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Warning signs

Personally, I am more inclined to have a shutdown due to a combination of mental exhaustion, poor diet, inflammation, and my brain typically begins to feel swollen inside my skull. The few times that I had a meltdown was during the same time, someone 'flipped my switch' by being a disrespectful jerk to me all of a sudden. Meltdowns come on quick and they are scary for me and the people I am around. It's like an out-of-body experience where all the demons of Hell come up and out of me and I have no control for a moment. They've only happened a few times in my life and I cannot express how much I hate that situation.
 
Various dissociative symptoms preceded by increased stimming. If the stress subsides, the stimming can usually prevent any escalation into a shutdown. Meltdowns are very rare in my case.
 
I'm still not sure that I completely understand either term. I have always been fairly well self controlled and disciplined and these things don't just "happen" to me.

If I've been overstimulated then I need time out afterwards, when that happens to me I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted. This happens with enjoyable events as well as the less desirable interactions. I lose my ability to focus and concentrate, I first notice this when trying to play a video game but usually quickly discover that I don't even have enough focus to read a book or watch a movie.

When that happens I usually can't sleep either, the only thing I can really do is sit with a nice cup of coffee and stare at the wall while I daydream. Sometimes this will carry over in to the next day. I believe that's what people are describing when they use the term "shutdown" but this doesn't happen to me in public, it's not until I get home and no longer have to keep up appearances that I shut down.

As for meltdowns, to me that looks exactly like what I grew up calling a 6 year old's tantrum. I don't melt down, when people push too many of the wrong buttons I blow up. I have one hell of a temper when roused but if I let fly it's usually well and truly earned.

I think the only time a physical stimulus has come close to causing a meltdown in me was from a corrugated country dirt road, being shaken and bounced around like that and also being concerned about the damage it's doing to the vehicle as well is very stressful, especially when you know you've still got miles and miles to go. Most people react that way to a heavily corrugated road though if it's more than just a few minutes.
 
A shutdown can cause you to have trouble speaking or moving (except perhaps a certain stim like rocking or clicking your tongue), blurry vision,perceived changes in surrounding sounds, surroundings not feeling real , ect. It's more than just feeling tired or having trouble focusing on a task. I didn't really deal with this much as a young child but over the years with accumulated traumas it became more common. Many symptoms first came to be around the age of ten and became more frequent after having to work in retail for so long.
 
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Have have several signs when I go into a meltdown and a shutdown and it irritates me to a degree.

With meltdowns I can contribute when I forget to take me medication for the day and I become more anxious and worried than usual but when I’m on my medication I still have meltdowns sometimes. I also deal with an autoimmune condition and when I have flairs in my joints I get aggravated by the issue.
Other triggers occur such as predictability or worry what may happen later, tomorrow or further down the line thinking something bad is going to happen so it mainly difficulty dealing with unexpected changes. Also self guilt would bring on a meltdown and that’s from an emotional standpoint thinking I did something majorly wrong.

When I’m about to shutdown I tend to pace around my room and also sit on my floor to try to relax during a meltdown. I don’t shutdown often but when I do I won’t talk to anyone (except for my dog) and I decide to be isolated when normally I hate it and I enjoy being around my friends.

I haven’t had either of those all week so far as opposed to having only one meltdown plus shutdown last week. Only one step at a time for me.
 
Anxiety and panic. I have to be under a lot of stress to actually lose control of my reaction to stress. For example, recently I've had four problems going on at once; money worries, noisy neighbours, change and pressure going on at work, and also the bullying at work. The bullying is what has tipped me over the edge and has made me become openly frustrated at work. RSD can actually be a huge trigger, and bullying is something those of us with ADHD and RSD simply cannot cope with. But if I didn't have the other three problems going on in my life then I think I'd be more able to control my temper at work when triggered. So I have to be under a certain amount of stress before I reach my limit and just cannot cope any more.

As a meltdown comes on (I don't think I get shutdowns?) I can literally feel my heart beating faster, which releases adrenaline that gives me this overwhelming energy to express frustration through shouting and slamming doors and kicking walls. Trouble is, despite knowing how I'm feeling, the reactions to them can be impulsive and don't involve thinking before acting. Thankfully I don't hurt myself or others during these fits of rage, no matter how impulsive, which is a good sign that I am not dangerous. Something in my brain just stops me from hurting myself or others no matter how angry I'm feeling. So I know I can trust myself there.
 
- Less coherent sentences while speaking, gaps in between words
- Increasingly tense movements and behavior
- Increasingly tensed speech and stressed expressions
- Frantic walking, frantic 'pathfinding' while walking eg. Sifting through small crowds trying not to accidentally bump somebody or knock someone's kid down
- Profusely apologizing for things that don't require apologies
- If a stress source is particularly bad or mundane yet still intimidating somehow (for example, a police car flashing blue lights even if they're not after us), INSTANT panic attack, esp. if it seems to "pop up"

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"There's a lot to learn from your own mind."
 
