What are some good ways to make friends?

[Ya Boi]

I moved to a new state a few years ago and I'm still struggling to meet people. I've joined and gone to group gatherings and events for things that interest me (board games, Warhammer, D&D, etc), but while I've become part of some of those groups, I haven't really met anyone I could call up to hang out on the weekend with.

My mom's suggesting I try using a dating app as a way to meet people, but when I tried making an account on Hinge I felt really uncomfortable for some reason. I'm not even sure if it would work. I've tried Facebook groups and Discord servers, but either I'm not having luck or I'm not trying hard enough.

What ways have been successful for you guys?

 

[Dillon]

I would honestly say going on a dating app is honestly not a great way to make friends even if you’re going to be dumping money in for a monthly subscription.
The best way I found is to volunteer. When I was in highschool I didn’t have that many friends as I had trouble making that many with people around my age for the exception of a few close ones I still speak to till this day.
I volunteered during the time at a homeless resource center where I assisted in making meals and passing out hygiene kits to homeless veterans. I met and made connections with people who were a bit older than me as of course I was the only young person volunteering at the time and I honestly didn’t want to be friends with some of my classmates who wanted to get into trouble all the time anyway. It helped to interact with people who had a passion and who deeply cared in making a commitment that at the time I was like you know what this is really rewarding. Volunteering at a place like that has helped me become more social able in meeting new people.

I currently volunteer as of last month with a state park helping out in habitat restoration projects on the prairie and I wasn’t sure at first if I would make any kind of friends but I was able to make a few especially since we had a reason for volunteering which was to help preserve and protect the environment.

I know that was a bit drawn out but have you thought about volunteering someone where? I feel if you did that you would be in a motivated atmosphere for people interact with you.

 

[lunarious]

I moved to a new state a few years ago and I'm still struggling to meet people. I've joined and gone to group gatherings and events for things that interest me (board games, Warhammer, D&D, etc), but while I've become part of some of those groups, I haven't really met anyone I could call up to hang out on the weekend with.

My mom's suggesting I try using a dating app as a way to meet people, but when I tried making an account on Hinge I felt really uncomfortable for some reason. I'm not even sure if it would work. I've tried Facebook groups and Discord servers, but either I'm not having luck or I'm not trying hard enough.

What ways have been successful for you guys?

Children are born Believers and Free. You could say they are born with a lot of stash or gold in Dungeons and Dragons vocabulary (i'm unfamiliar with D&D). You are born with so much gold that you technically can't move. So you might want to sacrifice gold in exchange for friendships, because you can't carry it alone (or can you?). Real friends don't want money for being friends. But to find friends you may need to drop your Pride and attachment to gold. ... You can't Believe in nothing so you want to Believe in something bigger than yourself.

Volunteer though.

 

[Crossbreed]

Find an Aspie-friendly church!

 

[Neonatal RRT]

The best way to make those interpersonal connections is to meet them in person. It's hit and miss. Most of the time it will be a miss, and sometimes someone will just "click" with you when you have your guard down and you aren't expecting it.

I come from an era before the internet. In order to meet anyone you had to be somewhere where other people were. For the typical young man in that era, and wanting to meet a girl, you might find 99% of them will reject you right away, and the other 1% was a success, and maybe another 1/10 of those might result in a long-term relationship, so 1:1000. The same thing with guy friends, but I was never under any "biological pressure" to meet other guys, so a lot of those simply came and went and never gave it a second thought, but even with girls, it was simply an understanding that you were going to be repeatedly shot down. It didn't matter if you were NT or ND because back then, "neither one of those existed". You just laughed it off, because your friends watching you certainly would, and you just rolled with it and moved on to the next "lucky girl".

So, what I am suggesting is (1) get yourself "out there" and (2) be mentally prepared to accept some subtle or not-so-subtle rejection, and don't let it discourage you. It's all a part of the process.

 

[Misty Avich]

The only place I can really make friends is at work (though if you don't work this won't apply to you). I'm often told that people at work aren't true friends but I see them as friends. It's the only place where some sort of social relationships just form without needing to make much effort.

I found joining clubs and things didn't work for me. I remember joining an arts and crafts club years ago while I was unemployed, just to meet people and make friends. But I couldn't seem to make friends. I didn't know where to begin. I felt shy and had nothing to say. So I quit going in the end because I felt lonely there. I feel embarrassed being shy because I pictured them talking about me when I weren't there like saying "who is that girl who just slips in and out without saying anything?" like I was some sort of mysterious entity. It's too embarrassing.

But at work I seem to develop social relationships with others, most of the time. That is why I rely on work to have friends because I seem to find it difficult making friends elsewhere.

Voluntary work is a good way to make friends. I did voluntary work when I was unemployed and did actually make a few friends. Probably because it had that workplace type of atmosphere. Although in one of my volunteering jobs I got so comfortable there and made a friend that I got close to, that I lost interest in doing any work there and just went to chat, but I got told that if I wasn't actually going to do any work then I have to go. So I quit but still stayed in touch with my friend and we met up when she wasn't volunteering.