what are your quirks with others?

[simplyme]

I tend to find it difficult to engage with several people at once and prefer one on one interaction (i don't like parties) , i also tend to be pushed to the side in groups and end up on the outskirts of the conversation.
I also have difficulty reconnecting with people I haven't seen in a long time. they may have stayed the same and/or we still may have alot in common but it just doesn't feel 'right' to me when they try to engage and i usually end up avoiding them and never giving us a chance to reconnect to see if were still compatible.
how about you?

 

[Lichen]

I am naturally gregarious, so I don't get pushed aside in convos - I usually incite them. LOL But I am aware that some of my comments make people pause and sort of look at me askance. I don't understand why, so I have to push down the panic. I don't like to be hugged, since that physical contact makes me very uncomfortable, however I do allow people to do it - they mean well and I don't want to make them feel slighted. It isn't worth it. It isn't all about ME. I also fight to maintain normal eye contact - eye contact if prolonged freaks me out.

 

[csanon]

I also much prefer one-on-one interactions. I also tense up with open-ended questions like "what's up?" or "how are you?". Sometimes I can come up with something random and go with it if I'm feeling calm, and other times the anxiety just makes me tense up.

 

[simplyme]

when I'm asked open ended questions like that I tend to use reflexive stock phrases like "not much" or "fine" even when that isnt exactly the case. I generally don't like to tell people when something is wrong unless I got to them specifically to tell them so i havent broken the habit. I also find that when I try to be mean or insult people I'm very bad at it but when I say something with out thinking I can be positively scathing. does anyone else think faster than they can talk? i tend to do it and stumble over my words to the point that i need to start over and rethink about what I'm trying to say

 

[csanon]

Yeah,
I used to have that problem but I found that with regular meditation and deep breathing I am able to coherently gather my thoughts before stating themthem.

 

[Lichen]

Simplyme - I guess I'm a little confused as to why you would want to perfect "meanness" skills? LOL

I do get confused during speech. I tend to travel in academic circles, and my professional leads me into technical conversations. It's frustrating, because I feel I sometimes must sound like an idiot, I get so tongue-tied. I do understand what I want to say, but from brain to speech it gets confused. I do much better "on paper" than face to face.

 

[imagesbyholly]

Simplyme- I'm the same way. Jokes too- when I mean to be funny in person it often doesn't work, but then I'll say something in all seriousness, and people will absoloutly crack up and tell me how funny I am.

 

[Soup]

@ Holly: Same here. I've been told I'm hilarious with a dead-pan sense of humour but the thing it I wasn't being funny.

My big issue with others is not being touched. I can't stand the way some people have to grab, hug, kiss, arm rub, shake hands, whisper in ears...why is all this so necessary? Since much in the NT social world is about sending off & picking up signals, I've wondered what signal i may inadvertently be sending that makes the other person think I want these forms of contact to happen, but I can never guess it right.

 

[Nolan1971]

Who else always some how sneaks up on people without meaning to and scares the crap out of them!:laugh:

 

[Butterfly_Lady]

lol like I told you earlier, that is definitely me :laugh:

 

[wyverary]

Who else always some how sneaks up on people without meaning to and scares the crap out of them!:laugh:

I do this ALL THE TIME! Maybe I just have no idea to signal someone for attention.

I also dislike being hugged. It's okay when it's just a short one, not too tight; but some people have a tendency to sort of smother me. Worst is when they include caresses (of arms, back, etc.). I can tolerate it when I really like the person, and it's hard to ask them not to do it without offending them at least a little.

 

[Bay]

I tend to find it difficult to engage with several people at once and prefer one on one interaction (i don't like parties) , i also tend to be pushed to the side in groups and end up on the outskirts of the conversation.
I also have difficulty reconnecting with people I haven't seen in a long time. they may have stayed the same and/or we still may have alot in common but it just doesn't feel 'right' to me when they try to engage and i usually end up avoiding them and never giving us a chance to reconnect to see if were still compatible.
how about you?

Simplyme, you just described me perfectly.

 

[Cerulean]

Who else always some how sneaks up on people without meaning to and scares the crap out of them!:laugh:

Oh my god I do. Apparently I'm super quiet or something.