• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Treated Like A Liar?

Are you commonly treated like you lie about everything, when you don't?

  • Yes

    Votes: 6 60.0%

  • No

    Votes: 4 40.0%
  • Total voters
    10
M

MEDL86

Deleted
Pretty much for my entire life, people have chosen to ignore or disregard what I say. It doesn't matter what it's about, people automatically assume I'm lying about something, even though I have no reason to lie about it (or anything else for that matter), and I tend to be right about said topics more often than not. The irony is, my sister, who was/is the biggest liar I've ever heard of, is often enough, believed by the same people that disregard what I say.

Has anyone else been treated like a liar, even though you don't really lie?

I honestly think people treat me that way because of the fact that I have A.S.
 
Yes I have, many times with my own biological family. My older sister was the golden child in the family, and tormented me throughout my childhood, when I complained about her brutality I was not believed, so I stopped telling anyone anything. She was never really reprimanded for anything she did, so she continued her campaign right up into adulthood. It resulted in my entire family believing that I was a liar, I've been honest my entire life, but because of my sister's campaign I was perceived as a liar. But thankfully not by my spouse or friends, who know exactly who I am.

I was labelled very early on, and there was nothing I could do about it, my own Mother blamed me for anything that was broken, lost, misplaced and so on. I've given up defending myself against a family that branded me the scapegoat, I have little to do with them since my Father passed away years ago.

See my post on the criteria for lying: https://www.aspiescentral.com/threads/the-criteria-for-lying.12811/ It might give you an idea about the why of it all.
 
Mia said:
Yes I have, many times with my own biological family. My older sister was the golden child in the family, and tormented me throughout my childhood, when I complained about her brutality I was not believed, so I stopped telling anyone anything. She was never really reprimanded for anything she did, so she continued her campaign right up into adulthood. It resulted in my entire family believing that I was a liar, I've been honest my entire life, but because of my sister's campaign I was perceived as a liar. But thankfully not by my spouse or friends, who know exactly who I am.

I was labelled very early on, and there was nothing I could do about it, my own Mother blamed me for anything that was broken, lost, misplaced and so on. I've given up defending myself against a family that branded me the scapegoat, I have little to do with them since my Father passed away years ago.

See my post on the criteria for lying: https://www.aspiescentral.com/threads/the-criteria-for-lying.12811/ It might give you an idea about the why of it all.
Click to expand...
Sounds very similar to my childhood and growing up. I was the oldest of three, and my sister was generally believed until around adulthood when her lies became more and more obvious and pronounced. Though I'm still treated as though I lie about stuff, at least I can take comfort that everything my sister says these days is taken with a grain of salt.
It was even worse with my brother, who was the youngest. My sister taught him at an early age, how to lie in small ways that got me into trouble, even when I did nothing. It was so bad at one point, that they were convinced I was hurting my brother in some way, and every time he'd whine (not cry, no tears at all), my father would threaten me with physical force (he didn't witness anything to warrant the response, and he'd even do it when everyone else was there to prove I did nothing). I was a teenager at the time, and was already dealing with crap at school as it was, needless to say I stayed in my room a lot when I was home, and often enough I didn't want to be there in the house with them. I've never been particularly close to my family either, and out of everyone, I'm the only one that has to depend on outside help, so I'm pretty much the loner of the family.

But, that's a completely different story altogether. Maybe I'll put it in my blog when I feel up to it though...
 
No, this very rarely happens. Actually, I have a reputation for being very honest and fair. The only time I can remember this happening was when my mum accused me of losing a brace I had for my teeth when I was a kid. She thought I had misplaced it on purpose, when I hadn't.
 
I'm well known for my honesty. And bluntness. Which baffles me considering how much I hold back. :confused:

I've been called a liar by some really catty men and women, but they tend to not have a good reputation themselves so I don't worry about it.
 
Quite the opposite, I tend to get in trouble for telling too much of the truth, or telling the truth when a white lie would have been better. The thing is, I know when white lies are better and what not to say but, for me it isn't natural not to speak the whole truth or to tell even white lies. I do it professionally, I have to but, personally I'm not going to do that just to spare someone's feeling. I'd also prefer people didn't do it to me, I'd rather hear the hard truth and deal with it than be lied to, even a little bit.
 
Apparently staring at my feet and mumbling most of what I say doesn't exactly inspire confidence in my honesty. Fortunately, that only really applies with people who don't know me well; people who've known me for a while tend to figure out eventually that I just don't lie.

Not that I don't want to, mind you. I'm just so bad at it that there's little point in trying.

Had the same issue growing up that others mentioned. My parents would often treat me like I was lying while believing every word that came out of my sisters' mouths. But, now that we've all reached adulthood, their position on that has reversed.
 
Short answer is no.

I used to have someone in my life who did that once. He turned out to be a dangerous psychopath who finally ended up trying to kill me. He was very manipulative and somehow always found ways to stay "friends" with me even though most of the time I hated him. The time he accused me of being a liar, he used it to humiliate me over a girl we both knew. I'd advise caution, but outright hatred wasn't even good enough.

All relationships are based on trust. Business, friendship, romantic, sexual doesn't matter. If someone is accusing you of being a liar, then you don't have that trust and the relationship is dysfunctional and potentially dangerous. Get as far away as fast as you can.
 
People don't listen to me very much, but I think it's just because they have short attention spans and/or don't care about what I'm saying.
 
Not sure what to put on your poll, because I fall somewhere inbetween.

My words are often disregarded or not believed, but people don't usually assume I'm intentionally lying. It is often a problem when I state my feelings or needs. I must not do so in a way that commands attention and respect. Or they can't imagine how I could possibly feel that way so they assume I don't and come up with some other explanation for my behavior.
 
royinpink said:
Not sure what to put on your poll, because I fall somewhere inbetween.

My words are often disregarded or not believed, but people don't usually assume I'm intentionally lying. It is often a problem when I state my feelings or needs. I must not do so in a way that commands attention and respect. Or they can't imagine how I could possibly feel that way so they assume I don't and come up with some other explanation for my behavior.
Click to expand...
That's a rather common failing among humans, I've noticed. They don't understand something, so they automatically write it off as being something else entirely.
My grandmother is like this, she tends to attribute my A.S. (Asperger's Syndrome) as being a "lifestyle choice" instead of an invisible issue. The same goes for my insomnia that pops up from time to time, she thinks that's a "habit". The worst thing is, she used to be a nurse, so she should know better than that, but oh well.
 
I voted 'yes', because there is a good number of people who do think I lie. However, the people who matter most, realize I'm telling the truth and that I'm just a little weird. The people who shrug me off as a liar usually aren't worth being around anyways.

I lie sometimes. Usually white lies to make people feel better, but for the most part, I avoid them 'cause I don't think I'm good at them and I think my nervousness shows.
 
I'm quite the opposite, when I was younger I found I was quite good at lying and didn't really feel bad about it, the worst combination and a lot of the times, people assume I can't like (well) since I have AS which is silly and wrong.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom