"Unsocially Acceptable"(UA) - This is my new Urban term for ASD

[Chance]

You might have to think on the reversal of terms for a second, to get it...

I don't know about everyone else but I'm sort of fed up with the negative stigma of ASD.
I understand it's not going away, but that doesn't mean I have to accept the negative side of all of it. Maybe it's time to start pushing the more positive sides of it...

UA is the name of my new club if anyone wants to join?

UA (Unsocially Acceptable)... The invisible 1% who gave the world nearly every invention it enjoys today. Never underestimate that which you think is less than the rest.

It's sort of fun to blow people mind sometimes... It's like answering them in French or Greek just to see the confused look on their face...

For just a second (if they would notice)... they would notice how I (we) feel most of the time...

I sit around and rewrite songs, movie themes, rearrange words, create different terms,
dream up ad slogans, try and improve on nearly everything I take in...
This is why I try not to sit around too much.

Any one else this sick in the head?

Some fun facts for you
Facts and Statistics - Autism Society

 

[Streetwise]

You might have to think on the reversal of terms for a second, to get it...

I don't know about everyone else but I'm sort of fed up with the negative stigma of ASD.
I understand it's not going away, but that doesn't mean I have to accept the negative side of all of it. Maybe it's time to start pushing the more positive sides of it...

UA is the name of my new club if anyone wants to join?

UA (Unsocially Acceptable)... The invisible 1% who gave the world nearly every invention it enjoys today. Never underestimate that which you think is less than the rest.

It's sort of fun to blow people mind sometimes... It's like answering them in French or Greek just to see the confused look on their face...

For just a second (if they would notice)... they would notice how I (we) feel most of the time...

I sit around and rewrite songs, movie themes, rearrange words, create different terms,
dream up ad slogans, try and improve on nearly everything I take in...
This is why I try not to sit around too much.

Any one else this sick in the head?

Some fun facts for you
Facts and Statistics - Autism Society

Yes I'm part of the sick in the head club

 

[OkRad]

Hehe......I HAVE answered in Greek to people. My cat is named ἀργυρόπεζα. Silver footed. My vet just stared. I smile when I do it because I realize NTs will NEVER feel like we do. If their brain goes "HUH" that is all it goes. For us, we go "HUH?" and then we think and think and think and think.

I like your new club and I am in. I think it is an oxymoron because I think to be unsocial is really unacceptable to the majority, but I am not soically acceptable. Thanks to my tbi, sometimes I don't realize it, so when I do realize, I say to myself, "Well, what if my brain stops realizing it again, as it will! OK then just feel like that now. Just feel like you do when your brain does not even realize you are odd" and I try to make myself feel that way, like I don't know.

I am going to a place right now where people think I am odd. I will post how it goes. I start strong and end up feeling very small. There are a few people in the 2nd place who accept me and I go there after. I wil post and let you know, President of the Club! I will be the VP (a place I will gladly share with anyone )

 

[dragoncat16]

I'm in. @OkRad what is "tbi"?

 

[OkRad]

I'm in. @OkRad what is "tbi"?

Traumatic Brain Injury :-( Havoc on ASD

 

[Chance]

This whole thing was spurred by an incident that just happened to coincide with something I have been learning. It takes some explaining, but I will try to keep it short. I have hinted at it before, but found out much more since...

This past weekend I was basically challenged at work by someone who did not go through the proper channels, ignored work place protocol, and show himself as extremely arrogant in a meeting he had no right to be in... The details are long and basically unimportant. What happened in my mind, is what finally clicked... When it did, I went off on this guy and shocked everyone for once in my life... It wasn't a melt down and I didn't shut down, for the first time in my life. I put a jerk in his place, and stood my ground. I actually told him I could, and should, fire him for what he has done in front of all 7 of my bosses (The Board of Directors). I listed off about 30 things I had let him slide on. I told him he has not a chance in hell at my position, and the very best thing he can possibly do is find his sorry ass a new job as fast as possible.

Why did I do this? How did I find the courage? What happened inside me?

Used to I would have just let it blow over and maybe even covered for a person to avoid conflict and avoid the nightmare of shutting down in front of God and everyone. That didn't happen. Here is why...

I have been trying very hard to tackle this shutting down thing. Through lots of work with my counselor, we basically pinpointed why its happening and what was causing it... I was UNWORTHY. I was the f***** retard I had been told I was. I was stupid. I was hated and not lovable. I was all this stuff ONLY because I BELIEVED IT deep inside.

