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...trouble with motivation??...

Hi everyone. Do any of you struggle with motivation. There are many things I want to do in my life, & it's almost as though I sabotage achieving those things because I can't get motivated! It seems to be an ongoing struggle, which is worsened when there are a lot of things I want to achieve - then I feel overwhelmed. But the aim of achieving these things is to improve the quality of my life. (eg. reading, going to gym, getting 'out there' in an effort to meet new people, numerous jobs & painting around the house). Sometimes it's all just too much and I find myself not doing any of these things at all, then become consumed with guilt. I seem to have to pre-plan so much, almost like I'm psyching myself up to do the thing I want to achieve. Any comments on this scenario??

Thanks Cheryl.
 
Take things slow. Don't overwhelm yourself. Get used to one thing at a time.

If I were to plan to go to the gym, meet with people, and have a dozen projects going on, I just know I'll do everything either just a little bit or not at all. I suppose focus can be good to motivate yourself.
 
Hi everyone. Do any of you struggle with motivation. There are many things I want to do in my life, & ... I can't get motivated! It seems to be an ongoing struggle, ... Sometimes it's all just too much and I find myself not doing any of these things at all, then become consumed with guilt. I seem to have to pre-plan so much, almost like I'm psyching myself up to do the thing I want to achieve. Any comments on this scenario??

Thanks Cheryl.

Oh yes, I have many comments on this scenario. Number one, it sounds just like me. It takes me forever to get going on something, and I find every distraction in the book to avoid beginning a project. Lord knows, I'm completely overwhelmed with all the things that need doing, but if I could just make myself accomplish one task a day, I'd be so much better off. Like you, though, I am consumed with guilt over procrastinating. I do have to pre-plan as well, not so much to psych myself up, but to locate potential points for failure in my undertakings. I believe if I know where I'm likely to fail, I'll be prepared for it, and then it won't discourage me as much.

Both King_Oni and Voltekka make some very good points. I agree that multi-tasking is a recipe for failure, especially for Aspies (or maybe just this Aspie). But sometimes it's unavoidable. I've had to discipline myself to carrying a daily planner and using it faithfully. For some reason, this takes great effort. I don't know why. It really does help when I do that. I just follow the plan step by step without thinking, which alleviates a lot of stress. Still, the most important part is just to get moving on the project. As my father used say, "Do anything, even if it's wrong." :)
 
Yes. It's a combination of depression, and poor executive functioning and alexithymia that is caused by my NVLD. When I have a big project, for example, a major house cleaning project, I never know where to start, and simply get overwhelmed and shut down. It's proven a huge problem lately.
 
Cheryl, just wondering: Do you tend to put off beginning a project simply because you think (or fear) you won't have sufficient time to complete it? That trips me up a lot. If I think I won't be able to finish a project, and that it'll just be hanging around half done indefinitely, I have a hard time getting motivated to work on it at all.
 
A lack of motivation? Definetally me. I'm a horrible procrastinator. I will plan every minute detail of a project and make up a day schedule as to what i will do each day but i will take a good 50% of that time frame, if not 70%, to actually get started on said project. The only reason i make my bed every morning now is because i forced it to become routine. I forced myself to do it - just working on that one thing, out of the dozen or so things i need to work on. Eventually after a week it became normal, something that felt good doing because then i felt productive. I find that if i try to do more than one new thing in my life at a time, i just burn out within a day or two.
 
I'm having some people over Fri evening and I need to clean, but I'm procrastinating until tomorrow. It's like I need a time limit in order to push me to do my tasks. My reasoning for not doing all the cleaning tonight is that by doing it the night before then it will be cleaner than if I did it two days before the event. Am I a doofus or what?! :p I'm either a doofus or a professional procrastinator!
 
I'm having some people over Fri evening and I need to clean, but I'm procrastinating until tomorrow. It's like I need a time limit in order to push me to do my tasks. My reasoning for not doing all the cleaning tonight is that by doing it the night before then it will be cleaner than if I did it two days before the event. Am I a doofus or what?! :p I'm either a doofus or a professional procrastinator!

I'm the same way. Its like i need the pressure of time to get started but then of course i'm upset because of the pressure but whatever. Lol i'm the same way about cleaning, i put it off until it *has* to be done. Like my laundry that i should be doing tonight. I'm the worst with doing my laundry. I gave myself a self proclaimed laundry day in hopes it would get done at a decent, very convenient time but nooo it still doesn't get done until very inconvenient times in the evening the day before i need my work uniform. But really, with cleaning for an event i see no point cleaning it until the day before - and some things, the day of. It'll just get dirty again haha.
 
