We must stop bullying people with autism

[Geordie]

- Dr. Manny Alvarez

Today, I became aware of a story about a grocery store employee afflicted with Asperger?s syndrome, who was unnecessarily harassed by a female customer. Why? Because he was taking too long to ring up her groceries.

This incident really affected me. People need to understand that individuals on the autism spectrum are going to face challenges as they try to incorporate themselves into the fabric of a working environment.

Every time I write a story about autism, in which I relate personal anecdotes about my son, many people thank me for sharing the struggles that our family faces on a day-to-day basis. But consequently, I also receive hateful comments from people expressing very insulting thoughts they may have about both my son and myself. As a father, these comments hurt, but I don?t take them to heart, because I know that these people are misinformed. And ignorance can sometimes be the driving force for animosity.

No matter what, I will always stand up for the rights of people on the autism spectrum and try to spread awareness about this disorder. Fortunately, many industries today are starting to focus on creating employment initiatives for this population, which is such a wonderful enterprise. We want all people ? regardless of disability ? to have opportunities for independence and growth. But this can only be accomplished if we have a tolerant and understanding society.

Just yesterday, the Autism Coalition of Long Island had a working symposium to sensitize first responders in Nassau County on how to interact with people on the autism spectrum. Professionals spoke with officers on how to approach these individuals, and how to make them feel safe. Many of those who attended the seminar expressed satisfaction over what they had learned. They realized that if they were better educated on the signs and symptoms of autism, they could perform their jobs in safer manner.

Recently, Jet Blue launched the ?Blue Horizons for Autism? campaign, a program in which airport personnel learn ways to make the travel experience easier for families with autistic children. We covered it here at Fox News Health, and many of the airline?s employees said the experience was eye opening, claiming the program helped to create a safer environment, where both airline personnel and families can have a pleasant experience.

When I see someone being bullied due to a lack of sensitivity, I want to point it out, so that we can all learn a lesson from it.

Today, as we celebrate World Kindness Day, let?s remind ourselves that it?s everyone?s responsibility to love each other, to understand each other, and to learn from each other.

Dr. Manny: We must stop bullying people with autism | Fox News

 

[Soup]

Working with the public in such a stressful job would be impossible for me. Some people are just deliberately rude to store cashiers: as if it is okay to take your frustrations out on them. The customer is NOT always right.

 

[King_Oni]

A story like this always makes me think about training and therapy for people with social anxiety and whatnot. The times I've had training and therapy as a child, the ones who were "acting" acted according to a certain idea, a program. They weren't unpredictable loose cannons who might eventually get physical. There's a safety net in training for these instances. And more and more I notice how the "real world" is becoming more unhinged and more prone to atypical behaviour that for a long while was not the norm. Screaming, insulting or even physical harm are becoming a norm.

If looking at the article it really makes me wonder; is there an allotted amount of time a clerk in a store has to take to do his business with you? If not, it's unreasonable even if it takes 30 minutes. I'll never understand these people who run in a store and act all jittery and are all "can you hurry up?".. yes, I can, but I don't want to. You people need to learn how to relax.

 

[Ereth]

People shouldn't bully others, period. But it's been my experience that those of us with disabilities still appear to be fair game to many . . . it's something I hope to help change.

 

[Ste11aeres]

I think it is so wonderful that he had a supportive manager, and warmth and support from lots of other customers.

 

[Daniel]

I think it is so wonderful that he had a supportive manager, and warmth and support from lots of other customers.

Indeed! The next time something like that happens around me, I want to have the courage to be one of those warm, loving, supportive people.

This is my favorite bit of writing on why "The Customer Is Always Right" is a terrible, terrible idea: "Two Phrases That Destroyed American Culture", from the blog Violent Acres.

I worked in retail for three years; my wife put in more than a decade. The sense of entitlement some people walk around with is just brutal; I swear, it's like they have to take advantage of the one, tiny instance in their lives where they have power over someone (I can only imagine what kind of life that woman must have to be that miserable).

What I like about the Violent Acres piece is that it presents a compelling argument for standing up to these assholes. We're all in this together, so it is my business if someone is exhibiting cruel behaviour towards someone else in public.

I like that people can use the Internet to offer support for people like this guy, who wasn't even a cashier but was helping out because they were short-staffed. I like that **** like this becomes news these days, so that ****** behaviour gets called out.

