15-16 hours away from home per day over the past 3 working days. This care job has introduced me to so many people, from all walks of life.
Each person I have endeavoured to learn more about - approaching with kindness, warmth and patience. The learning curve has felt steep at times, but I have noticed clients and their family/friends have warmed to me.
This is an extremely rewarding job. The only thing that currently conjures anxiety is learning the routines of these people. But this comes with time, as one client told me yesterday "Rome wasn't built in a day."
The job is bringing me out of my shell quite rapidly. The past few days I've encountered people in the street where I admire something about them. I would never normally utter a word - but I have been going out of my way to approach people, and to compliment them. Not only this, but normally I'd look away when I looked at people and their gaze met mine. Instead, as soon as they see me looking at them, I give them a warm smile and nod. Once again, this job is nurturing something that has been missing for a long time - warmth and self-belief.
Not only this, but I'm spending my breaks during the day with a smile on my face, and noticing so many beautiful sights, people and sounds around me. I'm taking in the positivity in life more and more. I've been so used to feeling lost in thoughts, and so often they turned darker the more I withdrew inwards. This job is putting so much of my life into perspective.
Some of the clients really do struggle; and in their struggles at times it can seem standoffish. With these people I dedicate even more empathy, kindness and patience. Several today clearly needed that extra care and understanding - I listened to my gut, and made that much needed connection.
In doing this I saw how their spirits were lifted. I don't like friction, and I do my best to make it melt away. This kindness and patience I'm showing makes me realise that the person I'm least kind towards is myself. I think the more I help others, the more I will grow as a person and emotionally. Honestly, the feedback has been incredible, and work is very pleased - which can feel a little tricky to process at times what with my warped, and depleted sense of self-worth.
Strange really, after 3 very long days, I got home and felt energised. Now I feel quite tired and aching, but it's ok. I've learned a lot. The people I've doubled up with have helped me a lot, and I feel like I am grasping techniques and routines.
Confidence is building, and my loneliness is diminishing. Overwhelming thoughts during my time alone give way to practicality and care when I am with these people.
Life can change in an instant - and some people end up needing a lot of care from these sudden changes. I've known mental health struggles, and yet I find this job is actually lifting my spirits. It's helping me to look beyond my anxiety and depression - and it's moving me towards understanding, compassion and love - both for myself, and to provide assistance and care for those clients and colleagues who I'm working for.
I know care work isn't for everyone. But I know in my gut this is what I was meant to do. I drove home and shed a few tears. Not sadness or overwhelm. But simply through meeting and connecting with people who need help, and doing my bit to help. I know that with practice and patience these new techniques and skills will become second nature, which means I can provide care without allowing the imposter syndrome to convince me I'm incapable, when I know that I am capable of being adept at this job, and my double today said I did incredibly well. That she doesn't care to double up with many people, but she found working with me to be very good. An excellent thing to hear after only 2 days of working together as a team.
Each day is being filled with a lot of smiles and laughter. Which is a far cry from how much time I've spent on my own, feeling bleak, alone and terrified.
Take the only road you know
The one that calls you from inside
In my hands I hold the past
Lead me closer to the light
Ed
Each person I have endeavoured to learn more about - approaching with kindness, warmth and patience. The learning curve has felt steep at times, but I have noticed clients and their family/friends have warmed to me.
This is an extremely rewarding job. The only thing that currently conjures anxiety is learning the routines of these people. But this comes with time, as one client told me yesterday "Rome wasn't built in a day."
The job is bringing me out of my shell quite rapidly. The past few days I've encountered people in the street where I admire something about them. I would never normally utter a word - but I have been going out of my way to approach people, and to compliment them. Not only this, but normally I'd look away when I looked at people and their gaze met mine. Instead, as soon as they see me looking at them, I give them a warm smile and nod. Once again, this job is nurturing something that has been missing for a long time - warmth and self-belief.
Not only this, but I'm spending my breaks during the day with a smile on my face, and noticing so many beautiful sights, people and sounds around me. I'm taking in the positivity in life more and more. I've been so used to feeling lost in thoughts, and so often they turned darker the more I withdrew inwards. This job is putting so much of my life into perspective.
Some of the clients really do struggle; and in their struggles at times it can seem standoffish. With these people I dedicate even more empathy, kindness and patience. Several today clearly needed that extra care and understanding - I listened to my gut, and made that much needed connection.
In doing this I saw how their spirits were lifted. I don't like friction, and I do my best to make it melt away. This kindness and patience I'm showing makes me realise that the person I'm least kind towards is myself. I think the more I help others, the more I will grow as a person and emotionally. Honestly, the feedback has been incredible, and work is very pleased - which can feel a little tricky to process at times what with my warped, and depleted sense of self-worth.
Strange really, after 3 very long days, I got home and felt energised. Now I feel quite tired and aching, but it's ok. I've learned a lot. The people I've doubled up with have helped me a lot, and I feel like I am grasping techniques and routines.
Confidence is building, and my loneliness is diminishing. Overwhelming thoughts during my time alone give way to practicality and care when I am with these people.
Life can change in an instant - and some people end up needing a lot of care from these sudden changes. I've known mental health struggles, and yet I find this job is actually lifting my spirits. It's helping me to look beyond my anxiety and depression - and it's moving me towards understanding, compassion and love - both for myself, and to provide assistance and care for those clients and colleagues who I'm working for.
I know care work isn't for everyone. But I know in my gut this is what I was meant to do. I drove home and shed a few tears. Not sadness or overwhelm. But simply through meeting and connecting with people who need help, and doing my bit to help. I know that with practice and patience these new techniques and skills will become second nature, which means I can provide care without allowing the imposter syndrome to convince me I'm incapable, when I know that I am capable of being adept at this job, and my double today said I did incredibly well. That she doesn't care to double up with many people, but she found working with me to be very good. An excellent thing to hear after only 2 days of working together as a team.
Each day is being filled with a lot of smiles and laughter. Which is a far cry from how much time I've spent on my own, feeling bleak, alone and terrified.
Take the only road you know
The one that calls you from inside
In my hands I hold the past
Lead me closer to the light
Ed