I'm the same way. Its like i need the pressure of time to get started but then of course i'm upset because of the pressure but whatever. Lol i'm the same way about cleaning, i put it off until it *has* to be done. Like my laundry that i should be doing tonight. I'm the worst with doing my laundry. I gave myself a self proclaimed laundry day in hopes it would get done at a decent, very convenient time but nooo it still doesn't get done until very inconvenient times in the evening the day before i need my work uniform. But really, with cleaning for an event i see no point cleaning it until the day before - and some things, the day of. It'll just get dirty again haha.

I always wonder why we make such a big deal out of laundry these days - it's not like we're having to use a washboard!
 
When left to my own devices, I usually don't have a problem. I make a schedule, stick to it, and am quite productive. When other people are around, it goes right out the window. The constant distractions make it hard for me to concentrate and they generally get in the way.
 
Excuse my previous post. I was in a very hyper mood and the quality of it was poor so let me do a more quality post.

About the motivation problem, if i am correct, do you feel as if all of these goals kind of feel overwhelming because you can't manage them and when you don't finish your goals do you feel highly guilty and have this very persistent feeling that kind of says "I have to do this!" but when you try for say a week you fail and feel very De-motivated by it due to being overwhelming and realizing that you have many other tasks so that when your doing one task you think about the other?

Does it kind of feel like this loop of conflict where you get psyched up and try to do it only to be disappointed and De-motivated?

As AsheSkyler had said, i think its best you keep a schedule and get rid of all distractions that will probably divert your attention away from your goals. Also split up your goals into tiny chunk able-goals so that you can reach them a lot quicker and because it makes it more clearer about what you're doing.

For example, say i have to clean my room, i would usually split into a sections that are quite chunk-able and quick to do:

Goal: Clean room:

1. Collect all the rubbish (wrappers,left-over food,bags of chips etc.) and put in a bin bag.

2. Throw the rubbish outside of the house to the big rubbish skip.

3. Sort out clothes by separating dirty clothes and clean clothes.

4. Put the the dirty clothes in the washing basket ready for me to wash later on.

5. Bring the washing basket downstairs.

6. In my room, fold and organize the clean clothes on to my shelves and etc.

7. Sort out and organize my desk by getting any devices,paperwork,folders etc of it.

8. Clean the desks using anti-bacteria wipes with a wet towel to finish the rinsing process.

9. Once finished, organize the paperwork,devices,folders each into a separate category on the desk.

10. Put everything off from the floor and Vacuum your room.

11. Return everything you put off from the floor back-down.

12. Dust any areas that seem to have a lot of dust on them (shelves,monitors,tables etc.).

13. Put all the equipment you used away.

FINAL: Enjoy! You successfully did it!

I would also avoid multi-tasking like the plague, it stresses you out more, distracts you, prevents you from finish the goals/tasks you want to finish/accomplish. When you're doing one of your goals, focus only one at a time, don't switch to a different task, set up a rule that says you cannot leave this task once you have finished it. Single-task a lot more rather than multi-task.

I would also recommend to have 20 minutes of meditation each day and i would also recommend trying to self-control yourself a lot more and make sure you can spot what and why you're struggling with what you are doing.

Also keep a notebook with you all the times so you can quickly check your schedule and add any extra notes if possible.
 
I'm really struggling to get motivated right now to start an essay. I'm not one to sit down and type one up. It's a burden as I have a short attention span when it comes to this. Only have 'til Thursday to get them done, but I'm working all weekend and Monday, that it's almost impossible. :( I've had some toast and a strong coffee to get me started and practice in typing here. A rant might help. Been thinking about making up my own personal rota, but don't think I'll bother as studying only comes when it suits me and not round a schedule.
 
Have went to student services to offload my anxiety and have been given the time extended and support for next week. Feeling relieved. :)
I see the brief as a guide line. They can't expect all students to have it done in a tight space of time who have learning difficulties. Final submission is the 30th Oct, so as long as it's done for then, it doesn't really matter about the first draft being in 'late'.
 
I multitask just fine, as long as none of the tasks involve more than a single aspect of communication. Otherwise whatever I'm doing may go downhill from that point.
 

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