Unfair Criticism

[KevinMao133]

I don’t know why but people keep pinning the blame towards me, like the only one who’s wrong is me

I’m far from perfect, nor do I want to be perfect

The thing I hated growing up, still hate: double standards. Please if you were to blame me, please blame the other person too. I always believe in order for a conversation to go wrong, both sides has to be responsible, take the blame. It isn’t just one person’s fault

Again, I been falsely accused of so many things that I don’t even want to interact with the world anymore

If that’s what it is, that’s what it is

 

[Crossbreed]

It is true that both parties are fallen people, but you can only fix your part in it.

"A man who has friends must himself be friendly,..." Proverbs 18:24 NKJV

 

[KevinMao133]

It is true that both parties are fallen people, but you can only fix your part in it.

"A man who has friends must himself be friendly,..." Proverbs 18:24 NKJV

right but people keep blaming me for everything. All I ever wanted was fairness. If only they can admit it but they won’t

 

[Slime_Punk]

Some people have a tendency to blame others because it's easier than looking inward and trying to fix their own broken parts (spoiler alert to them: we all have them). If you have the strength and ability to focus inward, you're a step ahead of the game - but keep in mind that some people will never be able to do so.

I try to avoid those types as much as I can, but sometimes there's just no way around it

 

[Judge]

I don’t know why but people keep pinning the blame towards me, like the only one who’s wrong is me

I’m far from perfect, nor do I want to be perfect

The thing I hated growing up, still hate: double standards. Please if you were to blame me, please blame the other person too. I always believe in order for a conversation to go wrong, both sides has to be responsible, take the blame. It isn’t just one person’s fault

Again, I been falsely accused of so many things that I don’t even want to interact with the world anymore

If that’s what it is, that’s what it is

Are you talking about those who are aware of your autism, or mostly those who are not aware at all ?

 

[KevinMao133]

Are you talking about those who are aware of your autism, or mostly those who are not aware at all ?

both. It’s not like people aren’t aware of it, it’s just they don’t care

 

[Judge]

both. It’s not like people aren’t aware of it, it’s just they don’t care

Ironic that I just posted this in another thread:

"I've posted many times over the years here that from my own personal observation, that there are three types of persons we must inevitably deal with when it comes to telling much of anyone that we are on the spectrum of autism.

1) Those very few who want to understand, and will succeed in doing so.
2) A few more, who sincerely want to understand, but will fail.
3) The vast majority, who don't care to understand and will unreasonably insist or demand that we adapt to their point of view on general principle.

Perhaps most importantly we have to accept the logic of numbers. That it may be unrealistic to expect complete understanding of us when we constitute less than two percent of society (according the CDC). In essence there's little incentive for the vast majority to truly care about tiny minorities in a diverse society. Ironically compounded by democracy itself- in which numerical majorities inherently dominate a political, social and neurological landscape."

Under such circumstances more often than not, your only "social defense" is to mask your traits and behaviors in as much as you can. Don't expect a great deal of compassion or understanding from others. Otherwise, expect a lot of ire and rejection over the most benign of social interactions. At least that's been MY experience over a great deal of time. Long before I even knew I was autistic.

Above all, abandon any sense of "fairness" over such things. It's simply not there. Where in your own best interest you must grapple with the reality that on certain levels, all humans can be predators similar to the animal kingdom. In this regard I find it more practical to be a chameleon than a badger. In essence, if and when I choose to drop my traits and behaviors to "be myself", I get into a lot of trouble socially when interacting with neurotypicals. Particularly with those in my tightest social orbit who are aware of my autism- and don't care.

 

[KevinMao133]

The vast majority, who don't care to understand and will unreasonably insist or demand that we adapt to their point of view on general principle.

this. Most people are like that unfortunately. It’s best to not speak much. The second type is much better. Though they fail, they at least try, which is good

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

All throughout high school I was blamed for being bullied. The school psychologist even wrote down that I would cause a disturbance in class and “not accept responsibility” and that I would “blame [my] classmates.” Thing is I was telling the truth but the guilty acted like they were the real victims and never were punished. This woman also wrote down what I had said which was very specific and nothing any student would say unless there was an actual problem and the school ignored it and said that I was the problem. I specifically said that I didn’t want to eat in the cafeteria unless I was in a safe zone because other kids would throw food and garbage at me and I figured out if I sat near the teacher on cafeteria duty then it wouldn’t happen. The fact that I made it clear that I didn’t feel safe to eat lunch in the cafeteria should have been a major red flag that should have been looked into further.

 

[Judge]

this. Most people are like that unfortunately. It’s best to not speak much. The second type is much better. Though they fail, they at least try, which is good

LOL...again I just posted something along such lines in another thread. Maybe the mods should do a thread merge.

"One of the most hurtful things of my existence remains my own cousin who continues to be oblivious to my autism, still expecting me to conform to standards indicative of her kind- and not my own. Where more often than not, the only way to get along with her is to say as little as possible. No matter what we are talking about."

Yeah...quite often it forces us to speak as little as possible to preserve the peace. Sad, but just another truth about an autistic existence. Tragically for some of us here, that's all they have.

 

[Judge]

All throughout high school I was blamed for being bullied. The school psychologist even wrote down that I would cause a disturbance in class and “not accept responsibility” and that I would “blame [my] classmates.” Thing is I was telling the truth but the guilty acted like they were the real victims and never were punished. This woman also wrote down what I had said which was very specific and nothing any student would say unless there was an actual problem and the school ignored it and said that I was the problem. I specifically said that I didn’t want to eat in the cafeteria unless I was in a safe zone because other kids would throw food and garbage at me and I figured out if I sat near the teacher on cafeteria duty then it wouldn’t happen. The fact that I made it clear that I didn’t feel safe to eat lunch in the cafeteria should have been a major red flag that should have been looked into further.

So many of us are often the victim of a single premise. -The "tyranny of a majority".

Guilty in some way for being perceived as "different". Where we may eventually find ways not to stand out in the crowd, or risk such persecution.

 

[Storm Hess]

I don’t know why but people keep pinning the blame towards me, like the only one who’s wrong is me

I’m far from perfect, nor do I want to be perfect

The thing I hated growing up, still hate: double standards. Please if you were to blame me, please blame the other person too. I always believe in order for a conversation to go wrong, both sides has to be responsible, take the blame. It isn’t just one person’s fault

Again, I been falsely accused of so many things that I don’t even want to interact with the world anymore

If that’s what it is, that’s what it is

Are you making yourself a target/victim? If dealing with people is painful, back off for a bit and assess the situation. I do not have any friends...I kind of like it that way. I don't need any extra drama in my life, I have enough already. For me personally, people are too complicated to understand and too exhausting to deal with. You may feel differently.

Assess what's going with your interactions.

 

[AprilR]

If people don't like you they criticize you more i noticed. And people can like or dislike you for the weirdest reason.

If you try to be the kind of person you admire, you won't need their approval. You only need your own approval that way.

 

[Nick12]

I WISH YOU A VERY VERRY HAPPY DAY

 

[KevinMao133]

Are you making yourself a target/victim? If dealing with people is painful, back off for a bit and assess the situation. I do not have any friends...I kind of like it that way. I don't need any extra drama in my life, I have enough already. For me personally, people are too complicated to understand and too exhausting to deal with. You may feel differently.

Assess what's going with your interactions.

maybe. I can’t help. My ego won’t allow me to let things slide. I believe that’s not how the world works. Only if others can stand up and do something, then I won’t have to carry these bums and do everything in my own