Trouble getting simple adult tasks done.

[Utini]

What pushes you to finally go in and get something done or make an appointment? How do you get things done in places you are not familiar with? I hate asking people for help with these things, especially when they don't completely understand.

Just got back from driving somewhere to get my oil changed but I got myself all anxious and worked up thinking about it on the drive there and turned around. It's embarrassing. The place I used to go to shut down so I am left finding somewhere new. It's the kind of place where you drive in and they do it instantly too.

I like to know what all is going to happen or what I should do to avoid getting staff mad or thinking I'm an idiot. I want to know what questions will be asked. I have had people working in customer service frustrated with me before. When I get more worked up I get more quiet and don't know how to answer simple questions because I get anxious and want to flee. It took me so much strength to go back to the dentist this year, I finally did it but it took severe tooth pain for me to make an appointment.

Nobody close to me truly understands how I feel when I enter somewhere new or meet new people. They are aware that I am uncomfortable with most things but don't know the extent. Those that are close to me still have this belief that it will go away. If I was going to get better at all of this, it would have happened by now, I'm 31. I thought about getting a comfort dog but I'm worried about the process and making an effort to convince people that I need it. Can't think of anything else.

 

[WereBear]

I use a technique I call "stretching out the time frame."

In the short term, running an errand is sucky. But the consequences of NOT running that errand will suck even more.

 

[Progster]

What pushes you to finally go in and get something done or make an appointment? How do you get things done in places you are not familiar with?

Necessity. I have social anxiety and often have to make myself do things that I don't want to do. I psych myself up to it. Once I get used to something, it's not so bad.

People who are naturally sociable and extrovert have a hard time understanding why things like talking to strangers, asking for help, talking on the phone can provoke so much anxiety.

 

[Streetwise]

What pushes you to finally go in and get something done or make an appointment? How do you get things done in places you are not familiar with? I hate asking people for help with these things, especially when they don't completely understand.

Just got back from driving somewhere to get my oil changed but I got myself all anxious and worked up thinking about it on the drive there and turned around. It's embarrassing. The place I used to go to shut down so I am left finding somewhere new. It's the kind of place where you drive in and they do it instantly too.

I like to know what all is going to happen or what I should do to avoid getting staff mad or thinking I'm an idiot. I want to know what questions will be asked. I have had people working in customer service frustrated with me before. When I get more worked up I get more quiet and don't know how to answer simple questions because I get anxious and want to flee. It took me so much strength to go back to the dentist this year, I finally did it but it took severe tooth pain for me to make an appointment.

Nobody close to me truly understands how I feel when I enter somewhere new or meet new people. They are aware that I am uncomfortable with most things but don't know the extent. Those that are close to me still have this belief that it will go away. If I was going to get better at all of this, it would have happened by now, I'm 31. I thought about getting a comfort dog but I'm worried about the process and making an effort to convince people that I need it. Can't think of anything else.

Think about with the car can you change the Oil yourself ?! if you can't what will happen if it isn't done?! ,it's the saying 'the lesser of two evils!'
I remember the bigger evil every time so I confront the smaller(lesser) evil .
like going to the chemist (pharmacy)( drugstore )this morning !waiting for the taxi !speaking to the woman I can't stand in the chemist!!!!.
remembering that I had to walk back from the doctor's surgery because of the doctors uncaring attitude !!!, having a terrible spasm in my foot because of walking and having terrible cramp in my legs and thinking I was able to get a taxi there and back today what a difference.

 

[the_tortoise]

I script for most things. I'll make a plan, prepare a script for it, and then carry it out. On occasion there will be a complication, but for the most part it helps to minimize anxiety and problems in the long-run.

Wherever possible, I script for problems and multiple possibilities....I have a plan B (and/r C, D.....) my scripts are also flow-charts. When I can't figure out anything about the other person's side of the script, I try to ask for help.

Support and confidence help me the most. Getting to the point where I have nothing to lose no matter how badly something goes wrong is also quite useful sometimes, but not always.

 

[Gritches]

One handy trick is that if you're worried about sounding dumb, you can totally disarm it by starting your sentence with "So, this is gonna sound kinda dumb, but..." The dangerous thing about saying something dumb is that the other person presumes you know exactly what you're talking about and it's them who isn't understanding. But if you set it up where the other person knows they might have to work with you a bit here, they'll usually do so gladly.

