On fairly short notice I went with my daughter and her family for three nights for my two granddaughter's cheerleading competition so I could help with the two little ones (14 mth old and 3 year old). By the way, my 7 year old and 5 year old granddaughter is on the same cheer squad and their squad not only won first place in their division but won grand champions of all the divisions (including older squads). Proud grandma here. 
It was a fun, miserable weekend. Isn't that the way it is for us most the time? The very worst part was that the bathroom in our motel room would not latch closed and the little ones loved going into the bathroom - so I just avoided trying to shower and tried to mostly use the bathroom in the lobby.
But I found myself constantly wondering where I needed to be. I'd go outside to smoke a cigarette and my daughter would have said, "Oh, we're fine, go on". Halfway through I'd be feeling like I needed to be upstairs helping (I guess it was in my head that I was there to help and couldn''t separate helping all the time from helping when they needed me). So I'd rush through and go back upstairs only to have nothing to do but sit uncomfortably and feel like I was interfering with their time, so I'd go back downstairs, then come back again from guilt. I just didn't know where to be. Forget my morning routine - there was none. The only time I felt I was in the right place was when I was actually in the room babysitting the two little ones. I do that well - entertaining little ones is a specialty of mine. lol I made the 3 year old a table top bowling, using empty plastic bottles and a ball he had brought. And the 14 month old was interested in easy things like dropping a toy into a plastic cup. And then you've got little cheerleaders running in and out - took me back to when I was taking mine to these away competitions. Also, the standing around with all these parents I didn't know that would choose to talk to me and I'm trying to shrink into the wall.
The competition itself is LOUD and people everywhere moving around. I brought playdough for the 3 year old and I gave some to the 6 year old girl sitting behind us. Next thing I know, unintentionally, I'm entertaining 3. This little girl would sit there and say "You're so funny". lol See that's the kind of thing I mean when I say my insides and outsides never match. The little girl is enjoying it and on the inside I'm thinking "Go away little girl".
4 1/2 hour drive back to their house with 4 kids in the car wasn't too bad. Pulling into their drive way I told my son in law "Don't you dare block me in". He laughed cause he knew I was anxious to get out of there and go home. lol Then getting my stuff out of the back of their van - my daughter and grandson with me, I could tell things were going to fall out as I was lifting the back so I was trying to reach underneath the door to catch things but the door came out further than I thought which pushed me backward and, at my age, you no longer are able to catch yourself and stop yourself from going down. My grandson looked shocked and me and my daughter couldn't stop laughing. I told her I hate falling. She laughed and said it was actually more of a roll. So I said I guess after watching all the tumbling my subconscious needed to give it a try? But I enjoyed the peaceful drive home, and I'm not even sure it took me my usual 45 minutes to get home.
But just another reminder why I don't like going places. Rushing through my (not my usual) breakfasts, never knowing where I belong, no comfort zone, forced to be social, unfamiliar noises and everything, worrying about my animals at home, trying to come up with funny things to say to make people laugh to ease my discomfort a little. So on and so on.
Relate?
It was a fun, miserable weekend. Isn't that the way it is for us most the time? The very worst part was that the bathroom in our motel room would not latch closed and the little ones loved going into the bathroom - so I just avoided trying to shower and tried to mostly use the bathroom in the lobby.
But I found myself constantly wondering where I needed to be. I'd go outside to smoke a cigarette and my daughter would have said, "Oh, we're fine, go on". Halfway through I'd be feeling like I needed to be upstairs helping (I guess it was in my head that I was there to help and couldn''t separate helping all the time from helping when they needed me). So I'd rush through and go back upstairs only to have nothing to do but sit uncomfortably and feel like I was interfering with their time, so I'd go back downstairs, then come back again from guilt. I just didn't know where to be. Forget my morning routine - there was none. The only time I felt I was in the right place was when I was actually in the room babysitting the two little ones. I do that well - entertaining little ones is a specialty of mine. lol I made the 3 year old a table top bowling, using empty plastic bottles and a ball he had brought.
And the 14 month old was interested in easy things like dropping a toy into a plastic cup. And then you've got little cheerleaders running in and out - took me back to when I was taking mine to these away competitions. Also, the standing around with all these parents I didn't know that would choose to talk to me and I'm trying to shrink into the wall.The competition itself is LOUD and people everywhere moving around. I brought playdough for the 3 year old and I gave some to the 6 year old girl sitting behind us. Next thing I know, unintentionally, I'm entertaining 3. This little girl would sit there and say "You're so funny". lol See that's the kind of thing I mean when I say my insides and outsides never match. The little girl is enjoying it and on the inside I'm thinking "Go away little girl".
4 1/2 hour drive back to their house with 4 kids in the car wasn't too bad. Pulling into their drive way I told my son in law "Don't you dare block me in". He laughed cause he knew I was anxious to get out of there and go home. lol Then getting my stuff out of the back of their van - my daughter and grandson with me, I could tell things were going to fall out as I was lifting the back so I was trying to reach underneath the door to catch things but the door came out further than I thought which pushed me backward and, at my age, you no longer are able to catch yourself and stop yourself from going down. My grandson looked shocked and me and my daughter couldn't stop laughing. I told her I hate falling. She laughed and said it was actually more of a roll. So I said I guess after watching all the tumbling my subconscious needed to give it a try? But I enjoyed the peaceful drive home, and I'm not even sure it took me my usual 45 minutes to get home.
But just another reminder why I don't like going places. Rushing through my (not my usual) breakfasts, never knowing where I belong, no comfort zone, forced to be social, unfamiliar noises and everything, worrying about my animals at home, trying to come up with funny things to say to make people laugh to ease my discomfort a little. So on and so on.
Relate?
