what do you think about someone who threatens suicide and then wont answer your calls?

[Tanya]

My new friend has a husband with no patience for her drama, maybe with good reason

 

[Southern Discomfort]

It can definitely come across as quite unempathetic; you shouldn't play the suicide card if you're not actually a danger to yourself, that's playing with people's emotions. It's what someone with borderline personality disorder might well do.

I think if this is something they just generally do, honour their unresponsiveness and give them space to cool down. It isn't a nice thing to do but that's probably the best way to handle such a situation.

 

[Tanya]

Thanks for the tip. I'll look up borderline personality disorder. I care about this person, but I realise I'm going to have to be firm with my boundaries.

 

[AspergerianYogi]

I agree with Southern Discomfort - having your emotions played with like that consistently is unfair to you.

I work in a school, so my immediate reaction upon reading this is to follow what would be protocol in a situation like that which is to call the ambulance and have them pick her up and bring her to the hospital to get her evaluated. Whether or not this ends up being effective is a whole other thing - the person of interest usually knows the game being played and plays right back with all the right answers to get them out of the hospital diagnosis-free, although more often than not the doctor has gone through this enough time to call ******** on them, find something to work with, and prescribe a regimen. Have you already gone through this with your friend? If not, then do it - you can't communicate a clearer message about boundaries. If you have, then keep trying different approaches that lovingly push her toward getting professional help - eventually she'll get the hint that you're taking her pain as seriously as she believes it to be, which will in turn put her in a position to reflect on how her behavior is affecting the people she loves.

 

[Tanya]

I agree with Southern Discomfort - having your emotions played with like that consistently is unfair to you.

I work in a school, so my immediate reaction upon reading this is to follow what would be protocol in a situation like that which is to call the ambulance and have them pick her up and bring her to the hospital to get her evaluated. Whether or not this ends up being effective is a whole other thing - the person of interest usually knows the game being played and plays right back with all the right answers to get them out of the hospital diagnosis-free, although more often than not the doctor has gone through this enough time to call ******** on them, find something to work with, and prescribe a regimen. Have you already gone through this with your friend? If not, then do it - you can't communicate a clearer message about boundaries. If you have, then keep trying different approaches that lovingly push her toward getting professional help - eventually she'll get the hint that you're taking her pain as seriously as she believes it to be, which will in turn put her in a position to reflect on how her behavior is affecting the people she loves.

Thank you for your message. I just had a call from her and she's OK, she played it down and said she "slept in" Judging by how dispassionate her husband is , she's done this before. I've set some boundaries with her now.

 

[AspergerianYogi]

Thank you for your message. I just had a call from her and she's OK, she played it down and said she "slept in" Judging by how dispassionate her husband is , she's done this before. I've set some boundaries with her now.

Glad this got resolved!

 

[StephF]

Definitely sounds like borderline PD

 

[Tanya]

Definitely sounds like borderline PD

Probably, I ended up getting her out of my life. I don't regret it either. She turned out to be pretty toxic