Walmart weirdo

[Aspychata]

So l hate shopping at Walmart, they treat their employees not so well.

Yesterday I was near a guy who said something, l did gray rock. Turned my cart and faced the other way. Then he pops up in another place and l proceed away from that area. Then l was shaken up a bit because l endured stalking in another state. So l went home and didn't process it until late at night. Then l thought out that l could probably call 911 if he was following me to my car.

So l checked to see what l would tell the dispatch operator of why l needed assistance. But Florida has the toughest laws regarding any type of elder abuse. It is a open type of law, open to interpretation and it is a felony. In LA, you would be on your own. The cops rarely show up.

Does anybody have a similar story of having to call 911 due to a similar senerio?

Men don't always understand this situation l think. If l had never been stalked or suffered harassment along those lines, then l wouldn't take this seriously. But l actually come from a lifetime of similar issues. Another issue is, that a female at any age can be raped. And that maybe another fact that most males aren't aware of. So all l can ask is that men read this post and l hope to widen their perspective on this.

And for those who think every female wears spandex with a cut off top to Walmart, l was wearing long exercise pants with two layering tops covering essentials.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I am angry at this. Who are the guys who think they can behave so, and why haven't they learned proper behavior? I have received unwanted attention from prostitutes that made me uneasy and can only imagine what women go through when they are just living life normally.

I could never act like that and in fact one reason I could not approach women, besides being unsure about social messages, was I never wanted to come off as a creep.

 

[Aspychata]

I think guys come from a she might be okay response, older woman come from a fear base response especially if you watch Lifetime channel and live in a state where alligators are the equivalent of living in Nevada where body drop-offs are just a desert away. I think 250,000 woman go missing in the USA every year from crime stats. I think it triggered from when l was stalked in another state. I had a complete meltdown and didn't even get "it", until next morning. Because l have delayed emotional processing ,why can't triggers be delayed to slow down with the rest of the turmoil.

I need a year of free coffee at Starbucks, just love that coffee smell.
To forget life's wrongs.

 

[Sunny1]

It's the vulnerability. Virtually every woman has endured harassment from men, and stalking just ups the ante. Women can never fully relax around men. And prior attacks on our boundaries makes us more reactive to the next inkling of the next such boundary violation. It puts us in the situation of hyper-vigilance at all times.

 

[Aspychata]

It's the vulnerability. Virtually every woman has endured harassment from men, and stalking just ups the ante. Women can never fully relax around men. And prior attacks on our boundaries makes us more reactive to the next inkling of the next such boundary violation. It puts us in the situation of hyper-vigilance at all times.

That puts it so clearly for me. This l should tat on my arm.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I’m sorry you went through that stab of fear again. It is so much a part of our lives, life long.

I’ve been pretty tough most of my life but am now old enough that I can be viewed as a victim merely by age alone, regardless of how tough and confident I might appear.

 

[Aspychata]

It's so nice that this forum of woman **get it**. Thank u so much. Everything changes when you get older, it can feel like a new target is always on your back. I go to the gym so l don't appear frail at this age and l can weather falls much better. People assume l am trying to look younger for men, no, looking younger means l maybe less of a victim choice in general by a drug crazy person looking for a easy mark.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

It's the vulnerability. Virtually every woman has endured harassment from men, and stalking just ups the ante. Women can never fully relax around men. And prior attacks on our boundaries makes us more reactive to the next inkling of the next such boundary violation. It puts us in the situation of hyper-vigilance at all times.

That makes me feel sad and angry! I can't think of a more beautiful thing than a woman, relaxed and sure of herself. Previously I could have been triggered from what you said, but now I feel that at least I have worked with my spouse to give her a decent life and love her for telling me that I am a better man than the others she connected with. Silly, I know, but I've gotta find good things where I can..

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

It's so nice that this forum of woman **get it**.

???? Last time I checked I am male. Maybe I'm channeling my feminine side. But, y'know, if I do not support respect towards women, the next victim of toxic masculinity, could be me - I've never seen myself as a stereotypical male.

 

[Aspychata]

???? Last time I checked I am male. Maybe I'm channeling my feminine side. But, y'know, if I do not support respect towards women, the next victim of toxic masculinity, could be me - I've never seen myself as a stereotypical male.

You aren't toxic. It's just that the woman filled in the explanation that l couldn't figure out myself. So l really appreciate them sharing their wisdom and breaking down why l felt unhinged. It is that feeling of vulnerability that l couldn't grasp.

Just as you talk about certain things that l can't truly understand because l am female. Men's vulnerability seems to be more rejection-centric I believe but feel free to correct me.

 

[Fino]

I don't quite understand what happened. From my understanding, you saw the same guy twice in a grocery store and that freaked you out. I'm sure I'm missing something so my intention isn't to downplay whatever you experienced.

 

[Aspychata]

I don't quite understand what happened. From my understanding, you saw the same guy twice in a grocery store and that freaked you out. I'm sure I'm missing something so my intention isn't to downplay whatever you experienced.

He tried to talk to me and the second time could have been truly accidental. But the great female members here explained that it brought up a deep feeling of vulnerability and l now understand why l felt so unhinged. It also took me back to being stalked everyday for four years of my life in another state. I ended up on antidepressants, it took such a toll on me. So l think l freaked out and remembered this which was a very frightening time in my life. I doubt
any man has been stalked for four years at this forum.

Then l made the mistake of watching a true story of a woman who stalked for many years, and nobody could help her, and that started the downward progression of these dark thoughts and memories.

