Trying to become calm around bees

[Lactobuzzillus]

I had crippling apiphobia as a child, but as I learned more about bees over the years, I gained a respect for them. They are now one of my main hyperfixations.

I really enjoy watching them. Even so, their erratic movement and the buzz of their wings freaks me out on a primal level. I start walking away in a panic whenever one follows me or gets into my personal space. I’ve been trying to face that fear so I can study them up close.

Watching bee videos with headphones on seems to have desensitized me to the sound of buzzing, at least while watching the videos. I’m not sure if it has helped with real-life buzzing.

I had a couple of encounters with bees recently, too—I could have appreciated them more if I wasn’t afraid, but I did push myself to get out of my comfort zone. The first time, a little one landed on my shoulder when I was out for a walk in my neighborhood. It rested there for quite a while. The second time, I found a carpenter bee in a gas station parking lot. It was having trouble flying, and I got the courage to pick it up with a stick and take it to a patch of grass. Upon closer inspection, it was a male—I could have picked it up with my hands since male bees don’t have stingers, but I didn’t have the guts. I wish I had.

It’s kind of ironic how I can be so interested in something and so nervous around them at the same time. Although I guess a similar thing happens around the opposite sex. Lol.

Have you ever managed to get rid of a phobia or fear? What worked for you?

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

Just realize that they don't want to sting you. If they sting you, they die a painful death. They will only sting if you are threatening their hive. Thrashing and swatting is how you scare them.

They are friendly, social creatures, and very curious and gentle.

I enjoy it when bees land on me and sort of crawl around, curiously. It's especially funny if I'm wearing a floral print and the bee tries to pollinate my shirt or dress.

They're chill little creatures. Actually, most domestic bees are stingerless and live solitary lives.

In the extremely rare event that you ever do get stung, do not pinch the stinger and pull it out. That will inject the venom. A mere, light flick of the stinger out of your body will prevent most of the venom from being injected. Homeopathic Apis Mellifica 30c (honeybee venom) will prevent and reduce most of the swelling and itch.

If you don't have the homeopathic remedy, some hydrocortisone cream and oral benadryl will help. But I find a nice plaster of mud, allowed to dry on the skin, cools the itch and pulls out the venom and swelling.

Also if you ever get stung, the most merciful thing to do is to step on the bee right afterward. Her organs have been ruptured, in an attempt to save her hive. She needs to be euthanized, so she doesn't suffer needlessly.

They are wonderful, fascinating, kind and social creatures. I've only been stung as a very young child, twice I think. Once I accidentally stepped on one with bare feet, and the other time, I was thrashing around. My father taught me to just stand still, and observe them- enjoying the close one on one time spent with a wild creature. And after that, I've never been stung.

 

[Forest Cat]

About bees, I have noticed that bees tend to quickly fly away if I simply blow on them. So if one comes in the window for example, I blow on it and it turns around and flies out the window. I have wondered if it could be something in our breath, like CO2, or maybe just the heat, that to the bees is a signal of danger, a predator close by. But anyway, I just wanted to share the blowing-on-bees tip.

 

[Au Naturel]

About bees, I have noticed that bees tend to quickly fly away if I simply blow on them. So if one comes in the window for example, I blow on it and it turns around and flies out the window. I have wondered if it could be something in our breath, like CO2, or maybe just the heat, that to the bees is a signal of danger, a predator close by. But anyway, I just wanted to share the blowing-on-bees tip.

Blowing on a bee is exactly the right thing to do. A puff of wind does not frighten a bee. OTOH, swatting and swinging at them is interpreted as you being a threat to the hive.

I go for long hikes in the wild. (Sometimes I'm not wearing much. ) Sometimes I pass by a bush or tree that is full of honeybees. I give it as much space as practical, but it doesn't frighten me. I just walk by slowly and don't try to swat them away if they try to investigate me. There are places along the border where Africanized bees are a problem. I'd be more concerned there. But the European honeybee is about as gentle as it gets.

