Wanting to do something only after it's too late

[Keith]

I have a history of being asked to go somewhere or do something and I initially say I'm not interested or don't want to, and then everyone leaves or we don't go. A few hours later I want to go all of a sudden even though it's too late. It frustrates me sometimes.

 

[Aspieistj]

I don't like to make quick decisions and I think what you describe is a hesitation to jump at a chance so you say no. Later, you have time to regret not going along with the crowd. Today is my 70th birthday and when a friend called to ask if she could take me out to lunch, I said no, but immediately regretted my refusal. However, my friend called at 11 and she knows I sleep until noon. There was no way I could accept her invitation for lunch today because I would first have to shower, wash my hair, wait for it to air dry, and then I could get dressed and go. I simply can't be so spontaneous. Also, she always wants lunch by noon. It's just too difficult to "go with the flow."

 

[King_Oni]

Perhaps you should get a heads up about where you could go way ahead? As Aspieistj said, quick decision making might be the issue here.

But then again, I'm also inclined to say that if you hesitate to go and eventually don't go (even if you make up your mind), you didn't really care for it in the first place. If something doesn't excite you right away you can wonder how much of a motivation you have to start with.

 

[Keith]

Yeah, I'm bad at quick decisions.