But it's good that you are asking for clarification and trying to understand this.

 

[Slime_Punk]

I'm pretty sure every woman I know has at least one (if not more) stories of being followed or stalked for at least a short period of time, in places as innocent, common and 'safe' as the grocery store - usually when they're alone and somewhat vulnerable. I think this is absolutely terrifying, and voids my own perceptions of 'safety'.

I mentioned this in another thread, but my wife has gotten accosted in the grocery store, even when I've just walked away for 5 seconds to go and grab something. Some men (usually straight guys, if we're being honest) can be absolutely terrifying if they're the type to really pursue something like this with pure vulgarity. They're statistically and technically the minority anyway, but that doesn't mean much when you have one going after you.

I think it's pretty reasonable to be on high-alert if any woman suspects it's happening, regardless of whether they're correct or not. It's better to be safe than sorry, and it's better to alert someone (or get into a safe location immediately) and be wrong than to not have said / done anything to begin with.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I think it's pretty reasonable to be on high-alert if any woman suspects it's happening, regardless of whether they're correct or not. It's better to be safe than sorry, and it's better to alert someone (or get into a safe location immediately) and be wrong than to not have said / done anything to begin with.

These words remind me of one of the phrases I learned in early violence prevention classes: Go with your gut.

If you get that inner body notice that something is wrong, get out. Or get help.

 

[Mary Terry]

These words remind me of one of the phrases I learned in early violence prevention classes: Go with your gut.

If you get that inner body notice that something is wrong, get out. Or get help.

And be extra vigilant in the parking lot. That's where most of the crime against women is committed.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

You aren't toxic. It's just that the woman filled in the explanation that l couldn't figure out myself. So l really appreciate them sharing their wisdom and breaking down why l felt unhinged. It is that feeling of vulnerability that l couldn't grasp.

Just as you talk about certain things that l can't truly understand because l am female. Men's vulnerability seems to be more rejection-centric I believe but feel free to correct me.

I get it. Thank You. The physical vulnerability in ordinary circumstances. I only felt that way, in some places where I did not understand what was going on. You are right, though, that vulnerability for me has revolved around rejection and my neurology amplified that until it was crippling. I hope that I will have the courage to help any woman who is threatened. I've only done that once when a disturbed man was following a woman closely, muttering under his breath and making aggressive gestures. I just bumped into him and deflected his attention and thought for a moment that he was going to assault me. But that was enough to get him to stop

 

[Judge]

And be extra vigilant in the parking lot. That's where most of the crime against women is committed.

It's frustrating knowing in real-time dealing with strangers in terms of "friend or foe". And that there are two kinds of criminal intent. That of a sinister and planned nature involving degrees of skills, and those committed spontaneously as was mentioned earlier. Those wanting a quick score for their fix, etc..

At least with Walmart there are closed-circuit cameras both inside and outside the premises. But things like that don't likely slow down the spontaneous and reckless criminals who just want what they want- when they want it.

Yes...such considerations can be filled with so much anxiety. Even in those possible instances where someone just wants to be social in what most of us would consider to be odd. But with no way to immediately know the difference. In this sense it's tough to be an elderly man or woman...knowing you are a target for predators. Especially bad in states like Nevada and Florida as well, given their very high number of retirees and tourists. If you live in such places, your own vigilance may be your best defense. Not something to apologize for either, IMO.

The one thing I consider which may or may not reflect the truth at times is the age of any stranger approaching me. That if I perceive them as a peer, I sense less of a threat level in real time. Conversely if that person is half my age, I'm more apt to feel defensive. My own experience is that much younger people simply don't engage with someone my age unless they want something. That they tend to treat us as if we are invisible. But even this isn't necessarily reliable. Though it does reflect how many of us our age feel about such things.

 

[Aspychata]

It's frustrating knowing in real-time dealing with strangers in terms of "friend or foe". And that there are two kinds of criminal intent. That of a sinister and planned nature involving degrees of skills, and those committed spontaneously as was mentioned earlier. Those wanting a quick score for their fix, etc..

At least with Walmart there are closed-circuit cameras both inside and outside the premises. But things like that don't likely slow down the spontaneous and reckless criminals who just want what they want- when they want it.

Yes...such considerations can be filled with so much anxiety. Even in those possible instances where someone just wants to be social in what most of us would consider to be odd. But with no way to immediately know the difference. In this sense it's tough to be an elderly man or woman...knowing you are a target for predators. Especially bad in states like Nevada and Florida as well, given their very high number of retirees and tourists. If you live in such places, your own vigilance may be your best defense. Not something to apologize for either, IMO.

The one thing I consider which may or may not reflect the truth at times is the age of any stranger approaching me. That if I perceive them as a peer, I sense less of a threat level in real time. Conversely if that person is half my age, I'm more apt to feel defensive. My own experience is that much younger people simply don't engage with someone my age unless they want something. That they tend to treat us as if we are invisible. But even this isn't necessarily reliable. Though it does reflect how many of us our age feel about such things.

Sadly the mug shots here are pretty evenly divided between the younger, 25 and under, and 50 and older.

 

[Fino]

Being stalked for four years could potentially lead me to suicide attempts. I was stalked for several weeks, had my tires slashed six times, and I abused anxiety medication to deal with it.

 

[Aspychata]

Being stalked for four years could potentially lead me to suicide attempts. I was stalked for several weeks, had my tires slashed six times, and I abused anxiety medication to deal with it.

So sorry to hear this Fino.

It ended up pretty bad for me. It was a game changer.
I was on antidepressants for almost a year.