Scraping a stinger out is the correct method of removal. You want to do this ASAP because it continues pumping venom into you for a minute after the sting. Since most people don't carry a knife, a credit card or even a fingernail will go in a pinch. You don't grab it because that will squeeze the venom into the stinger. This only applies to honeybees because wasps, hornets, and other stinging insects don't leave a stinger behind.

If you are allergic, antihistamines and cortisone are the way to go. Some people swell up if they get stung. If you are dangerously allergic, you need an epinephrine injector and then get to the doctor ASAP. That's life-threatening. Fortunately, beestings only hurt me for an hour and then not inordinantly so.

 

[AutistAcolyte]

i dont usually touch bees, but when i see them i do get very close with my phone to take pictures.

based on the other posts in this thread, others are much more knowledgeable about bees than i am, but i find most animals very interesting and have always been interested in nature. my favorite books when i was young were about all kinds of animals.

i used to be aftaid of flying insects, but interacting with bumblebees and fig eater beetles helped me get over that for the most part (though they do still surprise me sometimes if they come out of nowhere)

 

[Uppity Creek]

I once lived next to a farm where, some years,, they would plant cucumbers. Those years a beekeeper would place many hives along the edge of the field, also near an irrigation pond. I liked to walk back there, and it was intimidating at first when the bees showed up. It didn't take long to figure out, they didn't care about me. They were either traveling back and forth to blossoms, or to get fresh water. They just buzzed around me. And, there were a lot of them! Quite an amazing sound, and a distinct smell.

Someone in the local paper is selling bee colonies, for delivery in May. I've thought of getting a hive and putting it in the backyard, but I wouldn't want to go through the whole beekeeper business with protective gear and such. If I could just set it and forget it, sure. Not sure what my neighbors would think, though.

Last year or maybe the year before there was a busy road with flowering vegetables on both sides of the highway. Hives were on one side, and I felt terrible because you couldn't drive through there without killing a half dozen. Hopefully the keeper can find a better way in the future.

 

[Jeff T]

Over at this place I only see bees when the eucalypts bloom. Imagine 80' trees covered with 'blossoms'! The air thrums with the deep tone of the mass of bees flying giddily. They're too busy to bother stinging anybody, even the equines when they plow through the low branches.
The paper wasps here are pretty mellow for wasps, a great many nests form each year. The bald-faced hornets seem just curious.
The yellowjackets, however, are something else. I accidentally 'found' an underground nest and got stung over 50 times.
When I was younger the flying bugs and spiders caused a fair amount of anxiety. A wasp sting would cause great tiredness and sleep. As I have gotten older, stings bites and poisonous plants don't cause issues anymore.

 

[Au Naturel]

I had crippling apiphobia as a child, but as I learned more about bees over the years, I gained a respect for them. They are now one of my main hyperfixations.

I really enjoy watching them. Even so, their erratic movement and the buzz of their wings freaks me out on a primal level. I start walking away in a panic whenever one follows me or gets into my personal space. I’ve been trying to face that fear so I can study them up close.

Watching bee videos with headphones on seems to have desensitized me to the sound of buzzing, at least while watching the videos. I’m not sure if it has helped with real-life buzzing.

I had a couple of encounters with bees recently, too—I could have appreciated them more if I wasn’t afraid, but I did push myself to get out of my comfort zone. The first time, a little one landed on my shoulder when I was out for a walk in my neighborhood. It rested there for quite a while. The second time, I found a carpenter bee in a gas station parking lot. It was having trouble flying, and I got the courage to pick it up with a stick and take it to a patch of grass. Upon closer inspection, it was a male—I could have picked it up with my hands since male bees don’t have stingers, but I didn’t have the guts. I wish I had.

It’s kind of ironic how I can be so interested in something and so nervous around them at the same time. Although I guess a similar thing happens around the opposite sex. Lol.

Have you ever managed to get rid of a phobia or fear? What worked for you?

