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Understanding one's true nature on the edge of the spectrum

R

Respectful Rev

New Member
Hello everybody! Believe it or not, as a 55-years-old with 30 years of experience in the media, I'm new to forums in general !!!

So I'm very, very interested by and excited about further exploring what it means to live on the edge of the autism spectrum. I came to realize that I was on the spectrum maybe 6 or 7 years ago +/- by reading extensively about it, doing some online tests and what have you. I was always wondering as a kid and as a teenager what was so wrong with me (you know!). And then I muscled my way through learning to act "normal" as a young adult. I slowly became "less weird" as I made my way further into adulthood to the point where today no-one even begins to suspect that I am on the spectrum. But I am getting tired to mask and I know through observation that as one gets older, "typical atypical" traits are coming back with a vengeance. We were called idiots as kids, we're now going to be called senile as we age, right? Anyway, I'm not crying over that, just humoring the situation.

I'm most especially interested in developing conversations with people who have also found out later in life and who are perhaps struggling with "coming out" within their life circles where hardly anyone suspect that they're on the spectrum.
Looking forward to hearing from whoever wants to follow up on the topic. Take good care y'all!
 
welcome to af.png
 
Hello and welcome! I’m pretty sure you will find like-minded folks here who understand you. Hopefully, you will read like the dickens and indulge your curiosity. Folks here have been building the Compendium of the Spectrum!
 
Rodafina said:
Hello and welcome! I’m pretty sure you will find like-minded folks here who understand you. Hopefully, you will read like the dickens and indulge your curiosity. Folks here have been building the Compendium of the Spectrum!
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Thank you. Yes, looking forward to keep exploring, looking for answers, and then for even more questions.
 
I have never been in so Never got out. Never diagnosed. Figured it out for myself in my fifties. still not sure what masking was always just me As the joke goes. People that don't know me call me stranger and those that do call me strange.
 
Respectful Rev said:
Hello everybody! Believe it or not, as a 55-years-old with 30 years of experience in the media, I'm new to forums in general !!!

So I'm very, very interested by and excited about further exploring what it means to live on the edge of the autism spectrum. I came to realize that I was on the spectrum maybe 6 or 7 years ago +/- by reading extensively about it, doing some online tests and what have you. I was always wondering as a kid and as a teenager what was so wrong with me (you know!). And then I muscled my way through learning to act "normal" as a young adult. I slowly became "less weird" as I made my way further into adulthood to the point where today no-one even begins to suspect that I am on the spectrum. But I am getting tired to mask and I know through observation that as one gets older, "typical atypical" traits are coming back with a vengeance. We were called idiots as kids, we're now going to be called senile as we age, right? Anyway, I'm not crying over that, just humoring the situation.

I'm most especially interested in developing conversations with people who have also found out later in life and who are perhaps struggling with "coming out" within their life circles where hardly anyone suspect that they're on the spectrum.
Looking forward to hearing from whoever wants to follow up on the topic. Take good care y'all!
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I see no point in coming out to people who "don't suspect."

One possible benefit to "coming out" is to get assistance in areas where you might be discriminated against or possibly some kind of social welfare assistance. It might be useful in helping someone understand behavior they didn't understand. You'd want to tell a significant other for the purpose of total honesty prior to making a permanent partnership out of it. Possibly you might meet someone who shared an interest.

In general, I find it wise not to tell other people anything like that that they don't have a "need to know." They may have a problem and not handle it well. They may try to take advantage of it. I don't tell everyone people that I'm a nudist, or have depression or arthritis, either. Privacy matters. If I do "come out" about something it is in a caring and accepting circle that has a degree of anonymity. Like maybe this forum.
 
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Welcome. I was diagnosed at age 60 after I kept on being triggered. My friends have suspected for a while. Finally at 71 I started dealing with PTSD and now things have been much better.
 
Welcome!

I've had mixed experiences with self-identifying, and so these days I don't usually do so unless I think that I would be understood, and this most commonly occurs when I'm in the company of others whom I'm pretty sure are likely neurodiverse themselves.
 
I was 49 when I received my official diagnosis and as is echoed so much on here, growing up not knowing and trying to fit in, whilst feeling mostly on the outside. I felt weird, but could not figure out how exactly.

I was in my early 40s when I came across an article about a female who was diagnosed with Aspergers ( which was the first time ever I had come across that word) and as I read, I had the distinct impression that it could be about me, but she was far worse than me ( because I have and still unable to understand myself fully).

Typical with us, became obsessed with Aspergers and found out a lot of interesting facts and was left with: I could be, but may be I am not? Based on the fact, that there were key "symptoms" that I did not have. Montoned voice; bland facial expressions, which I thought were classic signs.

However, I learned that is not actually conclusive. And my diagnostic put me at grade 2 to 3 ie moderate to severe.

