Verbalism

[Ylva]

Here's an article written by an allistic mother of at least two autistics. On the surface it looks like just another self-centered parent lamenting, but under the surface it actually has a few decent insights that I am glad I read because it made sense of a little more of my childhood.

Of course, under that again, it's just another parent lamenting.

The difficulties that get overlooked when your autistic child is verbal

 

[Gritches]

Those are indeed some good insights. I especially like the one about how people are too quick to assume that if a child can speak, everything is fine. Same concept applies to adults.

 

[artfull dodger]

I get that alot, because unless I am very overwhelmed, I am verbal. Its only once spending more time around me they see the one sided conversations, dificulty with small talk and limited topics of interest. Along with lack of little if any eye contact. High functioning can be more challenging as others want to assume your fine. Very good insights. Mike

 

[toothless]

I get that alot, because unless I am very overwhelmed, I am verbal. Its only once spending more time around me they see the one sided conversations, dificulty with small talk and limited topics of interest. Along with lack of little if any eye contact. High functioning can be more challenging as others want to assume your fine. Very good insights. Mike

hi artfull dodger,with all respect due,i dont agree that high functioning is more challenging than low functioning,its just a different way of living.
we [LFAs] get frustratingly judged to,we are assumed to be incapable of doing anything and are treated like we are not human,we are also treated like we have a childs brain and thus not given the same respect of an adult because we have varying levels of intellectual disability,having ID doesnt make us think like children,rather we process the world very differently,we understand differently and have a different hierarchy of needs,most with ID have adult interests like having a girlfriend/boyfriend and having a job.

when i became verbal in my late twenties, i faced heavy expectancies and no one understood just because i had gained a verbal voice that i struggle to speak because translating my head into language and then physically verbalising it is near impossible for me and when i do it it makes me non verbal afterwards,it leaves me in a world of overload.
i can relate from that view that aspies are treated badly for being verbal and i only wish that people understood the energy and capacity needed to verbalise what you want when you are autistic to any degree.

 

[Amy Susan Rose]

I know for me it is so much more easier to write than to speak. Sometimes I speak fluidly but on the other hand when I am in an environment that puts me into overload I struggle to make any kind of conversation. I have not told many people I'm an aspie because most wouldn't understand and also they may consider me a freak at my age. So I try to pass and usually can but their are times when people must think me odd. But then in my eyes, so are they at times!

 

[Buzzerfly]

I had a female friend on the spectrum who was often accused of being sociopathic or a liar due to the way she imitated or repeated others. For example, she would say she was a Republican to one person, a Democrat to another. I imagine this way of coping could be really devastating as a child...if you were actually a very genuine person, with pure intentions, but couldn't help blowing with the wind when it came to "what to say in a given moment". In reality, defining oneself as siding with a political party is kind of ridiculous. Many things people talk about are, not that THEY are.

I think NTs have a hard time recognizing danger. So they rely on rules and cues to tell them whether or not something/someone is safe. Problem is: harmful things now know how to imitate friendly cues - while someone innocent may not know how to imitate or on the opposite end, just repeats to keep him/herself safe. Weird world.

 

[Datura]

we are also treated like we have a childs brain and thus not given the same respect of an adult because we have varying levels of intellectual disability,having ID doesnt make us think like children,rather we process the world very differently,we understand differently and have a different hierarchy of needs,most with ID have adult interests like having a girlfriend/boyfriend and having a job.

This was something that frustrated me when I was a community support worker. My colleagues and higher-ups would frequently describe our clients in terms such as, "having the mental capacity of a ten year old", or, "thinks like a child." I always found this way of thinking to be reductive, inaccurate, and insulting.

Sure, someone may still enjoy Thomas the Tank Engine at the age of 30 and need help toileting, but they may also have strong political convictions, desire adult relationships and have their own apartment. Comparing that person to a preschooler would just be wrong, even if there are some superficial overlaps in interests and ability.

When I worked with people with dementia I would often be told that, "they are just like children", even though dementia is totally different. Children are constantly learning, dementia patients are constantly forgetting. Children don't typically accuse you of cheating with their husband and trying to steal their house. They certainly don't find themselves lost amidst disjointed memories of their long lives, unaware that their daughter couldn't possibly be both in elementary school and celebrating her wedding anniversary at the same time.

So I agree; adults with mental disabilities (weather it autism, or something else entirely) should not be treated as children. Everybody needs to realize that they are individuals with complex personalities and needs that cannot be reduced to a simple number.

Back on topic

Ones ability to clearly articulate themselves certainly dispels the appearance of disability. I can see how this would lead people to "fall through the cracks" and not get the help they need as people would presume they are more capable than they are. I would not go so far as to say this makes things more difficult than being non-verbal, mind you, as that would be very challenging indeed.

 

[Ylva]

My colleagues and higher-ups would frequently describe our clients in terms such as, "having the mental capacity of a ten year old"

I know this is not what they meant, but ten-year-olds have more brain cells than anyone and I think it would be fun to inform one of those derogators of that.