When I was a little boy, I was absolutely terrified of spiders. At a very young age, I saw a television show where a black widow bit a little boy in his bed, and he nearly died. And then I saw Leo G. Carrol, over a barrel, when Tarantula took to the hills. This sort of thing can leave an impression on a very young child. Somehow, I decided I didn’t want to be afraid of spiders. Maybe it was a huge and stunningly beautiful orb weaver in my grandmother’s raspberry patch that convinced me to overcome my fear. I was amazed by it but couldn't stay near it.

It would have been very easy to stay afraid. Many others shared my fear, and very few would even question it. Others go thru life with the fear of flying or dogs or whatever. It seemed stupid because I knew the world was full of spiders that couldn’t harm me. If I see a dangerous spider, it can’t hurt me. My fear doesn’t help me avoid it if I don’t see it. What good is the fear?

I think most people with "irrational phobias" don't want to overcome them. Overcoming a phobia involves challenging it and subjecting oneself to the fear in limited doses and controlled circumstances. I could have been afraid of not being afraid of spiders and discounted the benefits of not being afraid. That's where a phobia can dig in very deep. Hate to say it, but I was far too logically driven for this to stop me.

It felt limiting. Maybe a minor limit in the grand scheme of things, but a limit nonetheless because there were house spiders, wolf spiders, orb weavers, and daddy longlegs (Pholcidae) everywhere in an old rural house.

I did not want to be afraid of anything. Fear is a self-imposed limitation of freedom. I don’t fear hot stoves. If I feared hot stoves, I’d start to be nervous in the presence of hot stoves. As I approached closer, my fear would become more intense. I would not be able to cook, just as I couldn't gaze upon the magnificent orb weaver.

Fear short circuits logic. It is physiological as much as psychological. Not touching a hot stove because you know it will burn you is not fear. It’s prudence. I am not frightened of hot stoves; I respect them. Spiders needed to be in the same category.

I started out by learning everything I could get my hands on. Back in the day, there were these things called libraries, and they have these things called books. Today you'd just Google it and try to avoid the sites that were just clickbait. After that, I sat and watched whatever spider happened to be nearby. Over time I moved closer. If I felt a twinge of fear, I let it flow over me and then told it who was in charge. When this settled down, I moved closer. While I did this, I studied the little critter. Then I started catching flies and feeding them. Familiarity neutralizes fear. That is how you make a phobia go extinct.

Today I'm the one who rescues the spider stuck in the sink to put it safely outside. Or let a friend's tarantula crawl all over me. I may kill any widows I see in heavily trafficked areas or where pets or children might get into them, but only after thoroughly photographing them.

If I were in Australia, I might not be so laid back. They have some NASTY spiders.

 

[Au Naturel]

Over at this place I only see bees when the eucalypts bloom. Imagine 80' trees covered with 'blossoms'! The air thrums with the deep tone of the mass of bees flying giddily. They're too busy to bother stinging anybody, even the equines when they plow through the low branches.
The paper wasps here are pretty mellow for wasps, a great many nests form each year. The bald-faced hornets seem just curious.
The yellowjackets, however, are something else. I accidentally 'found' an underground nest and got stung over 50 times.
When I was younger the flying bugs and spiders caused a fair amount of anxiety. A wasp sting would cause great tiredness and sleep. As I have gotten older, stings bites and poisonous plants don't cause issues anymore.

Brings back memories. One time, when I was about ten, I was helping my cousin drive cattle into a barn so they could be milked. Actually, he didn't need my help. Actually, they didn't need to be driven because they knew the routine and they wanted to be milked. Cousin liked to hurry them up with his cattle dog, and I liked to pretend to help.

Suddenly, the cows in front of me bolted, a regular stampede. I immediately discovered why. A cow had stepped in a yellowjacket nest. The cows were gone, but I was right there, and the little ^%$#@! decided to take their anger out on me. Don't know how many times I was stung but I was quite a mess. The next day I was fine.

I was old enough to understand what happened logically and didn't fixate on it. If I had been five instead, it might have become a phobia. I had been stung by a wasp at a much earlier age, though. Must have been a paper wasp nest somewhere (Attic? Inside the walls?) because they always ended up at the window screen trying to get out.

