What do you think about social skills training for adults on the spectrum?

[catharus]

Hello all, this is my first post on the forum. I'm a Clinical Psychology student who is not on the spectrum. I'm posting because I would like to hear opinions of people on the spectrum about social skills training for adults with ASD. First, let me clarify that I'm talking about social skills training that usually occurs in group format and is designed to teach people with ASD how to interact with others in a manner that is more like typical individuals who are not on the spectrum. For example, there is the PEERS program, which takes people with ASD through many aspects of social interaction and breaks down everyday social interactions into component parts so that they can be learned and practiced/replicated by people with ASD.

I have mixed feelings about these social skills training programs. The research results are mixed, but it seems that they may offer some value in terms of increased social skills, particularly to children and teens on the Autism spectrum. There is very little research on these programs for adults, so empirical support is not there for them because the studies haven't been done (seemingly not because of negative results). However, people are still conducting these types of programs for adults, because they have some face validity (teaching social skills seems like something that should be helpful for people who have poor social skills).

On one hand, I see that these training programs are intended to offer some training that could make someone's life a bit easier or more enjoyable (although that is certainly open to debate and needs more research), may teach how to avoid making those around you uncomfortable, etc. On the other hand, I am concerned that these programs are offensive because they seem to imply that people with ASD should be more like typical people without ASD. Perhaps things aren't quite this black and white, and these programs can be done in a way that respect the uniqueness and inherent value of people with ASD, but provide training on skills that are desired by people with ASD. However, I am not certain that the programs usually maintain this balance.

Another concern that I have is that, in my experience with adults on the spectrum, some social skills are unlikely to be learned by some people. (This isn't true for everyone, or for all social skills.) I've seen some adults with ASD routinely be reminded for YEARS to speak more quietly, make eye contact, be polite in various ways, be more flexible, etc, and these efforts have been fruitless. In my mind, after these reminders had been in place for a while, it became unreasonable for typical individuals to keep asking the person with ASD to develop these skills. The reminders/teaching clearly weren't working, and were unlikely to work at any point in the future. Since some of these things are covered in social skills training progams, this raises the concern for me that these programs will serve to remind some people with ASD of their differences, point out that they are not "normal", but not really provide a way to change them (because maybe, for some people, they can't be changed). Perhaps, for these people, self-advocacy skills would be more useful that training on social skills.

Anyway, here is my question: What do you think about social skills training programs, particularly for adults? Have you participated in any and found them helpful? Are there certain things that should be avoided? How can the balance be maintained between respect for uniqueness and support for gaining useful skills?

 

[Ste11aeres]

Like you, I have mixed feelings about such programs.
For one thing, Aspies are not all in the same place, socially.
I've encountered some who genuinely were clueless. However, the most obviously socially-clueless people I've known had no idea they were Aspies (obviously, they were undiagnosed.)
In my experience, people who are aware they are Aspies, are highly self aware. They have usually spent years observing people and analyzing the principles of social behavior.

In other words, the people who would most need such programs are the ones least likely to use them (because they are usually not-self-aware, and don't know they have a need).
The people most likely to A. know they are aspies, and B. want to improve social skills, are self-aware people-observers, who are likely to have already taught themselves everything that would be taught in such a program.

I think such programs could be useful for some teenagers and children. But not for adults. I was horrible socially as a teenager, but not now as an adult, especially since discovering my own ASD, I have spent much time studying social and human relationship stuff. As I said, I think such programs could be highly useful for teenagers and children. But not for adults.

On one hand, I see that these training programs are intended to offer some training that could make someone's life a bit easier or more enjoyable (although that is certainly open to debate and needs more research), may teach how to avoid making those around you uncomfortable, etc. On the other hand, I am concerned that these programs are offensive because they seem to imply that people with ASD should be more like typical people without ASD.

I really like what you wrote right there I've had some very close friends with ASD, and I wouldn't want them to be different.

 

[Spinning Compass]

I have mixed feelings as well. For one thing, I think that a very common temptation would be to go for an one-size-fits-all program for reasons of economy, and we know that that won't work. Could I benefit from social skills training? Undoubtably, but it would have to take into account where I am now and go from there.

I agree that those who are most in need of this training are less likely to seek it, while those of us who are aware that there are things about us that are getting in the way of where we want to be are more likely to already be seeking it in other ways. For example, my company has workshops on how to handle difficult situations. The key problem though, is motivation and self-awareness. If you are not motivated to change, if you lack the self-awareness to change, you will be content with the situation as is and never seek to find what your real limits are.

The problem facing neurotypicals when dealing with people on the spectrum is that they don't know what a particular person is capable of changing and they don't know how to find out. Is the person with the loud voice truly incapable of moderating his or her volume or is that person simply content to be the way they are despite all the social setbacks involved? This is going to be more and more of an issue for supervisors and managers as more of the high-functioning autistic generation makes its way into various workplaces. The workplace as presently constituted has no idea what is coming and does not know how to deal with it.

 

[Vanilla]

Hello all, this is my first post on the forum. I'm a Clinical Psychology student who is not on the spectrum. I'm posting because I would like to hear opinions of people on the spectrum about social skills training for adults with ASD. First, let me clarify that I'm talking about social skills training that usually occurs in group format and is designed to teach people with ASD how to interact with others in a manner that is more like typical individuals who are not on the spectrum. For example, there is the PEERS program, which takes people with ASD through many aspects of social interaction and breaks down everyday social interactions into component parts so that they can be learned and practiced/replicated by people with ASD.

