OK, perhaps that subject line was a bit whiny. It also explains my life from ages 12-17.
I was a popular target for the bullies at my elementary school, so I had frequent meltdowns on school property. I spent years 4&5 in a specialized education program where I was just another kid, and it worked out well for me. But then my parents tried placing me into a public school district for middle school. They took one look at the fact that I had meltdowns, and then they decided to place me in their school program that was designed for students who were constantly in and out of the legal system. I was not violent, but it frightened the public school staff to see a middle school boy break down into tears over being bullied nonstop.
High school was more of the same. A few staff members made it very clear to me that they were looking for any reason they could possibly conjure up to have me placed in the custody of the juvenile legal system. Never mind that I was never violent, nor did they mind the fact that I often was a victim of brutal violence that often happened right in front of them. To them, I was a non-person.
How can I describe my meltdowns? I just shut down and started crying nonstop. Occasionally, I would try to defend myself from the violence being inflicted upon me, but then the school staff looked at that and branded me a violent person. I once got expelled and had the cops called on me because I picked up a chair defensively to keep another student from attacking me with a baseball bat - the other student faced no disciplinary action over that incident other than a slap on the wrist.
It is difficult for me not to feel like a major victim when I remember all of this. My parents treated me like I was a bull and the entire world around me was a china shop. My mother took me to doctors and therapists that let her do all of the talking in my place, and then told me that I was being immature when I stated that I wanted the chance to speak for myself.
I am grateful that the treatment of students living on the spectrum has improved since then in the local school districts. After I graduated from high school, I took control of my own mental health and autism treatment. After spending a decade and a half in the pits of addiction. around the age of 32, I started taking recovery and treatment seriously. Now, I feel calm most of the time and I have not had a meltdown in more than three years. I have a steady job, volunteer shifts, and a great social circle. Pretty much most of the things I was told I would never have are in my life right now.
Does anybody else here have any experience of being marginalized over symptoms of being on the spectrum? And how does one let go of that experience completely? I will admit, I still am rather bitter about this, even though it was two decades ago.
I was a popular target for the bullies at my elementary school, so I had frequent meltdowns on school property. I spent years 4&5 in a specialized education program where I was just another kid, and it worked out well for me. But then my parents tried placing me into a public school district for middle school. They took one look at the fact that I had meltdowns, and then they decided to place me in their school program that was designed for students who were constantly in and out of the legal system. I was not violent, but it frightened the public school staff to see a middle school boy break down into tears over being bullied nonstop.
High school was more of the same. A few staff members made it very clear to me that they were looking for any reason they could possibly conjure up to have me placed in the custody of the juvenile legal system. Never mind that I was never violent, nor did they mind the fact that I often was a victim of brutal violence that often happened right in front of them. To them, I was a non-person.
How can I describe my meltdowns? I just shut down and started crying nonstop. Occasionally, I would try to defend myself from the violence being inflicted upon me, but then the school staff looked at that and branded me a violent person. I once got expelled and had the cops called on me because I picked up a chair defensively to keep another student from attacking me with a baseball bat - the other student faced no disciplinary action over that incident other than a slap on the wrist.
It is difficult for me not to feel like a major victim when I remember all of this. My parents treated me like I was a bull and the entire world around me was a china shop. My mother took me to doctors and therapists that let her do all of the talking in my place, and then told me that I was being immature when I stated that I wanted the chance to speak for myself.
I am grateful that the treatment of students living on the spectrum has improved since then in the local school districts. After I graduated from high school, I took control of my own mental health and autism treatment. After spending a decade and a half in the pits of addiction. around the age of 32, I started taking recovery and treatment seriously. Now, I feel calm most of the time and I have not had a meltdown in more than three years. I have a steady job, volunteer shifts, and a great social circle. Pretty much most of the things I was told I would never have are in my life right now.
Does anybody else here have any experience of being marginalized over symptoms of being on the spectrum? And how does one let go of that experience completely? I will admit, I still am rather bitter about this, even though it was two decades ago.
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makes me think of a few times in my life.
