If I'm in a waiting room, it's usually because I'm there for an appointment that is anxiety-producing. Whether it's with a therapist, doctor or governmental figure, I'm already on edge when checking in. The waiting room experience excaberates these feelings greatly.
Sitting in a room with strangers. The usually-open layout, without crannies to hide in. Not knowing if it'll be two minutes or twenty (or longer than an hour at some places). It drives me nuts. Besides for not enjoying feeling anxious, it's not all that conducive to having good results from the meeting. This is especially so with therapy, which requires me to be calm in order for some productivity to take place.
At one therapy clinic, there was a children's waiting room that was usually empty and with the light off. It was so much better when I could go in there and sit on the floor. The problem was that I was always nervous about being seen as creepy or something. There were actually times when a security guard would make me leave. That I don't do well in defending myself towards authority figures makes it more dangerous.
When going to a doctor this week, I chose to sit on the floor of the waiting room. Being lower down has always felt safer, especially in times of stress. This office is in my religious community and used by its members, and the room was relatively full. You'd have to be one of us to understand how much floor-sitting is viewed negatively. It's seen as childish and crazy, but there's also a superstition around it, because mourners are not allowed to sit on regular chairs. I'm beginning to not care what people think.
I know that asking for accommodations is warranted and appropriate. It's just hard for me to make myself vulnerable in that way. This is one of the many areas in which I struggle in deciding how much to let myself and others label me as disabled.
This topic must be familiar to lots of you, no?
Sitting in a room with strangers. The usually-open layout, without crannies to hide in. Not knowing if it'll be two minutes or twenty (or longer than an hour at some places). It drives me nuts. Besides for not enjoying feeling anxious, it's not all that conducive to having good results from the meeting. This is especially so with therapy, which requires me to be calm in order for some productivity to take place.
At one therapy clinic, there was a children's waiting room that was usually empty and with the light off. It was so much better when I could go in there and sit on the floor. The problem was that I was always nervous about being seen as creepy or something. There were actually times when a security guard would make me leave. That I don't do well in defending myself towards authority figures makes it more dangerous.
When going to a doctor this week, I chose to sit on the floor of the waiting room. Being lower down has always felt safer, especially in times of stress. This office is in my religious community and used by its members, and the room was relatively full. You'd have to be one of us to understand how much floor-sitting is viewed negatively. It's seen as childish and crazy, but there's also a superstition around it, because mourners are not allowed to sit on regular chairs. I'm beginning to not care what people think.
I know that asking for accommodations is warranted and appropriate. It's just hard for me to make myself vulnerable in that way. This is one of the many areas in which I struggle in deciding how much to let myself and others label me as disabled.
This topic must be familiar to lots of you, no?
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