What are you like after a day of socialising?

[Misty Avich]

Today I've been at a social event practically all day, meeting a lot of people I didn't know, and talking to others and hugging and smiling - which all feels natural, as I love being approachable and friendly to people even though I can be a little shy...but at the same time having the same social desires as everyone else. Yes, it's a complicated combination.

Anyway, when I got home (at about 8pm) I phoned my two aunties to chat about how my day went, then I begged my husband to come to bed at the same time as me so that we can chat about our day (we didn't really talk to each other much today because we were too busy talking to others, as there was a lot of people and a lot going on).
But he wanted to wind down by watching TV, so I went to bed to warm up.

But I'm full of energy and have been socialising online ever since I got into bed (on here, Facebook and email). My husband finally came to bed and we chatted about the day and all the people we'd met and spoken to, until he dozed off. So now I'm left wide awake still full of energy.

It seems that socialising doesn't drain me like it should an Aspie. I don't feel a need to stim or anything. Is anyone the same, or am I misdiagnosed? I know all Aspies are different but I just can't relate to all this masking and social exhaustion and all that. Maybe I masked today, because we were at a formal event so I had to act serious and not be my hyper, goofy self. But I think everyone has to mask to an extent to fit in to their environment?

 

[FayetheAspie]

Today I've been at a social event practically all day, meeting a lot of people I didn't know, and talking to others and hugging and smiling - which all feels natural, as I love being approachable and friendly to people even though I can be a little shy...but at the same time having the same social desires as everyone else. Yes, it's a complicated combination.

Anyway, when I got home (at about 8pm) I phoned my two aunties to chat about how my day went, then I begged my husband to come to bed at the same time as me so that we can chat about our day (we didn't really talk to each other much today because we were too busy talking to others, as there was a lot of people and a lot going on).
But he wanted to wind down by watching TV, so I went to bed to warm up.

But I'm full of energy and have been socialising online ever since I got into bed (on here, Facebook and email). My husband finally came to bed and we chatted about the day and all the people we'd met and spoken to, until he dozed off. So now I'm left wide awake still full of energy.

It seems that socialising doesn't drain me like it should an Aspie. I don't feel a need to stim or anything. Is anyone the same, or am I misdiagnosed? I know all Aspies are different but I just can't relate to all this masking and social exhaustion and all that. Maybe I masked today, because we were at a formal event so I had to act serious and not be my hyper, goofy self. But I think everyone has to mask to an extent to fit in to their environment?

Getting to talk to people seems to cause me to gain energy rather than being drained by it myself. I do however have stims like pacing, rocking side to side, bouncing my leg, ect. Gaining energy often makes these stims more pronounced.

 

[FayetheAspie]

Also, while I love to chatter when I get a chance, I don't really like hugs and such much. I'm the type of person who tends to flinch away if someone touches me at all.

 

[Judge]

It seems that socialising doesn't drain me like it should an Aspie. I don't feel a need to stim or anything. Is anyone the same, or am I misdiagnosed? I know all Aspies are different but I just can't relate to all this masking and social exhaustion and all that. Maybe I masked today, because we were at a formal event so I had to act serious and not be my hyper, goofy self. But I think everyone has to mask to an extent to fit in to their environment?

Consider how some Aspies are also highly extroverted. They fascinate me, as while I share some traits and behaviors with them, when it comes to socialization they almost seem like they are neurotypical. They almost seem like a contradiction, but they really aren't.

I don't hear it very often these days, but some years back I can still recall how on occasion someone would point out a simple reality for us. "That if you've seen one Aspie, you've seen one Aspie".

And while may share some, but not all traits and behaviors, we can also differ in terms of the intensity of them. Where some may exhibit them in a more mild fashion, while others make themselves stand out. And just as you point out, in my own case socialization with masking can be exhausting. Though while I have two stims, I don't often do them, and when I do it happens involuntarily. In essence, I suspect few of us as autistic persons can be defined as such in a "cookie-cutter" fashion. Though I like to think that usually some 12 hours later I recover from such a loss of emotional energy over most social events. Whether they go well for me in real time or not.

I agree though, anyone is capable of masking themselves, and for various reasons. Something not confined to neurodiverse persons. For some it's an occupational necessity, having nothing to do with one's inherent thought process.

 

[FayetheAspie]

Consider how some Aspies are also highly extroverted. They fascinate me, as while I share some traits and behaviors with them, when it comes to socialization they almost seem like they are neurotypical. They almost seem like a contradiction, but they really aren't.

I think the socialization often looks much different than neurotypical socialization. Neurotypical extroverts usually seem to be more into parties, sports, and such. My extroversion is more like enthusiastic chatter about some newly learned fact, idea for an experiment, sighting of a new bird or insect, ect. while tripping over the table and chair legs because you're too excited about the topic to notice them even though you were able to be so extremely careful with the equipment you were using earlier in the day when you were alone in your room.