 

[Judge]

Sort of reminds me of the man who had PTSD who was asked to leave a restaurant because he brought his service dog.

Like autism, it's not something most of us wear on our sleeve. I'm just not sure in what it would take for the bulk of humanity to be a little more sensitive and discerning. Yes- I suppose publicity like this may be the best way to get the ball rolling.

 

[oscar2012]

theres nothing more annoying when you get discriminated for speaking up for yourself

 

[Ehmagerd]

I don't know that it's any more important to not bully aspie people, anymore than it is to people generally. I don't know, I mean, I don't think I want to be treated like I'm more vulnerable and more of a victim for being aspie. I want people to be more compassionate towards me, and for society to be that way in general but not for my aspie traits.

I wonder what kind of emotional problems that woman had. Most people who are mean are just projecting their own problems and failures.

The last time someone was viciously screaming at me angrily I felt like we were reliving her childhood. But I was playing her, and she was playing whoever it was that talked to her in such a way. Some of what she said was cliched, things you might hear a bad parent say to their child to put them down and berate them. I mean, I'm 20 but I guess I can play the part of the child as I don't look very adult or mature. Unfortunately for her I didn't play as she would have liked me to, despite how much she wished I would argue back at her I knew I couldn't win anything playing that game, as she was in an advantageous position.

Quickly I realised the situation was hopeless. I stared at her emotionlessly and said clearly 'ok'. She looked surprised by that response.

I waited to see if she'd say more but she didn't so I left. It's incredibly important to me to not let people get a reaction out of me or have them understand what I am feeling at all. Because if I show weakness or anxiety, they win. Besides, how dare someone think they have the privilege to view, be aware of or understand my emotions? That is something I offer when I want to. Of course there are times when I have to shut down due to anxiety and I can't choose not to look weak. But it makes me extremely angry to think that I can't help that. Sooo angry.

She phoned up to apologise 10 minutes after I had left. Which is hilarious because it could not have been her decision. The boss was near by and must have told her how unprofessional she was acting and that she should apologize.

I've had to deal with this woman a few times as she works for the real estate company I'm renting from. She was mean to me from the day I signed up for this property. She never has the guts to be mean when she's carrying out rental inspections here though, pathetic, attacks me on her home turf (office) and too timid to do anything when it's just me and her.

 

[DTFrontMan]

Reading the thread title I expected the topic to be about children, but I'm guessing bullying and kids is a pretty common association.

It's kind of a touchy subject which I think there will be confusion on for a while. I completely commend the employer for being compassionate and supportive as others have said, and I don't feel that abusive responses are ever the proper way of handling things. However I do feel that people need to be capable of handling the job they were hired for regardless of their situation. My job requires I do some customer service online and I certainly agree that customers are NOT always right (they're usually wrong with outlandish expectations), but the ones that are right need to be listened to in order for business to stay afloat. The hard part is figuring out which is which, those that let their emotions get the better of them like the customer in this article usually are the ones you want to ignore (which I hope everyone involved did). Constructive criticism always fares better than rage and proper understanding of the situation is the only way to make valid claims. Can't really live up to those things when you're too quick to anger.

 

[Tarragon]

My first thought when I saw this threads topic was "But we don't." I had to think about it a couple of times to realise what it actually meant!

Is this another sign of my aspie brain taking things too literally?

 

[Daniel]

I was wondering when I'd see something like this:

Iowa parents defend bullying of autistic teen

A school gets outed on the TV news in a story on how this 13-year-old kid gets bullied, so:
- Parents of his classmates flood the TV station with angry emails saying the kid deserved it 'cause he's a little douchebag (I paraphrase)
- The principal makes a statement saying that was shown in the report was "not bullying" and that bullying matters should be sorted out by the students themselves
- The mother of the kid is now getting harrassed
- A guy states he's proud of his nephew--the autistic kid called the nephew a nasty name, so nephew punched autistic kid in the mouth

That's a great thing to be proud of. Good preparation for a life of Iowa barfights.

I'm pretty sure two wrongs don't make a right.

 

[Ereth]

Wow. This is a complete and utter failure to protect all the children. Thanks, parents! Thanks, principal (shouldn't your school have a policy to address harassment and bullying?)!