I have mixed feelings about these social skills training programs. The research results are mixed, but it seems that they may offer some value in terms of increased social skills, particularly to children and teens on the Autism spectrum. There is very little research on these programs for adults, so empirical support is not there for them because the studies haven't been done (seemingly not because of negative results). However, people are still conducting these types of programs for adults, because they have some face validity (teaching social skills seems like something that should be helpful for people who have poor social skills).

On one hand, I see that these training programs are intended to offer some training that could make someone's life a bit easier or more enjoyable (although that is certainly open to debate and needs more research), may teach how to avoid making those around you uncomfortable, etc. On the other hand, I am concerned that these programs are offensive because they seem to imply that people with ASD should be more like typical people without ASD. Perhaps things aren't quite this black and white, and these programs can be done in a way that respect the uniqueness and inherent value of people with ASD, but provide training on skills that are desired by people with ASD. However, I am not certain that the programs usually maintain this balance.

Another concern that I have is that, in my experience with adults on the spectrum, some social skills are unlikely to be learned by some people. (This isn't true for everyone, or for all social skills.) I've seen some adults with ASD routinely be reminded for YEARS to speak more quietly, make eye contact, be polite in various ways, be more flexible, etc, and these efforts have been fruitless. In my mind, after these reminders had been in place for a while, it became unreasonable for typical individuals to keep asking the person with ASD to develop these skills. The reminders/teaching clearly weren't working, and were unlikely to work at any point in the future. Since some of these things are covered in social skills training progams, this raises the concern for me that these programs will serve to remind some people with ASD of their differences, point out that they are not "normal", but not really provide a way to change them (because maybe, for some people, they can't be changed). Perhaps, for these people, self-advocacy skills would be more useful that training on social skills.

Anyway, here is my question: What do you think about social skills training programs, particularly for adults? Have you participated in any and found them helpful? Are there certain things that should be avoided? How can the balance be maintained between respect for uniqueness and support for gaining useful skills?

Hi, and welcome

Self-diagnosed Aspie here. I believe that a program like this could be beneficial to those who have recently been diagnosed, or who struggle more than others, and wish to learn more.

It's true, that many Aspies have had to learn NT ways, in order to adjust to the world, and many get by fine without help. In saying that, I think it would be encouraging though to have a program which allows Aspies to meet, share their experiences, and engage with one another, and help one another discover how to better understand more complicated social skills.

The reason this would help, is because we are great at learning new social skills, but aren't always exposed to enough to adapt as easily. I grew much as a person from receiving help from a group of friends, as and adult, who taught me how normal people act in relationships, and explained how men think, as I was confused. It helped A LOT!

Many Aspies do want to learn, but I agree with what you say, that they may not to want want to be changed; they may be content with who they are, so I imagine it would be more like trying to learning interview techniques, as opposed to a lecture on how to behave.

 

[Turk]

Hi,
As a self diagnosed Aspie, I have mixed feelings about this as well. I have seen a small support group in action and the results were a little disappointing but not surprising. Firstly, once the group came together, many shut down and offered nothing, in the way of feedback. The ones that did benefit from this social exercise, found it useless outside, the sterile environment of the classroom. Factors, such as noise, visual distractions, smell and proximity of people, impacted so heavily on the test group, that any benefit was short lived. I do see merits in social education, but there are more factors that need to addressed, for it to be effective.

Cheers
Turk

 

[theduckrabbit]

At this point in my life i do not want to put more energy into doing social nonsense that i hate. I dont. Make nt's less uncomfortable? What about what makes me uncomfortable?

So i will learn the art of small talk? So my coworkers will like me more? Ugh. Then they might want to talk to me more, even be friends...

I have a friend. One friend, yeah, who i live with and on occasion even have sex with, and i have four cats. The inn is full.

 

[paloftoon]

At this point in my life i do not want to put more energy into doing social nonsense that i hate. I dont. Make nt's less uncomfortable? What about what makes me uncomfortable?

So i will learn the art of small talk? So my coworkers will like me more? Ugh. Then they might want to talk to me more, even be friends...

I have a friend. One friend, yeah, who i live with and on occasion even have sex with, and i have four cats. The inn is full.

Learning this art will help you survive more easily. You don't necessarily have to befriend people. Maybe it be best to tell people you have plans and you don't want to discuss what they are. If you need someone to repair a house, your TV, or things like that, you still have to communicate with people for those kind of things at least. Wherever you're making money, there's likely going to be at least a little bit of social talk. You may not like it, but it does not mean that you should avoid it 100% either. Baby steps.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I think they'd be a good idea, but I'd have highly mixed feelings about participating myself.

Make nt's less uncomfortable? What about what makes me uncomfortable?

And that's pretty much why. I have this argument almost constantly with other people. "Why am I always having to coddle you? Why are you so demanding? Were you neglected and abused as a child and now you must control everything around you to suppress the pain of being helpless back then? Why can't you just accept me as I am? I'm not asking you to act any differently or go out of your way, what gives you the authority or right to demand that I do what you want when I'm not causing anybody harm and I'm quite happy?"