What is an Aspie?

[Shaun-Junior Bishop]

Just to make it clear, I'm not asking what the word "Aspie" is, I'm an Aspie myself, I just have only come to terms and acceptence of it about 2 years ago. I was just wondering, what do you guys all see as a universal Aspie? Because it annoys me that when I tell people I am as a respond to "why are you so intense? Why are you so loud? Why do you always have your rubix cube in your hand? Why dont you shut up? Why are you so dry or ask stupid questions?" And as soon as I mention autism they say "no your not, you dont act like someone with it. I've looked after people with autism plus my brother has it" and it then takes me 30 minutes to explain it to them and for them to notice I am and it's really annoying.

What would you guys say are your biggest traits? I would say I'm pretty high functioning but in the sense I'm not. I can talk very well sometimes, I can be soical bir it drains me and it takes so much out of me to not stim intensely that I'm so tired afterwards. I have problems with eye contact with people I dont know or trust and I get very obsessed with stuff very quickly. Even if it's a hobby of someone that is talking to me. I also dont care about how messy my room is because I see it as a place to sleep and that's it and I have this thing were if I'm talking to someone and they cut me off. My brain goes crazy and I end up having to finish what I was saying even if it causes an argument?

I guess I just want to learn more about it from people that understand and hear what types of traits people have

 

[LadyBird84]

I don't really relate to the term 'aspie' myself, because I was diagnosed using the DSMV and therefore am just diagnosed with 'high functioning autism'. Also the people I know IRL who have Aspergers are very good with words and I'm very much not.

I relate to people around me thinking autism always means some kind of disability or a low IQ or mutism or just Rain Man. Which is why I haven't told many people, but I realize by doing that I'm not improving the situation.

I'll have to think about your question for a little bit as I'm not sure (yet).

 

[Graphin]

don't really relate to the term 'aspie' myself, because I was diagnosed using the DSMV and therefore am just diagnosed with 'high functioning autism'. Also the people I know IRL who have Aspergers are very good with words and I'm very much not.

No matter how good I am with words, IRL I would definetly not be anymore.

 

[Shaun-Junior Bishop]

I don't really relate to the term 'aspie' myself, because I was diagnosed using the DSMV and therefore am just diagnosed with 'high functioning autism'. Also the people I know IRL who have Aspergers are very good with words and I'm very much not.

I relate to people around me thinking autism always means some kind of disability or a low IQ or mutism or just Rain Man. Which is why I haven't told many people, but I realize by doing that I'm not improving the situation.

I'll have to think about your question for a little bit as I'm not sure (yet).

Yeah I understand that, I tend not to go by the term aspie as well, because from everyone I've met I dont seem to be similar or even remotely the same. I tend to tell people if asked that I have H.F.A but the majority of the time they dont know what that is and picture a severely autistic person so I say aspergers and if they ask I say I'm more H.F.A. it annoys me as well because I grew up very much mute and was put in all the lower grade classes and didnt learn to read or tell the time until a late age but I grew up with a family that didnt know I was autistic and I truly believe it helped me improve my speaking. I can be very good at talking when speaking logically or honest but as soon as people start asking about emotions or stuff that isnt black and white I struggle so much with it. When I asked my ex girlfriend to be my girlfriend it toke me 20 minutes mumbling and not knowing what to say.

I hope to hear your response soon

 

[Otenba]

This sort of thing is why terms like "Asperger's" are being phased out and everything put under "Autism Spectrum Disorder" so even the so called "higher functioning" ones can get support they need.

Joys of having an invisible disability - people always looking for ways to invalidate your existence and tell you you're lying about your needs, or telling you that you can be as abled as a non-disabled person when it suits them (employers do this, for example).

This stigma happens with so many disabilities. Dunno how to tackle it beyond just keep raising awareness and fighting ignorance. Do get sick of doing that though, leaves you feeling really uncared about and isolated when no one listens to your genuine struggle just because you appear "normal".

 

[Shaun-Junior Bishop]

This sort of thing is why terms like "Asperger's" are being phased out and everything put under "Autism Spectrum Disorder" so even the so called "higher functioning" ones can get support they need.

Joys of having an invisible disability - people always looking for ways to invalidate your existence and tell you you're lying about your needs, or telling you that you can be as abled as a non-disabled person when it suits them (employers do this, for example).

This stigma happens with so many disabilities. Dunno how to tackle it beyond just keep raising awareness and fighting ignorance. Do get sick of doing that though, leaves you feeling really uncared about and isolated when no one listens to your genuine struggle just because you appear "normal".

