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Um... Hello.

Perry Holia Kerrith

Perry Holia Kerrith

Well-Known Member
I'm Perry. I'm... Sixteen (I think), and in the process of being officially diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.

As far as genetic predispositions go, I'm an absolute mess. My mother suffered from chronic depression most of her life, and my father is a reformed alcoholic who has Asperger's and frequent mood-swings. So.

All in all, I think I have a pretty decent life. As many ups as downs. However, the downs can be... Well, pretty dang low. Sometimes I feel like there is nobody in the world who really understands me, who I can be myself around. Sometimes I seem to forget what being myself even means anymore. Other times I slip into a perpetual state of apathy, where I couldn't care less if the world started burning around me. What's worst is when I get angry. Most of the time I don't even know what I'm angry about, just that I have this indomitable urge to crush something with my bare hands. It's an anger that festers like a bad wound, and burns like a fire. And then it grows cold. And that's the scariest part of all, when I've regained full control of my higher thought orders, yet, for a brief moment, wish to employ them all in some brutal plot, with the end goal of inflicting as much pain on the world as I can.

And then it finally passes, and leaves me to wonder on how I can so absolutely hate an aspect of myself.

But, I'm actually far less morose than this article might lead you to believe. As I said, there are as many good days as bad. And as bad as the bad days get, I never truly lose sight of who I am at heart.

Beyond that, I love stories. Books, videogames, movies; anything that can draw me into a different world, and show me what life looks like through another's eyes, is a masterpiece of imagination; the pinnacle of humanity's ability to create. Perhaps that's why I'm an Author. I don't know.

So, I'll be here to provide insight where I can, and meticulously gather information where I can't. I hope you all have a collectively good day; good luck and God bless.
 
Hi Perry! Welcome to Aspies Central.

I sometimes feel sad and afraid that people I have become friends aren't around or are too busy with their own schedules to include me in their activities. This is because they are really awesome people and I miss them terribly. On these sad days, I feel pretty blue on the inside; I don't usually express that on the outside because I don't want to cause a commotion in front of anyone I know because many of them don't understand what it's like to have Asperger syndrome and that it took me years to build strong friendships and develop my social skills. For most of them, it comes easy from what I can tell. The only people to whom I ever truly express how I feel on the inside are my parents because they know first-hand what I've been through and completely understand what I mean when I express my feelings.

Other than that, I'm a pretty happy and outgoing individual who loves to make friends with new people. I hope you also find everything you are looking for here.
 
Welcome! I am curious, have you ever tried any type of meditation or yoga class? It allows you a space to be with other people, but also be focused on yourself...and understand yourself and possibly your anger better. Anger is the easiest emotion to have and display, and if you learn to understand it and communicate with it you might find some answers. :)
 
Jacki Cucinotta said:
Hi Perry! Welcome to Aspies Central.

I sometimes feel sad and afraid that people I have become friends aren't around or are too busy with their own schedules to include me in their activities. This is because they are really awesome people and I miss them terribly. On these sad days, I feel pretty blue on the inside; I don't usually express that on the outside because I don't want to cause a commotion in front of anyone I know because many of them don't understand what it's like to have Asperger syndrome and that it took me years to build strong friendships and develop my social skills. For most of them, it comes easy from what I can tell. The only people to whom I ever truly express how I feel on the inside are my parents because they know first-hand what I've been through and completely understand what I mean when I express my feelings.

Other than that, I'm a pretty happy and outgoing individual who loves to make friends with new people. I hope you also find everything you are looking for here.
Click to expand...

Coming to a forum like this is a great way to find people who understand you. :)
 
Thank you everyone for the welcomes. I apologize for the delay in my response, and feel it merits an addendum.

I have no reliable internet access, and may therefor be inactive for extended periods of time without explanation. My apologies in advance for any inconvenience this may cause.

I believe I'm going to thoroughly enjoy this forum. I wasn't aware such a commune existed, but I believe it is a wonderful idea. Namely since I am under the firm belief that enough people with Asperger's working in cooperation could impose a new world government in... Maybe a few hours.

So, I hope that I can provide valuable insight, and that you all in turn will do the same for me.

Au revoir.
 
Hi Perry, I am 23, self-diagnosed on the Spectrum :)

One thing that helped me a lot growing up was having my own laptop. Until I came to understand my condition, I thought my frequent laptop use (forums, word processors and microsoft excel) was what got me to be the way I am. Now that I know it's a lifetime thing, I understand my laptop is part of my Special Needs. Now that I have a laptop, I can finally communicate in some way, shape or form. I have noone to talk to, so this kind of keeps my heart beating. I have a degree in Electrical Engineering and I can get a day job.
 
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