there is no way I want to leave the comfort of my home.

 

[Dusty285]

Yes. Across the board.

Keep track of the time on the clock. A big outdoor clock with chimes at college was nice. A marker every quarter-hour.

Working with a requirement to keep a log accurate to the nearest 15 minutes was easy. Log start and finish times; plan for each stage. Make it all happen. Boss loved my accurate record. That was a long time ago.

Now it's pick up or drop grandchildren for school. I get up hours early and get kids out of bed on a schedule that allows for 'issues.' Never late. Afternoon pick-up ties me up in a virtual "twiddling my thumbs" for hours so I am there at exactly the right time before they get out of school.

Going places or doing things I constantly time how long it takes and compare to previous time-to-do. Very often I am 'locked' at home because I can't make myself take the time to do prep or tie up how long it might take to go somewhere and do whatever; even when I know there is a big amount of time to spare.

Same-same as all of you.

Thanks to all for posting.