With those "beliefs" there is an exact chemical dump that equals the thoughts I think. So the next thing was to change the chemical compound that holds those "beliefs" in place...

It was proved to me that I am worthy. I provide well for myself and my family. I work harder than any other person I can find. I have solved issues no one else had answers for... Blah, blah... BUT this was not a brag session. It was a FACT session. So EVERY TIME one of those bad thoughts flash in my head I am to go through this list and KILL those thoughts. Over the past few weeks it has worked BUT... and this is a HUGE BUT... It causes other things to take place that suck and are not comfortable. I'm not about to start lying to people. This is simple but it isn't easy.

I am changing those false beliefs, so my brain is actually dumping different chemicals but guess what... Its NOT what my body is used too. My body wants what its used too. It don't like the new "feelings" these chemical dumps are creating... It takes time for the body to adjust.

So I am just like a junkie coming off some hard drugs I have been using for a very long time... My body is even trying to throw is some depression to push me back into the corner I have been in since I was about 4 years old. I have been living in survival mode my whole LIFE...

So this is a very old "normal" dose of cortisol, adrenaline, and other hormone/chemical based juices that create how I feel constantly. They keep my body totally off balance and out of sync. They keep me stressed. They keep my stomach upset and keep me from being able to metabolize my food properly and tons more...
To try and change that is total chaos... But will it be worth me having tons more control over how I think, since I overthink everything... YES.

Is this going to cure my ASD? No, but it can do tons to help my quality of LIFE, which is what NO ONE has ever helped me with before. NO ONE is doing much of anything but collecting funds for a cash cow called ASD and making countless dollars in the process.

Now its just pushing past it the old chem dumps. It has now proved itself to me it works. I do feel better, but I don't physically feel so great just yet. Actually its hell. Its the battle of all battles for me. Many will not want to face the physical struggles, but I want to see the other side of this...

From within all this... came this thought about how so many AS/ASD people are abused, bullied, made fun of, discredited, and made to feel less than the rest of the population. This is done because we are simply very easy targets for people who are no better than we are. In some cases we are smarter, we think outside of the box of the status quo, we are often obsessed and very intelligent on specific subjects. We do have a lot to offer, but no one ever sees that side of us, nor do we often put it out there because of the LIMITS others have pushed on us.

I keep reading these stupid stories that are basically targeting people like us as murderers and such... Yes, this might have some merit IF their ASD has other issues and this is what has me so deeply upset. ASD on its own is not in any way the making of a killer. If so I would have axed a bunch of people long ago. I have never been a hurtful person and I never will be, its not in me. I cant speak for others, but I just don't see it, for the most part.

Also what I dont see... Is anyone who is playing on our STRENGTHS... I see a whole world pushing our weaknesses and even ourselves here on this site, playing on our own weaknesses. We sit here (myself included) and have our own pity party WHICH DOES WHAT? You need to know this answer...

For us to wallow in our weakness we FEED the same old chemical dump - NOTHING CAN EVER CHANGE. Instead this results in shorter lives, dis-eases, heart problems, and a world who can never see anything different from ASD people.

ASD is ASD, but if no one ever told us we were AS/ASD how would we act? If no one ever told us we were stupid, or weird... and we never BELIEVED that... How would we act? We would act very different than we do right now. We would still be wired differently, but not beat into submission, so that alone equals a very different mindset.

Once this started sinking in I wanted to find out where this goes... I have tons more to say, but this is getting really long and I know people don't like to read long posts... So we break them down in to shorter and more informative ones... Change the process, and the process starts the change all on its own.

BTW... This is proven science, not theory, or hocus pokus... This is there for the taking, not for the speculating. I believe every person here, and all over the world has something to offer a world that is fast losing its mind...

It might sound crazy, but what if people with ASD were the ones who showed a world how to stop the madness by showing them HOW TO THINK... This is what we do... This is why this is so cool for people like us... We are in our heads most all the time, now start rearranging what we think on, and we start changing the narrative that we see as our reality...

Now that I KNOW that my reality is based on a narrative of chem dumps that I have allowed...
I gave reality a message it was never expecting... it was this... Reality - you work for me now. : )

 

[SusanLR]

I know the physical harm and good what you think is real.
You're right, it is a battle.
I'm with you. Put me in the club.

 

[dragoncat16]

@Chance is there a website where we can read more about the method you described? I'd like to read more about it.

