Cyanide Lollipop
Well-Known Member
I have a close male friend with depression. We had a brief intimate relationship a few months ago that was disastrous, and decided to return to just being friends. Soon after this I realised that I have AS, and a short time later I realised that he probably has it too. Initially I wasn't going to tell him of my suspicions. I told him a bit about me and he said he could relate very well to it but he never seemed to connect the dots about himself. The problem was, every time I tried to build up our friendship, he would unknowingly tear it down. So I explained to him that I suspect he has AS too. I've told him numerous times that this isn't one more problem to add to his huge pile of problems, but it is the key to resolving a great deal of his stress, anxiety and depression. I have offered to support him as he works through this. He has made next to no effort to find out much at all about AS. He has absolutely no idea why or how it affects his friendships and intimate relationships, but these relationships are supposedly very important to him and he gets upset when they cannot be maintained.
I have experienced severe depression in the past and contemplated suicide a few times during that period. When someone told me that they could help me with my chronic pain and illness, I was eager to have it resolved. My depression then went away. I'm really struggling to understand my friend's attitude. I've told him a number of times now that I cannot read him at all and I rely on verbal communication, but he communicates poorly and then gets annoyed with me when I misunderstand him. I've always accepted his criticism graciously and apologised to him. I've also explained how AS impacts upon me. He doesn't seem to understand that his behaviour which led to the misunderstanding is also due to AS. I told him tonight that he needs to understand how AS is affecting his relationships because there are steps he needs to take to maintain those relationships, steps which don't come naturally to him. Now he isn't speaking to me at all.
Can anyone else relate to his position at all? If so, would you please explain it to me. I cannot understand his attitude and it is really damaging our friendship.
I have experienced severe depression in the past and contemplated suicide a few times during that period. When someone told me that they could help me with my chronic pain and illness, I was eager to have it resolved. My depression then went away. I'm really struggling to understand my friend's attitude. I've told him a number of times now that I cannot read him at all and I rely on verbal communication, but he communicates poorly and then gets annoyed with me when I misunderstand him. I've always accepted his criticism graciously and apologised to him. I've also explained how AS impacts upon me. He doesn't seem to understand that his behaviour which led to the misunderstanding is also due to AS. I told him tonight that he needs to understand how AS is affecting his relationships because there are steps he needs to take to maintain those relationships, steps which don't come naturally to him. Now he isn't speaking to me at all.
Can anyone else relate to his position at all? If so, would you please explain it to me. I cannot understand his attitude and it is really damaging our friendship.
