Trust in the cyber spaces.

[Gomendosi]

How do you trust anybody online.
In my opinion it is easier to trust in person because they assume you each have some degree of social skill and they will usually conduct themselves to certain physical and mental standards, theoretically, but no such thing can take place in cyberspace.

You could not tell them anything personal but at some point reciprocity is in order and expected, how do you open up if you remain closed.
You could ask for confirmation such as information stored online, but this would make them give personal details they may not want to either.
You could ask for visual proof but they may not want to give it and they don't have to, but they could fake it anyway, a picture from a catalogue.
You could ask to speak to the person but that means leaving the safety of the site and possibly giving away personal information you may not want to.
And lastly, you could ask to meet in person but if you only just met that would be creepy so you just have to talk and hope they are not some person in prison, or somebody conducting an experiment to see how gullible people are, or a hacker trying to weasel you out of your life savings.

The internet is the ultimate in fantasy tools because on the net you can be anybody you want to be and the same goes for everybody else, so how do you trust anybody enough to become friends?

 

[King_Oni]

In short; You don't trust anyone... but take your chances.

 

[Ereth]

It takes me a very, very long time to trust someone online. Perhaps it's because my generally trusting nature has gotten me into so much trouble offline.

 

[Geordie]

A qualifier - you trust a person because onlime reviews state s/he does what he preaches

 

[Judge]

I suppose I'd prefer to deal with people online in a capacity where real trust wasn't required. Where potential consequences can be marginalized. I don't think I could bear to be "catfished" again.

 

[King_Oni]

I suppose I'd prefer to deal with people online in a capacity where real trust wasn't required. Where potential consequences can be marginalized. I don't think I could bear to be "catfished" again.

But where are these places?

I mean, yes, you can stay away from dating websites. But I feel that anywhere I interact with people (and I'll assume they are real people at the other side of the connection and not some kind of AI I'm talking to) there's a degree of trust or hoping there is a form of trust to expect.

 

[wyverary]

Honestly? I have simply accepted this. I don't really view online relationships on an equivalency with viz-a-viz "real life" relationships; to me, they are different—in some ways online friendship can be more intimate, but not in the same way as real-life...it's easy to exchange words online, you can think about what you're saying, and even if it is intant messaging, you can still review those words before you hit "enter." Face-to-face friendships are more...raw, I suppose you could say. The two parties are seeing more of each other in a way that doesn't happen with just words. That added dynamic requires a whole other level of trust and comfort with the person (especially for Aspies). These divisions are such that I do put a great deal of effort into keeping my "wired" and "offline" lives separate, and it is entirely possible that I *am* a rather different person online than off, even if it's not something of which I am overtly conscious.

So, to me, "trust" means different things depending on which context we are speaking of. Because offline friendships are so different and don't depend on that extra need for ease and comfort with being in each others' physical presence, trust is a little LESS important.

 

[Judge]

But where are these places?

I mean, yes, you can stay away from dating websites. But I feel that anywhere I interact with people (and I'll assume they are real people at the other side of the connection and not some kind of AI I'm talking to) there's a degree of trust or hoping there is a form of trust to expect.

You just answered your own question. Trust comes in degrees. Not an all-or-nothing conditional. You ration it out accordingly, wherever you are in cyberspace.

When I say "real trust" I mean the ultimate amount of trust one is willing to extend to another. Not trust in any absolute form. I might be prepared to stick my neck out for someone I don't know to my satisfaction, but not to the extent where I can lose my head in the process. So you parcel out trust in degrees you see fit.

I made some classic mistakes for a person to catfish me. I won't make them again. It doesn't mean being in a permanent state of total distrust, but it does make me vigilant to watch out for signs that someone is not being honest with me. Something only someone burned in such a manner can really understand.

So, to me, "trust" means different things depending on which context we are speaking of. Because offline friendships are so different and don't depend on that extra need for ease and comfort with being in each others' physical presence, trust is a little LESS important.

Good point. If you aren't looking for any deep emotional connection with another, such concerns aren't as important.

 

[Licorice]

I don't believe in the "stranger danger" culture that says people, especially online, are all dangerous and must never be spoken to out of "protected" zones in the first place. Caution is important whether it's online or offline, but every pedophile, criminal, and killer online has an offline self that you're just as likely to meet and they're perfectly capable of deceiving you face to face. Many crimes are also committed by people the victim already knows.

 

[Gomendosi]

If somebody offers me friendship and I go into my overprotective mode, clam up, show no signs of being agreeable yet they manage to break through to me through perseverance and persistance. How then can a friendship exist if in order to go forward you have to share of yourself, the very thing you didnt want to do in the first place.
It comes down to greed, do I need a friend enough that I will drop my walls yet again, is being hurt again less likely this time. Or if I am more cautious this time do I risk killing the friendship with my distrust before it gets a chance to blossom. How do you say my friendship is literally so awesome that I require definitive proof of your existance before I can let you in to my life, but by the same token, anybody that feels your friendship is worth it would not be offended by your needs for proof would they?
Lastly, is a friendship any good if it requires proof that either person is who they say they are in the first place which begs to the topic of the thread itself, how does one trust another in an electronic medium?

 

[Judge]

Maybe the reality is only the hope of never knowing if someone is being dishonest with you. Sad to think that may be ultimately the only real answer to such a quandary. Unless perhaps one wants to argue that honesty doesn't have to be a requirement of an online friendship any more than a commitment to fidelity in a marriage. It does appear open to debate. I suppose it's just a matter of what one values on a very personal basis, and whether it's compatible with another.