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Time for acceptance

offkey

Member
Hello everyone,

I was diagnosed with Asperger's 13 years ago. After my diagnosis and fairly effective therapies, I decided not to embrace the diagnosis. I didn't need to: I managed myself, was able to get degrees and build a career, had (and still have) some very good friends, got into a relationship, and I still am. But still, there were always the reminders that I'm at least slightly offkey. Professionally and even in social settings, I'm pretty good at masking my peculiarities, but apparently even better at fooling myself.

I'm done with that. Part of it is that I'm struggling with the relationships with people I deeply care for, so that's an extra motivation to become more aware of what being an Aspie means in my case.

The last couple of days, I've been reading a lot about Asperger's and it's helpful (and sometimes moving) to read experiences of other Aspies. It's nice to be able to identify with people. It's not that often that I meet people who do have the same experiences as me.
 
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It really is a niggling thing that feeling of being 'offkey'... no matter how hard you try, nothing is quite right and you feel others treat you just ever so slightly ... differently. A lot of us on the forum have had that and didn't have a diagnosis and it truly is something that chips away at your sanity over time. You've managed so well from the sounds of things, well done! Welcome to the next part of your journey, I hope you find some useful information here and be able to accept this part of you with time. There is nothing wrong with being on the spectrum, we're just human after all. Everyone is different in the same way. :)
 
Hi @offkey
Plenty of us have done the same thing and many of us mask to function in everyday life. It's good to talk to other people who see the world through similar eyes to your own though. Welcome to the community :)
 
Hi @offkey. Welcome! I can understand and appreciate acceptance as for me it was hard as well. Actually, in all fairness, it continues to be challenging. At the very least, you've found a safe, friendly, and understanding place. Keep on fighting the good fight.
 
Hello everyone,

I was diagnosed with Asperger's 13 years ago. After my diagnosis and fairly effective therapies, I decided not to embrace the diagnosis. I didn't need to: I managed myself, was able to get degrees and build a career, had (and still have) some very good friends, got into a relationship, and I still am. But still, there were always the reminders that I'm at least slightly offkey. Professionally and even in social settings, I'm pretty good at masking my peculiarities, but apparently even better at fooling myself.

I'm done with that. Part of it is that I'm struggling with the relationships with people I deeply care for, so that's an extra motivation to become more aware of what being an Aspie means in my case.

The last couple of days, I've been reading a lot about Asperger's and it's helpful (and sometimes moving) to read experiences of other Aspies. It's nice to be able to identify with people. It's not that often that I meet people who do have the same experiences as me.

Welcome! I have a few peculiarities , even before a self diagnosis I've never hid them at all, I've just been myself, I think I just decided to do that.

I prefer to hang out at a more eccentric local coffee shop, not a big fan of the more corporate Starbucks franchise, that's the way I tend to be.
 
Welcome @offkey .
I was diagnosed only three years ago and I'm still in the going through the acceptance part of it.
At the age I was diagnosed, 58, I had never heard of Asperger's and didn't know much about being on the spectrum.
I knew I felt like the oddball around other people all of my life because I didn't fit in with the way they
lived and how they wanted their life so different to how I felt.
I learned to mask when it came to co-workers and a career. Beyond that, I didn't really try to
hide being different. I wouldn't have enjoyed myself as much as I did if I had to mask continually.
 
Welcome to Autismforums, Offkey. I understand what you have said. I can relate mostly. I think one gains a sense of liberty when he/she embraces the realities of who one is and is honest about what life is like. Your path to personal acceptance will be enlightening, liberating and excruciatingly difficult. Your revelation to those around you that you choose to reveal who you are will result in lost love and friendships. It’s just how it is statistically speaking. You will find out who cares about you and who does not. It was an epiphany for me. Love those around you no matter. Take the high road. I’m very glad that you have joined this forum and I look forward to learning from your experiences.
 

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