total-recoil
Well-Known Member
Last night I chanced upon some fairly negative comments online (on another site) that I think were mainly negative as I don't think the poster was quite seeing the full picture in perspective, although I could understand what he was driving at. Basically he was concerned that aspies globally are, in some ways, forming their own society where we identify as being different than Neurotips, with our own value system and , in some cases, it's suggested we see as ourselves as underdogs who are maybe superior overall.
My own take on this is, I think the main point to bear in mind is when we grow up with aspergers, almost always we experience very hurtful experiences, social rejection, failed relationships, lack of tolerance and understanding and so on. So, this is clearly going to make it awkward and I confess I myself have a tendency to view people I know as "NT's", which isn't derrogatory on my part but, yes, it is an awareness that "they" are wired differently to myself, as if I were like Chinese and they were European (or something like that).
I now have friends who are neurotypical. Funnily enough, though, my neurotypical friends do tend to be perhaps a bit odd. In fact, one of my female friends I actually suspect she may have borderline aspergers. Those people who are neurotypical 100 per cent usually don't want to befriend me anyway and tend to just ignore me but remain polite and friendly.
Big question I ask myself, though, is will my current N.T. friends cut me out when they finally discover just how different I really am as, sure, it takes time to really get to know someone.
Anyway, to the point: There may be an aspect of an "us" and "them" scenario which, in rarer cases, may stretch to the alternative cyber sub culture as typifed by such phenomena as "Indigos" and "Star Children". In more moderate circles, however, the "us" and "them" aspect reflects the simple fact aspies and neurotypicals struggle to connect and understand one another, be it in family circles, at school or relationships.
My own personal perspective is that growing up with the rejection that surrounds aspergers has been extremely hurtful at various stages of my life, even giving rise to anger, resentment, isolation and untold anxiety. However, I don't blame either myself or anybody else and have now changed my position to being open about aspergers to everybody. More than likely I will tell my N.T. friends at some point what aspergers is all about, how it affected my life, what it means and suggest ways in which society can better adjust to our situation.
I hope this strikes a few chords and makes some sense without being offensive to anyone.
My own take on this is, I think the main point to bear in mind is when we grow up with aspergers, almost always we experience very hurtful experiences, social rejection, failed relationships, lack of tolerance and understanding and so on. So, this is clearly going to make it awkward and I confess I myself have a tendency to view people I know as "NT's", which isn't derrogatory on my part but, yes, it is an awareness that "they" are wired differently to myself, as if I were like Chinese and they were European (or something like that).
I now have friends who are neurotypical. Funnily enough, though, my neurotypical friends do tend to be perhaps a bit odd. In fact, one of my female friends I actually suspect she may have borderline aspergers. Those people who are neurotypical 100 per cent usually don't want to befriend me anyway and tend to just ignore me but remain polite and friendly.
Big question I ask myself, though, is will my current N.T. friends cut me out when they finally discover just how different I really am as, sure, it takes time to really get to know someone.
Anyway, to the point: There may be an aspect of an "us" and "them" scenario which, in rarer cases, may stretch to the alternative cyber sub culture as typifed by such phenomena as "Indigos" and "Star Children". In more moderate circles, however, the "us" and "them" aspect reflects the simple fact aspies and neurotypicals struggle to connect and understand one another, be it in family circles, at school or relationships.
My own personal perspective is that growing up with the rejection that surrounds aspergers has been extremely hurtful at various stages of my life, even giving rise to anger, resentment, isolation and untold anxiety. However, I don't blame either myself or anybody else and have now changed my position to being open about aspergers to everybody. More than likely I will tell my N.T. friends at some point what aspergers is all about, how it affected my life, what it means and suggest ways in which society can better adjust to our situation.
I hope this strikes a few chords and makes some sense without being offensive to anyone.