Oh and welcome hehehehe
 
Respectful Rev said:
Hello everybody! Believe it or not, as a 55-years-old with 30 years of experience in the media, I'm new to forums in general !!!

So I'm very, very interested by and excited about further exploring what it means to live on the edge of the autism spectrum. I came to realize that I was on the spectrum maybe 6 or 7 years ago +/- by reading extensively about it, doing some online tests and what have you. I was always wondering as a kid and as a teenager what was so wrong with me (you know!). And then I muscled my way through learning to act "normal" as a young adult. I slowly became "less weird" as I made my way further into adulthood to the point where today no-one even begins to suspect that I am on the spectrum. But I am getting tired to mask and I know through observation that as one gets older, "typical atypical" traits are coming back with a vengeance. We were called idiots as kids, we're now going to be called senile as we age, right? Anyway, I'm not crying over that, just humoring the situation.

I'm most especially interested in developing conversations with people who have also found out later in life and who are perhaps struggling with "coming out" within their life circles where hardly anyone suspect that they're on the spectrum.
Looking forward to hearing from whoever wants to follow up on the topic. Take good care y'all!
Click to expand...
Respectful Rev said:
Hello everybody! Believe it or not, as a 55-years-old with 30 years of experience in the media, I'm new to forums in general !!!

So I'm very, very interested by and excited about further exploring what it means to live on the edge of the autism spectrum. I came to realize that I was on the spectrum maybe 6 or 7 years ago +/- by reading extensively about it, doing some online tests and what have you. I was always wondering as a kid and as a teenager what was so wrong with me (you know!). And then I muscled my way through learning to act "normal" as a young adult. I slowly became "less weird" as I made my way further into adulthood to the point where today no-one even begins to suspect that I am on the spectrum. But I am getting tired to mask and I know through observation that as one gets older, "typical atypical" traits are coming back with a vengeance. We were called idiots as kids, we're now going to be called senile as we age, right? Anyway, I'm not crying over that, just humoring the situation.

I'm most especially interested in developing conversations with people who have also found out later in life and who are perhaps struggling with "coming out" within their life circles where hardly anyone suspect that they're on the spectrum.
Looking forward to hearing from whoever wants to follow up on the topic. Take good care y'all!
Click to expand...
Respectul Rev, I have been diagnosed 3 years ago and only now started to think about unmasking. I am really struggling in doing so. Can you share more about how “typical atypical” traits come back as we get older?
 
@Respectful Rev, welcome!

A few thoughts on this topic:

1. @Gerald Wilgus makes some good points on "coming out". You have to pick and choose whom you talk to carefully. Personally, outing myself to my family only resulted in all of them disconnecting with me. I have lost contact with them. I suspect they had plenty of time to "cement a moral diagnosis" of me, and because I didn't exhibit the more severe "autism classic" signs and symptoms, an Asperger's/ASD-1 diagnosis was nothing more than a label and excuse. Now, having said that, I have found that "coming out" to my co-workers and my students has actually been helpful. In this context, they understand that I am autistic prior to them creating some sort of "moral diagnosis" of me, they understand that all these subtle, odd behaviors are part of the condition and not some sort of personality disorder.

2. The research within the context of "geriatric autism" is lacking. However, what little we do know suggests (1) some variants of autism do not experience the normal neuronal loss with age. The brain mass is relatively consistent in adulthood. That seems to be a positive. That said, (2) the autistic brain experiences a significantly higher degree of oxidative stress and immune dysfunction, and over time, can lead to more pronounced geriatric dementia.

Autism, in its various presentations, is a prenatal, genetic, medical condition with secondary "core" psychological and psychiatric signs and symptoms. Some people would like to use the soft, fuzzy, warm language of "neurodiverse", but autism is significantly more than that on several metrics, and as such, that language is not accurate. I will also say that most autistics do not understand their condition from the perspective of the medical model, as it has only been the past 10-15 years that researchers have been targeting this perspective. I have the sense that psychologists are dealing with signs and symptoms, without fully understanding the genetics, anatomy, and physiology of what they are actually dealing with.
That said, if we look at autism from a medical perspective, then it hits home this idea that the brain will often need some special care in order to operate optimally. Diet and eating habits do influence brain function. Physical and mental activity does effect brain health. Dietary supplements may help. Lifestyle influences brain function. So on and so forth. How anyone ages can vary significantly, and it effects not only one's longevity, but the quality of life over time.
 
@Respectful Rev

Maybe start a dedicated thread on "coming out as a mature adult" and/or "masking as a mature adult"?

The forum sees a lot of tactical "problem solving" questions, but (IMO) not so many interesting ones about the bigger picture: "how to get by IRL as an adult on the spectrum".
 
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