I didn't list them earlier, but the pacing and the more tense movements are relatable when feeling overwhelmed too. Of course, in my case I also pace for other reasons like boredom or even excitement. Excited pacing sometimes switches over to galloping. I sometimes apologize when it is not logical to as well but I would not associate this to distress necessarily more like standard procedure in public to try to avoid angering people though that can backfire when they think it was sarcasm. One amusing incident related to that topic was back at my retail job. I was so accustomed to saying "sorry " that I blurted out "sorry " when I backed into the cart of freight that I was stocking from. I quickly realized that it was a cart and not a person but it was too late another associate had seen/heard.🤦‍♀️🤣
 
I didn't list them earlier, but the pacing and the more tense movements are relatable when feeling overwhelmed too. Of course, in my case I also pace for other reasons like boredom or even excitement. Excited pacing sometimes switches over to galloping. I sometimes apologize when it is not logical to as well but I would not associate this to distress necessarily more like standard procedure in public to try to avoid angering people though that can backfire when they think it was sarcasm. One amusing incident related to that topic was back at my retail job. I was so accustomed to saying "sorry " that I blurted out "sorry " when I backed into the cart of freight that I was stocking from. I quickly realized that it was a cart and not a person but it was too late another associate had seen/heard.🤦‍♀️🤣
Reminds me of a time when I was in a store and backed into someone and said sorry - only to realise it was a mannequin. 😂
 
For both my stress levels are elevated, the things that are usually tolerable in the right circumstances, become overwhelming and if I have to push through without a break from the stressors it will cost me later. In the past where there was no escape in the moment I disassociated to cope.
These days, if my sensory sensitivities are heightened or my working memory is in slow mode, I know I need a quiet rest, somewhere safe and comfortable.
 
What are your warning signs that you are about to go into a shutdown or meltdown?

I'm not sure I have any. It just happens, though I suppose in any circumstances involving being surrounded by people moving all around me it might be the most likely precursor of a shutdown. At least it has in both the recent and distant past.
 
What I call a meltdown usually means that I start crying from being completely overstimulated (I differentiate it clearly from crying for emotional reasons).
In special situations when I have a meltdown because I'm oversocialized, a meltdown is more aggressive, irritable.

I am still in the long process of figuring those things out for myself and of identifying early warning signs.

On some days, I already notice in the morning that things feel "off". Those days feel like my battery's only half full. Reasons might be that I slept poorly, that I'm fighting some infection, that I've been under stress recently. On those days, I need to look after myself because getting heavily overstimulated is much easier than on good days.

I notice an approaching meltdown by:
- a feeling of tightness in my stomach
- my body going more rigid
- my arms bending at the elbows and my hands and fingers twisting and fidgeting more than normally, in a more intense, repetitive way
- I feel anxious, tense
- I feel the need to put on headphones and to listen to something, such as music
- I find it increasingly uncomfortable to be touched, to see, hear or smell things, and to listen to people talking and to talk to people myself
- I have the increasing need to go someplace quiet by myself
 
Is mood incongruent laughter when distressed, scared, hurt, or angry a form of meltdown?
 
- I do not comprehend things
- I get tunnel vision(figuratively speaking)
- I stare out into space in confusion
- I'm unresponsive or I will respond in immature ways
- A total loss of any trains of thought
- Trapped in a negativity loop
 
I get a whirlwind of overwhelming thoughts when I'm about to have a meltdown.

Here's an example of my previous meltdown:-

1. Area manager had a go at all of us cleaners because of some busybody grass taking a photo of us talking. I felt annoyed but calm
2. Photo was shown of us, my annoyance grew into frustration and rage
3. As the boss person was yelling at us and holding up the photo of shame, I was quickly working out in my head who took the photo and it wasn't hard
4. Anxiety, stress, annoyance, humiliation and rage boiled up inside me
5. I began shaking with fury and had to let it out somehow
6. I angrily told the boss who took the photo but he thought he'd calm me by saying "just go and get your equipment ready". This didn't calm me, so I walked away shouting that I hated the guy who took the photo and that I wanted to resign
7. I got my equipment but then threw it across the room and slammed the door as hard as I could, then started yelling at one of the bad guy's clique pals to leave us cleaners alone
8. Then the tears came and I shut myself away in a bathroom and cried and cried
9. After I felt calm enough to face people again I sat with the supervisor who I spoke to (through tears) about the whole incident
10. I still felt depressed for the rest of the shift but was able to do my work, but just kept sobbing on and off
10. Felt much more relaxed after my shift was finished and I was home, as I was away from the stress and could focus on my husband, pets, DVDs and hobbies

So yeah, that's quite a good example of my thoughts, emotions and actions during a meltdown. They're always triggered if I'm under too much stress and someone comes along to piss me off.

My husband said that people are usually the cause of meltdowns in anybody (especially those with mental health issues or are neurodivergent). I'm not sure that's strictly true though, as some people can have meltdowns if their washing-machine breaks down or something. But I think what he means is people can cause you to feel more complicated emotions, such as hurt and embarrassment. And when you have RSD, only people can trigger this. I have never been hurt by rejection from an animal before.
 

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