Tough Day

[Mattymatt]

I made an effort to go out and socialize tonight at a meetup.com event and had a decent time. It was a win of sorts but I sit here waiting for my train home feeling an overwhelming sense of loss.

I don't want to admit it but can no longer ignore the signs: I have the onset of clinical depression again. That feeling of being a ghost floating through life has come back.

Too much happened to me and too quickly. It's more than my Aspie mind can process. I can feel myself shutting down.

 

[2aspirin]

Sorry to hear that. I understand. It is good that you are not ignoring the reality of depression entering. When I get that way, I have to really focus on staying entirely in the unit of The Day. I try to keep my thoughts on the day at hand, entirely. So e days are not meant to be days to think of other days let alone think about a whole string of days called "life story." Nothing worse than being an actor in the life story on a bad day!

Was the meetup an aspie one? I am in the same region. Just curious.

 

[Mattymatt]

No, it was just a general meetup but it wasn't bad and it was a small group.

 

[2aspirin]

That is good. It is probably good to push to do things like that when depressed. Not easy though.

 

[Mattymatt]

Having been clinically depressed before, I know quite intimately how important a fighting spirit is.

 

[Mattymatt]

I can't wait until it becomes legal nationwide

 

[Mattymatt]

True. Has anyone high on pot ever wanted to kill or rob you?