I think motorcycles always represented freedom and travel to me and I loved them. In high school I told my parents that all I wanted for graduation was a motorcycle and I was going to do like "Then Came Bronson" and just ride from town to town doing odd jobs for money for food and gas. Didn't happen, but that was my dream - I just wanted to go and feel the wind in my face. I rode on back of bikes every opportunity I had - mostly dirt bikes. When I was 50 I finally learned to ride one myself on a dirt bike and had a blast on that thing - wiped out a few times, but loved it. I moved up to a street bike, but by this time with my neck issues causing all the numbness in my hands and arms it was hard to control the gas, clutch and brake with my hands. I rode some - preferred riding alone, but had to keep it short because the numbness. And I did quickly learn that spiders can be a danger when one is swinging on it's web in front of your face shield.
But I learned that you don't want to take bike trips with a narcissist. When we first got married I talked my husband into getting a bike with side compartments and we would drive to Montana on it instead of driving his van. I learned a lot from that - when people would ask me how I was able to do it I gave the same answer. You don't have a choice - when your 1000 miles from home and that's your only means of transportation, you have no choice but to climb back on that thing and go. I learned it takes longer to get anywhere because you have to make more frequent stops - not just for gas, but also for your back and bottom's sake.
And I learned that you don't take a long trip on a newly purchased used bike. Driving through Chicago - the bumpiest interstate in the country probably - one of the luggage compartments just detached and popped up, which I somehow managed to catch it in the air so we didn't lose it. That happened twice, actually, as we drove through Chicago and my husband finally tied it down so it wouldn't keep popping off.
Driving through South Dakota was interesting. Ever drive through SD? It's windy. I think we rode through the entire state leaning one way then the other due to the wind. And then it started raining. We had rain gear, but it still felt wet - and cold - even though when we stopped it'd be hot. There's not a lot of motels and places to stop through South Dakota either. I remember sitting on back of the bike, cold and wet, singing 'Sunshine on my shoulders'.
But what I learned most was that riding on the back you have not control whatsoever. That was our honeymoon and that's when I started seeing a bit of control going on. He always stopped to rest at a spot that there would be absolutely nothing for me to do and he'd lay in the grass and take a nap. He couldn't stop at a little diner or western shop with stuff I could go inside and browse. And he'd find motels that were not close to any shops and stuff so I couldn't go shop or anything while he watched golf on tv in the room. He did get a room once (oh - I always had to pay for the room) at the edge of town once and I walked a little over a mile to get some pictures developed). And one of the things I most looked forward to was spending time in Apgar Village inside Glacier Park. That's where I planned to pick up something for each of my kids and mom and grandkids and have shipped. We were there 5 minutes and he says he has a headache and we have to go. Ugh!!!!! As soon as we got to a motel away from any shopping, though, he was fine and went golfing. Did not go over well with me - I knew that might be the last time I ever got to Apgar Village to find all kinds of neat moose stuff and maybe picnic overlooking Lake McDonald and the rugged mountain peaks sitting on the other side of the lake. Well, that did it - from that point on when he would motion that his shoulders needed rubbed while driving down the road I refused to acknowledge it.
So we used to ride on weekends and would end up sitting hours in a rocking chair outside a bike shop while he and other bikers shared stories and I hated it. So he would ask if I wanted to go and I would ask if that's what he had planned to do and he would say no, we'll ride over the mountain - which I did enjoy. So I would go and we'd stop at the bike shop and he'd end up spending too much time there that we didn't get to go riding across the mountain. I stopped going.
He took away my love for motorcycles, and now instead of seeing them as freedom, I see them as a trap.
No purpose to this - just sharing a story.
But I learned that you don't want to take bike trips with a narcissist. When we first got married I talked my husband into getting a bike with side compartments and we would drive to Montana on it instead of driving his van. I learned a lot from that - when people would ask me how I was able to do it I gave the same answer. You don't have a choice - when your 1000 miles from home and that's your only means of transportation, you have no choice but to climb back on that thing and go. I learned it takes longer to get anywhere because you have to make more frequent stops - not just for gas, but also for your back and bottom's sake.
And I learned that you don't take a long trip on a newly purchased used bike. Driving through Chicago - the bumpiest interstate in the country probably - one of the luggage compartments just detached and popped up, which I somehow managed to catch it in the air so we didn't lose it. That happened twice, actually, as we drove through Chicago and my husband finally tied it down so it wouldn't keep popping off. Driving through South Dakota was interesting. Ever drive through SD? It's windy. I think we rode through the entire state leaning one way then the other due to the wind. And then it started raining. We had rain gear, but it still felt wet - and cold - even though when we stopped it'd be hot. There's not a lot of motels and places to stop through South Dakota either. I remember sitting on back of the bike, cold and wet, singing 'Sunshine on my shoulders'.
But what I learned most was that riding on the back you have not control whatsoever. That was our honeymoon and that's when I started seeing a bit of control going on. He always stopped to rest at a spot that there would be absolutely nothing for me to do and he'd lay in the grass and take a nap. He couldn't stop at a little diner or western shop with stuff I could go inside and browse. And he'd find motels that were not close to any shops and stuff so I couldn't go shop or anything while he watched golf on tv in the room. He did get a room once (oh - I always had to pay for the room) at the edge of town once and I walked a little over a mile to get some pictures developed). And one of the things I most looked forward to was spending time in Apgar Village inside Glacier Park. That's where I planned to pick up something for each of my kids and mom and grandkids and have shipped. We were there 5 minutes and he says he has a headache and we have to go. Ugh!!!!! As soon as we got to a motel away from any shopping, though, he was fine and went golfing. Did not go over well with me - I knew that might be the last time I ever got to Apgar Village to find all kinds of neat moose stuff and maybe picnic overlooking Lake McDonald and the rugged mountain peaks sitting on the other side of the lake. Well, that did it - from that point on when he would motion that his shoulders needed rubbed while driving down the road I refused to acknowledge it.
So we used to ride on weekends and would end up sitting hours in a rocking chair outside a bike shop while he and other bikers shared stories and I hated it. So he would ask if I wanted to go and I would ask if that's what he had planned to do and he would say no, we'll ride over the mountain - which I did enjoy. So I would go and we'd stop at the bike shop and he'd end up spending too much time there that we didn't get to go riding across the mountain. I stopped going.
He took away my love for motorcycles, and now instead of seeing them as freedom, I see them as a trap.
No purpose to this - just sharing a story.
