My wife (NT) and I seemed to do well, overall. There were a lot of sacrifices we made for our children. When the kids were infants/small children, she was able to get a weekend-nights nursing position (she's an RN), so she could be home with the kids during the week. I worked 12-hr day shifts. It pretty much eliminated any weekend social events with family, etc. and she took a pay cut. She didn't return to a full-time day shift position until the kids were old enough to drive on their own.
From an autism perspective, I think the only thing that really bothers me is the fact that I really had a difficult time with the bonding. I know, it bothers me to say this, but as much as I would do anything for my kids and gave them all I had, I was more the mentor that taught them life skills, we never really had "father-son playtime", I wish there was, there was always this glass wall between us. It's still there. They are 28 and 30. They would far rather communicate with their mom. When they call home, they call on my wife's phone, never mine. We never had conflicts, I did "dad things" with them as far as life skills, building things, repairing things, etc, they are happy kids and successful in their adult lives, but we just found it difficult to communicate and bond in meaningful ways.
The final comment here, and this is from a neonatal respiratory therapist working at one of the largest children's hospitals in the US, the 4th largest neonatal center in the world, and our obstetrical unit takes up 5 floors and we deliver over 9000 babies a year. I've been doing this for nearly 40 years. Having said that, do understand that a pregnant woman that is 35 and over is considered "geriatric". You may not feel old yourself, and this is not our social norm anymore, but biologically, women are at their peak fertility at around 20 +/- and are more likely to have a good pregnancy and healthy, normal babies at that age. At 38, you will be put into a "high risk" category and treated as such. Pregnancy is no joke. It's hard on a body. It's far better tolerated in your youth. Furthermore, one of the top risks for autism is "old eggs and sperm", not to mention Down's Syndrome and other fetal anomalies. I say this from a clinical standpoint, not a personal one. My intent is not to shock you or create anxiety, but to make you aware. If you become pregnant, congratulations, it's a beautiful thing, and you may end up with a perfectly normal and healthy baby, but your obstetrician will likely bring up these points, as well.
Take care