But as for the topic of motivation: I actually have a "motivation wall" right next to me with motivational strategies taped to the wall. I'll share one with you that might help with making appointments, something you mentioned:

First, make the decision that you're going to do it right now. Don't worry, the next part makes that easier. When you've decided that you're going to make that appointment, have the phone right in front of you, and do the following:

1. Think about what it is you need to accomplish

2. Don't worry about what's holding you back; instead, focus on the positive things that will happen once you get it done.

3. Write down exactly three potential positive outcomes of whatever it is you're about to do - don't skip this part, and remember, do it right before you make the call or walk into the shop or whatever, never in advance.

4. Finally, imagine the relief you'll feel once that task has been accomplished.

The above is one of my processes for getting motivated to do something I don't really want to do, or that will be difficult/stressful. Especially the part about writing down exactly three potential positive outcomes in the seconds and minutes before doing the task is critical. Hope that helps, best of luck

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

One handy trick is that if you're worried about sounding dumb, you can totally disarm it by starting your sentence with "So, this is gonna sound kinda dumb, but..." The dangerous thing about saying something dumb is that the other person presumes you know exactly what you're talking about and it's them who isn't understanding. But if you set it up where the other person knows they might have to work with you a bit here, they'll usually do so gladly.

But as for the topic of motivation: I actually have a "motivation wall" right next to me with motivational strategies taped to the wall. I'll share one with you that might help with making appointments, something you mentioned:

First, make the decision that you're going to do it right now. Don't worry, the next part makes that easier. When you've decided that you're going to make that appointment, have the phone right in front of you, and do the following:

1. Think about what it is you need to accomplish

2. Don't worry about what's holding you back; instead, focus on the positive things that will happen once you get it done.

3. Write down exactly three potential positive outcomes of whatever it is you're about to do - don't skip this part, and remember, do it right before you make the call or walk into the shop or whatever, never in advance.

4. Finally, imagine the relief you'll feel once that task has been accomplished.

The above is one of my processes for getting motivated to do something I don't really want to do, or that will be difficult/stressful. Especially the part about writing down exactly three potential positive outcomes in the seconds and minutes before doing the task is critical. Hope that helps, best of luck

I don't want to appear rude about the motivational wall etc.

But all of your posts now seem to be about going to the restroom..

Point 4.

 

[Streetwise]

What pushes you to finally go in and get something done or make an appointment? How do you get things done in places you are not familiar with? I hate asking people for help with these things, especially when they don't completely understand.

Just got back from driving somewhere to get my oil changed but I got myself all anxious and worked up thinking about it on the drive there and turned around. It's embarrassing. The place I used to go to shut down so I am left finding somewhere new. It's the kind of place where you drive in and they do it instantly too.

I like to know what all is going to happen or what I should do to avoid getting staff mad or thinking I'm an idiot. I want to know what questions will be asked. I have had people working in customer service frustrated with me before. When I get more worked up I get more quiet and don't know how to answer simple questions because I get anxious and want to flee. It took me so much strength to go back to the dentist this year, I finally did it but it took severe tooth pain for me to make an appointment.

Nobody close to me truly understands how I feel when I enter somewhere new or meet new people. They are aware that I am uncomfortable with most things but don't know the extent. Those that are close to me still have this belief that it will go away. If I was going to get better at all of this, it would have happened by now, I'm 31. I thought about getting a comfort dog but I'm worried about the process and making an effort to convince people that I need it. Can't think of anything else.

you should only be away from a dog about an hour any more than that and they start to suffer psychologically, they are pack animals ,if you want a ticking time bomb leave a dog alone in a house for hours on end.
my dog still suffered and I was with it nearly every single day !all day !they are very intelligent .
Watch the dog whisperer on NatGeo that will give you an idea of what it's like to have a dog with you .

 

[Gritches]

I don't want to appear rude about the motivational wall etc.

But all of your posts now seem to be about going to the restroom..

Point 4.

Wanna know what's even better? I just threw my back out, so now going to the restroom is actually a pretty big problem.

 

[WereBear]

you should only be away from a dog about an hour any more than that and they start to suffer psychologically, they are pack animals ,if you want a ticking time bomb leave a dog alone in a house for hours on end.

Why I believe in two or more dogs!