I honestly can not relate more to what you just said. I struggle such but mentally. I hold it all back and keep to myself because society has become so negative that if you say you need support or try and justify something with your autism they make out you are using it as a way to get out of trouble or lying. The only reason why I used aspie in the title is because I wasnt sure if the term was used as an autistic person on this site so I apologise because I'm not an aspie myself

 

[Progster]

What makes an Aspie? Lots of things, but when it comes down to it, a psychiatrist or team of pyschiatrists assessing you and deciding (from their perspective) that you meet a predetermined set of criteria/characteristics set out in the DSM IV, or the DSM 5 now, and giving you a diagnosis of ASD level 1. It's just a label, a word and doesn't mean a lot in itself. Aspies vary a lot, and are those core characteristics to varying degrees plus whatever personality they may have, the essence of each person is different so perhaps there isn't such a thing as a 'universal Aspie'.

 

[Onna]

and it then takes me 30 minutes to explain it to them and for them to notice I am and it's really annoying.

Just get super socially awkward on their asses until they feel uncomfortable. Then they’ll believe you!

 

[Otenba]

I honestly can not relate more to what you just said. I struggle such but mentally. I hold it all back and keep to myself because society has become so negative that if you say you need support or try and justify something with your autism they make out you are using it as a way to get out of trouble or lying. The only reason why I used aspie in the title is because I wasnt sure if the term was used as an autistic person on this site so I apologise because I'm not an aspie myself

You're okay. No worries!

I've spent most of my life not knowing about possibly being autistic (over 30+ years!) and so I've had to do a lot of research to try and understand it better now I'm more aware. It's been so hard trying to work out how things are with others really are now, with keeping my potential autism in mind, but being aware of the autism possibly has also made it easier for me to forgive myself for things I would be angry at myself for in the past.

Making those adjustments has been challenging. I feel dissonance regularly while in this state. I have to remind myself that it is okay to feel this way, and that I need to be patient while I work out my life now.

I look forward to seeing what my NHS assessment says considering I've always struggled to feel I belong in the world.

It sounds like you're as mixed up as me about realising we could potentially be autistic, what it means, and how we can manage our lives now so we're happier from now on.

I wish you the best in finding your new place in the world with your new found self knowledge.

 

[Catana]

First, there's no such thing as a "universal" aspie.
Second, if you don't want to get into arguments about whether you are or aren't autistic, then don't mention it. People are either biased about it or just don't give a hoot. Instead, if you feel you have to answer, then stick to the particular question. Why do you have a rubix cube in your hand? Because you enjoy playing with it (or whatever). Basically, such questions put you on the defensive. There's no law that you have to answer if you don't want to. If you want to get into it with the person, turn it around and put them on the defensive: "Why do you want to know?" Or: "Why do you care?"

Are you going to spend your entire life trying to explain yourself to people who really don't care what your reason is, who just don't want to deal with anyone who's not just like them?

You could also take an honest look at yourself and consider whether there are some behaviors that you can modify. If there's general agreement that you speak too loudly, consider that some people might have just as much trouble dealing with that as you do some of the things that bug you. Not everything has to be a fight between neurodiverse and NTs. Courtesy cuts both ways.

 

[Fino]

I'm incredibly awkward, say odd/inappropriate things, make little eye contact, fidget a lot, etc. so the few times I've told someone it was mostly met with, "ohhhh, THAT'S why," and other such stuff.

If someone said something like, "You don't seem autistic," I'd probably say something like, "And you don't seem gay, but life's a mystery."

Now I hope that happens!

Actually someone said exactly that to me once, while I was wasted at a party, and my answer was, "THAT'S BECAUSE I AM VERY DRUNK!" right in her face.

I think I handled that well.

 

[Shaun-Junior Bishop]

First, there's no such thing as a "universal" aspie.
Second, if you don't want to get into arguments about whether you are or aren't autistic, then don't mention it. People are either biased about it or just don't give a hoot. Instead, if you feel you have to answer, then stick to the particular question. Why do you have a rubix cube in your hand? Because you enjoy playing with it (or whatever). Basically, such questions put you on the defensive. There's no law that you have to answer if you don't want to. If you want to get into it with the person, turn it around and put them on the defensive: "Why do you want to know?" Or: "Why do you care?"

Are you going to spend your entire life trying to explain yourself to people who really don't care what your reason is, who just don't want to deal with anyone who's not just like them?

You could also take an honest look at yourself and consider whether there are some behaviors that you can modify. If there's general agreement that you speak too loudly, consider that some people might have just as much trouble dealing with that as you do some of the things that bug you. Not everything has to be a fight between neurodiverse and NTs. Courtesy cuts both ways.

I wasnt trying to be defensive or cause an argument? I was just asking if there was any relations to each other that's all. It's my first time being in a virtual environment where everyone has a similar connection that's all. To be honest I don't tell people I'm self diagnosed because the amount of professionals I have already spoken to being in the autistic work industry is to many to count and all point me to the day direction. It's just about getting that piece of paper that allows me to get the support I cant get at the moment. I'm in the process of it, this thread wasnt about having to prove myself as autistic but as to struggling with having something that is sometimes invisible

 

[Judge]

We have a saying here...and no doubt elsewhere in so many autistic communities.

