Welcome to my life, Aspies Central!

[FrazzledFam]

Hello, everyone!

Welcome to my wacky but wonderful world! My partner and I are the proud parents of a fantastic 7 year old Aspie with ADD. He was diagnosed about 2 years ago with ADD, and with autism 6 months ago. He attends a fantastic academic magnet school, and he loves it there, but we're facing some challenges in trying to identify ways to help him balance the aspects of school that he finds challenging (primarily writing) with the elements he finds easy, like math. We're (hopefully) through most of the med fine-tuning, so he's getting through the day without losing focus, but also without getting too stressed. Now we're trying to identify things that cause him stress that we might be able to tweak, but all he's able to tell us when we ask how situations/stimuli affect him is that "it's hard to explain." I'm hoping that someone here might be able to help us hone in on the right questions to ask to get the answers we need to help him.

Thanks in advance to all of you for your support!

 

[Salmongirl17]

Hello and Welcome!!

 

[Structrix]

Welcome!

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome

When it comes to stimuli, if he's becoming overwhelmed, just remember that for Aspies, our senses are sometimes either stronger, or weaker, than most people. If he has sensitive senses, that overwhelm him, the only way to deal with this is to try and limit his exposure. For example, I'm not fond of the high pitched sound of a vacuum cleaner, and on bad days, it can get to me. Finding other senses to stimulate in a positive way is a good way to keep him happy too. For example, I have a good sense of smell, and love to smell citrus, and vanilla, as they calm me. Everyone isdifferent though, so it's a trial and error thing.

If he's anything like I was at that age, the best way to find out what stresses him, is to ask. You'll find that Aspies aren't always good at initiating conversations; even with trusted family members, and even if they want help. We tend to keep things to ourselves, until asked. Even then you generally need to specifically ask the right questions.

If he seems stressed, asking 'why' is good, but asking specific questions is better; for example: rather than 'why are you upset?' Try something specific, such as 'are you upset because of something I said?' And narrow it down this way. If his stress levels are peaked, and you are unable to obtain an answer at the time, then comforting him/ giving him space, until it passes would be better. Then you can ask later why he was upset.

You'll find that people on the spectrum have a different range of emotions to Neurotypicals (NTs, or the general population). I once visited a psychotherapist, who specialised in AS. She explained that NTs will generally get happy or upset gradually, which is what most people are used to. People on the spectrum though, tend to sit at one extreme, or the other (normally at neutral, which can cause us to appear rather aloof), but then we can pendulum across, so that our changes in mood may appear as mood swings, when really we simply don't have the same gradual process that most NTs do. This varies in extremities with different individuals though, and milder cases may not display this so obviously.

I hope that was helpful

We've also got a parenting section if you'd like to speak with other parents on this forum: Parenting & Autism Discussions | AspiesCentral.com

I also recommend browsing our recommended resources section, for books on AS. Anything written by Dr. Tony Attwood is a good place to turn to, as he is a brilliant expert, and specialises with children on the spectrum: Resources | AspiesCentral.com

 

[FrazzledFam]

Thank you so much for your suggestions, I'll definitely check out more of these resources!

 

[Kari Suttle]

I don't have ADD and am only a self-diagnosed aspie, but i know that at his age most of my issues in the classroom came from sensory issues. I'm very certain that i'm sound hypersensitive - meaning that to me i hear everything with no filter, no background noise its all the same to me. In the classroom, i would be easily distracted or lose focus cause if the room wasn't totally quiet. Even now, i can't read or work on something unless its silent.

I find that i have trouble explaining something face to face as well. I am much better writing things down. Perhaps you could be more specific with your questions? Ask if more specific issues are bothering him and see what he says. I get tongue tied in person only to find that hours later outside the situation i know my answer just fine.