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Trying to make sense of it all

M

Masci

New Member
Sorry if this post is long winded. Still trying to get a handle on this and needed to tell someone.
Last week I finally figured out what has been off with me for the past 40 years of my life... why I don't have any friends (and seem to be fine with it), why I have a hard time keeping up with conversations or understanding verbal instructions, why Im always at a loss for words, why I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in... I'm pretty certain I have Aspergers.
I should mention that I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 12, which I read is not uncommon and does have some overlap. However, I had a suspicion that I was on the spectrum, that I had something more than just ADHD. Due to some "feedback" I received at work last week I needed to find out and ended up taking the Aspie Quiz... I ended up taking it 4 different times, because I wasn't believing what I was seeing. But while i was taking the quiz, it was like watching puzzle pieces of my life come together all at once.
To be honest, the past week has been pretty rough. There have been moments where anxiety and depression have been overwhelming that I can barely move. I've probably have lost at least 10 lbs this week thinking about it. Not trying to be overly dramatic, but I am trying to make sense of it all. Just writing about it helps. Planning to get an official diagnosis, but any information anyone can provide is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
 
Masci said:
Sorry if this post is long winded. Still trying to get a handle on this and needed to tell someone.
Last week I finally figured out what has been off with me for the past 40 years of my life... why I don't have any friends (and seem to be fine with it), why I have a hard time keeping up with conversations or understanding verbal instructions, why Im always at a loss for words, why I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in... I'm pretty certain I have Aspergers.
I should mention that I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 12, which I read is not uncommon and does have some overlap. However, I had a suspicion that I was on the spectrum, that I had something more than just ADHD. Due to some "feedback" I received at work last week I needed to find out and ended up taking the Aspie Quiz... I ended up taking it 4 different times, because I wasn't believing what I was seeing. But while i was taking the quiz, it was like watching puzzle pieces of my life come together all at once.
To be honest, the past week has been pretty rough. There have been moments where anxiety and depression have been overwhelming that I can barely move. I've probably have lost at least 10 lbs this week thinking about it. Not trying to be overly dramatic, but I am trying to make sense of it all. Just writing about it helps. Planning to get an official diagnosis, but any information anyone can provide is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Click to expand...

I too had that "AH HA moment" I was 60 before I even heard of Asperger's Syndrome. I started researching to find out all I could about it. By the time I was 62 I was sure that I was on the spectrum, so I got a diagnosis. To me this was a great relief. It explained so much about my life that I did not know. I still study it a lot, particularly since the DMS-5 changed everything so much. For me, continued research and reading posts here on AC make it a lot easier to make sense of this very complex subject.
 
Well, I can say that knowing is the first step.

It can be scary to suddenly start seeing these results, especially with the stigma surrounding it.

It may be difficult to get a official diagnosis as an adult (or at least I am having trouble finding a doctor to do so) but if you can, I say do it. If you can't, well you can still attend support groups and certainly come to this site for support and help. Also, if you do get diagnosed you can still do that.
 
Self-awareness at any age is the very first step an Aspie can make towards improving their life.

Welcome to AC.
 
Welcome to AC, Masci.

From what I've seen and experienced, discovering ASD as an adult leads a lot of questioning and self reflection. Sometimes, even while there is a great sense of relief, this reflection is coloured by anger or resentment over not being recognised sooner. Why did I have to go through those years of struggle? If only someone had noticed, seen it, told me, not misdiagnosed it, etc.

Then there is dealing with the stigma, as LostInSilentHill wrote.

I'm really glad you have found your answer. Keep reading and posting here on AC. We are all happy to have you. :herb:
 
Thanks everyone for your comments and advice. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one going through this. I plan on sticking around. I've found some great posts on AC which have been very helpful. Thanks again
 
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