And no, Tarragon, your mistake's got nothing to do with your literal-mindedness. It's simply a reading comprehension error.

 

[Tarragon]

I was wondering when I'd see something like this:

Iowa parents defend bullying of autistic teen

I'm pretty sure two wrongs don't make a right.

Or many, many wrongs as it appears in this case. The school should have handled this properly. I wonder why the kid with autism said the word in the first place? Was it unprovoked? Why do I suspect the other kids may have been giving him a hard time beforehand anyway?


Aren't people wonderful things? :/

 

[Dustman319]

I was wondering when I'd see something like this:

Iowa parents defend bullying of autistic teen

A school gets outed on the TV news in a story on how this 13-year-old kid gets bullied, so:
- Parents of his classmates flood the TV station with angry emails saying the kid deserved it 'cause he's a little douchebag (I paraphrase)
- The principal makes a statement saying that was shown in the report was "not bullying" and that bullying matters should be sorted out by the students themselves
- The mother of the kid is now getting harrassed
- A guy states he's proud of his nephew--the autistic kid called the nephew a nasty name, so nephew punched autistic kid in the mouth

That's a great thing to be proud of. Good preparation for a life of Iowa barfights.

I'm pretty sure two wrongs don't make a right.

I am from Iowa. I live in southeast IA right next to the Mississippi River. This happened in south central Iowa. I have never been more ashamed to live here.

The principal said it is the students' responsibility to handle cases of bullying. No, it's up to adults to handle kids. Would you give kids a credit card to shop? Would you let them drive a car or the school bus? They'd answer yes, & that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Have they seen Lord of the Flies? I remember being ignored, but at least nothing like this ever happened to me. Something has really gone wrong in the last 10-20 years, like hell on earth.

Then the aunt saying “He called my nephew a nasty name, and my nephew cocked (sic) him in the mouth,” “I’m proud of my nephew for doing that.” Would she say that if it was this; “He called my nephew a nasty name, and my nephew shot him." “I’m proud of my nephew for doing that.” You don't hit someone just because you were called a name. Shame on the school & family members for encouraging this kind of behavior. He's just a kid for heavens sake!

I'm sorry this hit too close to home for me. Rant over. I might blog about this later.

 

[Geordie]

My first thought when I saw this threads topic was "But we don't." I had to think about it a couple of times to realise what it actually meant!

You are right - we don't stop bullying people with autism.

That's why we should protect vulnerable individuals first, regardless of their circumstances.

Also, the implications of Dr. Manny's articles may affect us, in that some of us may not be capable of even doing a job. This is the part that hits home to me. Bullying only further discourages this, and no amount of coaxing or forcing can send us to work. We need gradual steps to start the process of living a full life, and this may or may not include working, depending on our circumstances.

 

[IContainMultitudes]

More of this, please:

 

[Perkinsj88]

Bullying will always be a problem realistically. I'm sure most of us suffered through it during school years, I know I certainly did. The only thing that ever prevented me from being the victim were my fists unfortunately, then again it was fortunate I was able to defend myself I suppose. Still unfortunate because in defending myself I was eventually expelled. I doubt this problem will ever go away and personally I believe children should be taught to defend themselves if needed rather than 'turning the other cheek'. Turning the other cheek for years results in a whole lot of pent up aggression.

 

[CatsablancaGirl]

I think people bully people who are different and don't know they are bullying someone with autism. I was bullied a lot in middle school and high school and I was in total denial about my autism. As far as the bullys knew I was just strange. Of course, it's never o.k. to bully anyone.

 

[robertwnielsen]

I think people bully people who are different and don't know they are bullying someone with autism. I was bullied a lot in middle school and high school and I was in total denial about my autism. As far as the bullys knew I was just strange. Of course, it's never o.k. to bully anyone.

Going through middle school in the late '70s, and then high school in the '80s (graduated in May, 1989), there wasn't a lot of awareness about autism, and I was bullied...a lot, just like you were, CatsablancaGirl. Oddly enough, when I've run into some of the people who bullied me (at class reunions), and explained why I was the way I was, they all but fell over themselves trying to apologize.

I wasn't in denial...I didn't know I had autism...but as you say, CatsablancaGirl, bullying someone is never okay, no matter what the circumstances.