 

[OkRad]

I like what you said. Indeed, a lot of people are making a lot of money on ASD and to no help for the persons with ASD.

You asked what if we never knew? How would we act? I never knew and everything I did turned to sh**. For me, I wish I had known so I would not have tried to climb up a greased mountain.

I hope this helps you. Keep us posted.

FOr me, my goal is the exact opposite. I am not a person in power and when people without power try to exert their rights, it ends up laughable on the power end and excruciating on the non power end. If the power is equal, that is great, but I am a person with no power.

So for me, shut down is good. I like the way it makes me feel. I feel safe. My brain calms down. If I exert my rights, I feel worse. If I tell people off, I have to apologize. For me, the only interaction I ever want to have with people is kindness. KIndness or shut down . If someone yells at me, my best hope is to just walk away or stare at them. If I go off back at them, it makes me feel terrible.

I have to reserve those times for the times I need to go up against the medical community, like if I am about to be committed or if someone is trying to hurt me. Otherwise, it is useless. The chemical dumps are sadly often brought on from outside, relentlessly. THey don't define me, but they do shape behaviour.

 

[Chance]

@Chance is there a website where we can read more about the method you described? I'd like to read more about it.

I have to admit something... I did some reverse Psychology on my own counselor... I sent him a couple videos on Dr. Joe Dispenza... I asked him what he thought. At first he said lets focus on my issues...

I said, "My issue is I'm sick of focusing on what the F*** is wrong with me"... Do you want to help me or not?

He decided I was serious... Now we are both blowing each others minds... No meds, or as few as possible, just working on the natural chemical dumps in my body... Now HE is finding stuff he has dwelt on (this is my own counselor) and he is doing this with me also... Its pretty cool really BECAUSE we suddenly got on the same page... We became equals and now we have something we can both work with...

All this is sort of scattered in Dr. Joe's works and in his books... He never really lists it out (he doesn't seem to work like that)... I just started picking up a pattern he was discussing and made a narrative out of, and it worked. He's super cool guy, he's sometimes off in the Metaphysical and I'm okay with it, but I try to stay more grounded on the real factual science end of anyone's stuff...

He is super loaded with knowledge on many topics so you just sort of have to dig around in his stuff. He's not some quack. He's a neuroscientist, he knows his stuff and he has a wonderful way of laying it out in a terminology that a kid can grasp.

 

[Chance]

I like what you said. Indeed, a lot of people are making a lot of money on ASD and to no help for the persons with ASD.

You asked what if we never knew? How would we act? I never knew and everything I did turned to sh**. For me, I wish I had known so I would not have tried to climb up a greased mountain.

I hope this helps you. Keep us posted.

FOr me, my goal is the exact opposite. I am not a person in power and when people without power try to exert their rights, it ends up laughable on the power end and excruciating on the non power end. If the power is equal, that is great, but I am a person with no power.

So for me, shut down is good. I like the way it makes me feel. I feel safe. My brain calms down. If I exert my rights, I feel worse. If I tell people off, I have to apologize. For me, the only interaction I ever want to have with people is kindness. KIndness or shut down . If someone yells at me, my best hope is to just walk away or stare at them. If I go off back at them, it makes me feel terrible.

I have to reserve those times for the times I need to go up against the medical community, like if I am about to be committed or if someone is trying to hurt me. Otherwise, it is useless. The chemical dumps are sadly often brought on from outside, relentlessly. THey don't define me, but they do shape behaviour.

I never hope to sound like I want to become powerful... Not my goal ever. Just in control of my situation, which often I'm not... Shutdown is good for my head in oneway, but I feel weak, powerless and I know others see me that way also...

I'm only trying to reset my own inner dialogue that causes them... There are times I shut down and I shouldn't... Its stupid. It makes me seem OR FEEL cowardice. Thats no way for anyone to feel, when that is not why it happened... See things are just misfiring and so out of whack with the facts of who I really am...

I'm not a coward. I have had to fight to survive, but all that struggle and loss put my thoughts in a cowards cage... Its a chem dump, nothing more, nothing less. Just changing the narrative....

In a real world event... Lets say this Mac Book got a virus, well we rewrite a program to overwrite the virus. Virus is mostly still there, dormant, no longer effective, but instead of it making things worse, we replace it with what puts the operating system back to normal. If we can delete fine, if not fine also, we just work around it and put it in the cage it had us in. I hope that makes some sense...