 

[Tom]

Yes it is possible. I have been stung maybe 5-6 times. Not sure if that helped in the desensitivity process. But I was very frightened of them at first and the sound was alarming. Having an interest in insects was helpful as was an interest in living things and preserving them. Learning their ways, reading up on them helped by arming me with preknowledge. Generally, don't bother them and they won't bother you. Single's may check you out and buzz around. I usually just then move away and normally they will leave me eventually. If you learn specific species you will learn their individual flight and fight responses and how close you can get and when (it can change with seasons - autumn here is when bees generally are most agressive. ).

 

[SusanLR]

Bees are fascinating and I like being up close looking into a hive.
I think they may be able to detect fear from us like other animals.
If there is no fear, it seems they pay you no attention.
I've found bee trees. Hollow trees with thriving hives and hundreds of bees going in and out. Since I do not fear them, I walk right up to the opening and let them go by my head. It's like I'm not even there to them.

I learned at an early age I was not sensitive to the venom. Always barefooted, I stepped on quite a few when I was a kid. I think I've been stung by most everything that stings and none of them bother me. Even the underground yellowjacket nests.
Spider bites, scorpions, stingray and jelly fish stings. Nothing has ever made me ill.
Never been bitten by a venomous snake or the nasty Australian spiders.

@Au Naturel mentioning fear of spiders: They are the one thing I cannot seem to get rid of a phobia of.
As a child in AZ, my parents taught me to beware of the large widows that were so prevalent. I learned to check outside toys before using them and I wasn't afraid.
When we moved to Missouri, I was sitting on a picnic table and a Daddy Longlegs
crawled through a crack right beside me. Instant fear.
I've done everything I know to get over it and it doesn't work.
Worked my way up to an offer of holding a tarantula and I thought I could do it.
At the last second, nope.

 

[Outdated]

I think I've been stung by most everything that stings and none of them bother me.

I'm the same, been stung and bitten by almost everything except snakes. A wasp sting on me shows less of a mark than some people's reactions to mosquitoes. I did have a nasty concern from a spider bite once but that was because of infection, not venom.

I have a real resentment of European Honey Bees, they are displacing and killing off our native bees which make sweeter honey and don't have stings. We also have a few species of flightless bees.

 

[Mary Terry]

We don't mow the yards or clip the pastures until the first week of June every year. That allows the wildflowers to bloom and to feed the early pollinators. The day will come where society views the chemically green, poison-laced lawns as anti-environment as a nuclear waste dump. That day can't come soon enough for me.

We kept bees when I was growing up. It is a lot of work, about twice a year. You have to harvest the honey and install new combs in each hive. You also have to monitor the hives for disease and predators of bees. There is a group of beekeepers in my area who like to place their hives on rural land. I've been thinking about contacting them and offering our land for hive sites. We never use poisons or weed control chemicals, etc. All I'd want in return is a couple of jars of honey each year.

I was once stung by over 40 bumblebees after my little brother and I accidentally stirred up a nest that was under a farm shed. He ran to a nearby pond and dove underwater. I ran screaming for home with a cloud of bees behind me, where my mother hauled me into the house and used paper towels to pull them out of my hair. She took me to the hospital for a dose of epinephrine. My eyes were swollen shut for two days. It was awful. But strangely, I have no fear of bees and enjoy watching them. I don't like the poisonous spiders here - black widows and brown recluses, among others - so I'm careful whenever I'm in a location where spiders like to live.

 

[Forest Cat]

We don't mow the yards or clip the pastures until the first week of June every year. That allows the wildflowers to bloom and to feed the early pollinators. The day will come where society views the chemically green, poison-laced lawns as anti-environment as a nuclear waste dump. That day can't come soon enough for me.

That's smart, I have also become more aware of that. I have lawns but I now leave a lot of space untouched for the bees and bumblebees and all the other insects.

 

[Au Naturel]

She does use a smoker. That calms them down.