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Unethical date

paloftoon

paloftoon

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hey, if a person dated me, but are apparently engaged to their ex now without having told me according to FB, I don't know if I should reach out to the engaged man to ask if they broke up between April - July or not.


He made it seem like he was still interested in dating me through the present basically.

Or, do I just drop it and move on with my own life?
 
Player. Sounds like one. My co-worker accused me of this and she is married to the guy but he has a very bad past. So she constantly doubts him. Or just ask him if you really need to know. You will find out the truth or how good a liar he is. Were you just friends only? Did he talk about the other person to you? Then he did let you know.
 
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My other two options are I ask the boyfriend or I just ask him directly if he's engaged.


I don't feel like any of those options would be wrong. But is it worth the trouble? What am I going to get out of asking my "date" if he's engaged or not?



And it seems like asking his boyfriend, could be getting into his boyfriend's personal business "too much" even though this situation has put me into that space too.

I should also mention that this date had me drive two hours one way to meet him last July (he normally lives one hour away, but he was with his parents temporarily). He also had kidney cancer surgery as well.

I tried to date him up until a few days ago.

He's had the app on at least the whole time until I unmatched him a few days ago. After that, I have no idea and don't want to try to find out.
 
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If he initiates a text with me, I will just ask him if he's engaged/married/taken, and if he says yes, I will tell him that I don't appreciate him intentionally leading me on and never to contact me again.
 
paloftoon said:
If he initiates a text with me, I will just ask him if he's engaged/married/taken, and if he says yes, I will tell him that I don't appreciate him intentionally leading me on and never to contact me again.
Click to expand...
I think this is the best thing to do, he needs to know his actions aren’t appreciated or acceptable if this is the case. Good luck!
 
paloftoon said:
If he initiates a text with me, I will just ask him if he's engaged/married/taken, and if he says yes, I will tell him that I don't appreciate him intentionally leading me on and never to contact me again.
Click to expand...

This. It's possible he just forgot to change his FB status when they broke up. There's not necessarily anything nefarious going on. But it's also possible that he's a shady character looking for some tail on the side.

If you're at all serious about dating this guy, ask. If you're not, move on. No harm no foul, people aren't interested in other people for all kinds of reasons.
 
I forgot to mention that it was just one date. The reason things were so drawn out is because there were all these other reasons that seemed like they could be valid. I didn't want to believe that someone might be lying or exaggerating the truth about important things.

Not that it should make much of a difference, because I'm sure through all that time, he knew he was playing me in some way. At least I wasn't focused on just him, but I am still disgusted nonetheless.
 
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