I'm off in stuff I am learning myself...I am never claiming to be some expert at any level, nor do I seek to become some Master achiever. I just need some things to calm down, and my meds suck horribly, I hate them, they hate me... I know LIFE is to be lived and I want to start living some of it at some level instead of hiding behind all my nightmares and shutting down.

For some people this what I am trying might seem insane and maybe it is, but my options aren't much better.
: )

 

[OkRad]

I never hope to sound like I want to become powerful... Not my goal ever. Just in control of my situation, which often I'm not... Shutdown is good for my head in oneway, but I feel weak, powerless and I know others see me that way also...

I'm only trying to reset my own inner dialogue that causes them... There are times I shut down and I shouldn't... Its stupid. It makes me seem OR FEEL cowardice. Thats no way for anyone to feel, when that is not why it happened... See things are just misfiring and so out of whack with the facts of who I really am...

I'm not a coward. I have had to fight to survive, but all that struggle and loss put my thoughts in a cowards cage... Its a chem dump, nothing more, nothing less. Just changing the narrative....

In a real world event... Lets say this Mac Book got a virus, well we rewrite a program to overwrite the virus. Virus is mostly still there, dormant, no longer effective, but instead of it making things worse, we replace it with what puts the operating system back to normal. If we can delete fine, if not fine also, we just work around it and put it in the cage it had us in. I hope that makes some sense...

I'm off in stuff I am learning myself...I am never claiming to be some expert at any level, nor do I seek to become some Master achiever. I just need some things to calm down, and my meds suck horribly, I hate them, they hate me... I know LIFE is to be lived and I want to start living some of it at some level instead of hiding behind all my nightmares and shutting down.

For some people this what I am trying might seem insane and maybe it is, but my options aren't much better.
: )

I am looking up this guy right now. I like some of what he says. I agree the mind is the most powerful tool of earth. But I am reading it with caution. Whenever someone makes a lot of money on big cure claim and insurance won't cover, you have to wonder.

Now I know there are cures for cancer, and I am thinking specifically of the whole Bexxar and Zevalin nightmare where the shots were $100,000 and insurance would not pay and the drug co's would not balk, so they SHELVED a perfectly good cancer cure!

However, if this really did work like say DBT works, insurance would cover. I am not saying it does NOT work, I am saying there are many, many brain training workshops and systems. As a TBI survivor, I have seen them alll and very few are the magic bullet they are made out to be.

What is more painful is that those of us who put our whole lives into them and do them perfectly and still cannot get anywhere.......we are blamed by everyone BUT our drs! You just did not try enough or blah blah, like with 12 steps. Oh, EVERYONE can do it or it is your fault. No, not everyone can do it.

FInding a system can be a lifesaver and this may be your lifesaver and I hope it is because you are cool and we like you here!! FOr some it's Tai Chi, or Buddhism, or Christianity, or Atheism, or math, or Greek or the Classics.............

Answers are all over the Universe. The Universe is aglow with answers! But it also continues to pummel us with twice as many questions AND a very, very tragically limited amount of time to try to figure out even a few of them.........

 

[pjcnet]

I like your post, but I really don't like the statistics from the Autism Society that are clearly trying to show aspies in a negative light.

Statistics are a very powerful manipulation tool that are used even by governments. They are nearly always manipulated to make them appear to show what someone wants other people to believe, sometimes the actual figures are manipulated by only taking selected things into account, sometimes they only show a selective part of a full picture and often there's a combination of both. Often they are then also used to draw inaccurate and unproven conclusions without considering all the facts, yet they usually state it as a definite fact.

For instance they show, "Autism services cost U.S. citizens $236-262 billion annually.", but do they truly? They may cost $236-262 billion, but what are these services? If they for instance include special schools, then do count the extra cost of special schools compared to a standard school, or do they just include the entire cost of the special school, because it still costs U.S. citizens $billions to finance normal schools? This is just a one possible way this figure could be manipulated and I suspect there's many. The statistic in itself doesn't show what aspies put into society, including the massive number of inventions Etc. that they have created towards technological development and some may save money, but the way these statistics are presented make more people believe that it's just dead money which isn't truly the case, with many aspies it's actually more of an investment. If someone with a special skill was sent to a very special school to further develop that skill, would they say that that costs U.S. citizens $X annually like it's dead money, no because that would be accepted as a great investment.

