Too passive

[Kit]

Does anyone have troubles with confrontations?


I have difficulty being honest telling someone their rantings are bothering me.

I made this new friend online and she has been talking about getting a whipping when she was 18 and it only happened once. She has issues with jealousy and envy so anyone who has a better life than her, she thinks low of them and she rants about it. I feel very uncomfortable by all this and the fact trash talking people who have good lives and saying they are stuck up because they don't want to trade it for a misery life. That would imply me too because I have a good life and wouldn't want to trade it for another life. I want to tell her to stop talking about it because she has already said it and she doesn't need to repeat it but i am afraid of how she will take it. I feel so NT because I can't be honest. I have always had issues with being passive. I just want to stand up and tell her how I feel but I am too afraid of hurting her feelings. Instead I signed out of MSN because her last comment upset me. Saying most women who don't get whippings are dainty and can't do for themselves. She is a nice lady but she is just bitter because of a whipping she got when she was 18.

 

[Emor]

I just rambled on for the last 20 minutes writing a post I've just deleted now about basically ever confrontation I've ever had.
Basically I can be a total asshole given the right conditions.
But I also can put up with way more **** than most people without doing something.
EMZ=]

 

[PanPaniscus]

Yeah I've always been too passive and have let people walk all over me.
But at home I tend to be more aggressive.

 

[mikeg26843]

Yeah I've always been too passive and have let people walk all over me.
But at home I tend to be more aggressive.

to be honest im the same, im trying to be more acertive though

 

[Sipe]

That friend of yours sounds pretty angry and sad if she hates everyone whose life is "better" than hers. I think you should tell her how you really feel. If she does`t like it, it`s her problem. If she stops talking to you after hearing you out she was`t a good friend in the first place. I bet that she is the main reason for her life being bad; She focuses on her life`s misery so much that it`s impossible for her life to get any better.

 

[Ruby_Aspergic]

You don't seem to have that problem on forums, so maybe you just need to channel whatever energy you use then into your conversations with your friends.

 

[Ana54]

I know who Spokane Girl is talking about and I have felt the same as her. What she means, I think, is that she's tired of being called spoiled and her problems not being taken seriously when people who are really spoiled get their problems taken seriously. As for the whipping, who are we to decide what traumatizes who? She had unusual values and so she got traumatized by unusual things, or unusually intense values that get her traumatized way more easily. She is not alone.

 

[Kit]

I sent her a PM telling her how I feel and she took it well apologizing for making me uncomfortable and putting me in a awkward situation and she does not think those things of me. We still chat on MSN.

 

[IdahoRose]

I've got a problem with being too passive. I really hate confrontation, because I'm such a timid and sensitive person that it's easy for me to get backed into a corner (metaphorically speaking) during an argument.

My main problem is telling people to back off when they're being annoying. This kind of thing is tricky because they're upsetting me, just not on purpose like they'd be doing if they were bullying. So I'm scared that if I tell them to leave me alone, their feelings will get hurt. So I cope with them by blocking them from messaging me and hoping they'll just forget about me and move on.

I realize that behaving this way is not the nicest or most effective way to deal with this problem, but my fear of confrontation is so great that I'd rather them never know what happened than tell them the truth.