They state, "Prevalence of autism in U.S. children increased by 119.4 percent from 2000 (1 in 150) to 2010 (1 in 68). (CDC, 2014) Autism is the fastest-growing developmental disability.", but is this truly the case? Couldn't it be that the percentage of autistic people hasn't changed at all, but because it's understood better, more people are now being diagnosed? In my opinion I think this is far more likely.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I never hope to sound like I want to become powerful... Not my goal ever. Just in control of my situation, which often I'm not... Shutdown is good for my head in oneway, but I feel weak, powerless and I know others see me that way also...

I'm only trying to reset my own inner dialogue that causes them... There are times I shut down and I shouldn't... Its stupid. It makes me seem OR FEEL cowardice. Thats no way for anyone to feel, when that is not why it happened... See things are just misfiring and so out of whack with the facts of who I really am...

I'm not a coward. I have had to fight to survive, but all that struggle and loss put my thoughts in a cowards cage... Its a chem dump, nothing more, nothing less. Just changing the narrative....

In a real world event... Lets say this Mac Book got a virus, well we rewrite a program to overwrite the virus. Virus is mostly still there, dormant, no longer effective, but instead of it making things worse, we replace it with what puts the operating system back to normal. If we can delete fine, if not fine also, we just work around it and put it in the cage it had us in. I hope that makes some sense...

I'm off in stuff I am learning myself...I am never claiming to be some expert at any level, nor do I seek to become some Master achiever. I just need some things to calm down, and my meds suck horribly, I hate them, they hate me... I know LIFE is to be lived and I want to start living some of it at some level instead of hiding behind all my nightmares and shutting down.

For some people this what I am trying might seem insane and maybe it is, but my options aren't much better.
: )

A mountain range of thoughts...
Turning negative mountains into molehills through a change in habits.
Increasing everest and the himalayas.

Man,by thought, can move mountains. (Some sort of jesus paraphrase)

 

[Rasendra]

A lot of what you said resonates with me. I had an ongoing 'truth' I knew so that by the time I entered high school I couldn't even look fellow students in the eye because I wasn't good enough. I knew this as fact to me that I was less of a human. I was wrong, a failure, lazy, stupid, worthless. When I hit rock bottom someone in a therapy session said something that made me feel as if I could breathe for the first time clearly. It should have been obvious but growing up with such negativity from home and school life I knew nothing else.

We are born equal. I don't mean in equal circumstances or abilities. Obviously some are born into rich or happy families and some are born geniuses or super talented athletes. I just mean that no one is born a better person. I was not born a lesser person because I was different. It was okay to be different. That of course didn't solve everything but it set me on the path to correct the negative self talk going through my head constantly and the low self esteem.

I still struggle at times and it seems easy to just slip back into the negativity. But the crap I went through and the crap I was fed growing up was wrong. I can mostly be in a better place with that but I sometimes wonder if I can ever be rid of it completely or if I will also second guess my worthiness. Maybe with age I will learn to accept it more, I don't know.

Also I can see how some might come on here and focus on the negatives but ultimately I think this forum is more positive than negative. Some might 'wallow' a bit but maybe it is okay to grieve a bit for the crap went through growing up, finding out there are others alike and not alone anymore. It is definitely something to take in. I want to say that I feel such comfort in knowing there are so many of you out there like me. I have been also floored by the positive reception and support shown by everyone. It's truly awesome and disproves so many stereotypes and negativity about Autism.

 

[SusanLR]

For me, the only interaction I ever want to have with people is kindness. KIndness or shut down . If someone yells at me, my best hope is to just walk away or stare at them. If I go off back at them, it makes me feel terrible.

I know these feelings.
If anger does arise it makes me feel terrible too.
Both mentally and physically. It can make me physically sick easily, just like high anxiety. I feel like I'm in survival mode most of the time anyway and a temper flare or extra stress can cause stomach problems or send me into one of those sudden horrible spells of vertigo.
Thus my signature here: Living on the Edge.

I know these chemicals are responsible. I meditate and take time to rest but it is those repeated negative thoughts that keep the chemicals high.

I haven't had problems feeling useless or unworthy.
Being different doesn't worry me.
It is fear, anxiety.
My panic attacks that started around 13 set my mind off into the fear zone. The what if's and fearing I couldn't control the sensations the fear thoughts brought.
That lead to being my own worst enemy. How could I ever feel safe and happy with someone that was in a state of high anxiety and couldn't control it's effects?
And that person is me!
I like the thought that a thought could change the things I feel.

I want a new drug...the natural one.
It certainly deserves a try.