"If you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie".

For all the common or similar traits and behaviors we may or may not share, they are also to be found at different amplitudes. Making for quite a diverse lot of people on the spectrum.

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Well, if somebody calls themselves an Aspie or something similar, it could mean any of these four different, but somewhat similar, things:

1. They are officially diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and they use the term to describe themselves either because it's the particular Autism Spectrum Disorder, or to give themselves a sense of identity/community.
2. They have self-diagnosed themselves with Asperger's Syndrome specifically, or are in the process of getting diagnosed with it, and they use the term to give themselves a sens of identity/community.
3. They are either officially diagnosed different ASD, but prefer to call themselves an aspie to either give themselves a sense of identity or community, or just because "aspie" sounds better to them.
4. They have self-diagnosed themselves with a different ASD, but prefer to call themselves an aspie to either give themselves a sense of identity or community, or just because "aspie" sounds better to them.

Personally, the 3rd one is what I relate to the most when I call myself an aspie.

 

[Shaun-Junior Bishop]

Well, if somebody calls themselves an Aspie or something similar, it could mean any of these four different, but somewhat similar, things:

1. They are officially diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and they use the term to describe themselves either because it's the particular Autism Spectrum Disorder, or to give themselves a sense of identity/community.
2. They have self-diagnosed themselves with Asperger's Syndrome specifically, or are in the process of getting diagnosed with it, and they use the term to give themselves a sens of identity/community.
3. They are either officially diagnosed different ASD, but prefer to call themselves an aspie to either give themselves a sense of identity or community, or just because "aspie" sounds better to them.
4. They have self-diagnosed themselves with a different ASD, but prefer to call themselves an aspie to either give themselves a sense of identity or community, or just because "aspie" sounds better to them.

Personally, the 3rd one is what I relate to the most when I call myself an aspie.

I think I'm a mix between 2 and 4. I've been told by a few doctors that I'm on the spectrum and had counseling about it and was put on medication but it was incorrect and now I'm in the process of trying to get officially diagnosed but I dont think I think into having aspergers but more on the lines of HFA, I just use the term aspie pr aspergers because its alot more widely known. Thank you for that

 

[Catana]

I wasnt trying to be defensive or cause an argument? I was just asking if there was any relations to each other that's all. It's my first time being in a virtual environment where everyone has a similar connection that's all. ...

I think there's a misunderstanding here. I wasn't accusing you of trying to start an argument or being defensive here. I was referring to your statement that you tell people you're autistic when they challenge you about something. I was suggesting that you'd avoid arguments if you just stuck to the particular thing they're objecting to. Maybe I wasn't very clear.

 

[Tom]

No one is an 'Aspie', any more then a person is an Acne or Tennis elbow.

You are a human being. Unique more or less.

You have a condition called autism. Some have it quite mild, some have it severe, most are in between.

I don't identify myself by conditions.

 

[Adora]

There isn’t just one way of being Aspie,sure we may share some similar traits or even struggles but saying that our personalities can still be very different to each other,I recently had someone pick up that i am on the spectrum even though no one mentioned anything before and I had previously believed that most people wouldn’t even pick up on it but I was wrong,but if I were to think of how someone would pick up on it would be that I have poor eye contact,I am awkward in social situations and I tend to misinterpret sarcasm or that someone is messing around with me,another possible sign to others is I can go on too much about one topic and while I do try to not do that anymore I can still get stuck in that loop,but sadly there are people who only have that stereotypical idea of what autism is like and they may think that all autistics are more on the lower functioning side but they don’t call Aspergers the invisible disability for nothing because to some we may appear like that we are absolutely fine but they don’t know what is happening inside you.

 

[SusanLR]

I never tell anyone I am HFA or Aspie as I find most people don't understand what autism spectrum disorder truly is.
There has been a stereotype and stigma attached to it for too long. Yes, everyone thinks Rainman.
I use the term Aspie because when I was diagnosed, the term Aspergers was still in use and that is what
my psychologist and psychiatrist called it. I had never heard of it in my life until 3 yrs. ago when diagnosed.
I only tell other doctors if I feel it may be of help for them to know. And I told the man I share the
house with since you can't live with someone day after day with them knowing you're seeing psychologists.
They want to know why. And it is obvious to whom ever you live with that there are certain Rainman-ish or Monk-ish traits. Can't keep the mask on 24/7.
So I just use Aspie since that was the term I first learned.
And I hate to see it phased out since it means you are High Functioning which others seem to
understand with the word Aspergers vs Autistic. No need for further explaining in case somone does
pick up on your traits and should ask about them.

@Shaun-Junior Bishop since most haven't given you a lot of common traits that I think you
were looking for because we are varied, I will give you my most common.
The more common traits for me that I call Aspie are things like eye contact avoiding, food issues,
upset if routine is broken, sensory sensitivities, some OCD actions, uncomfortable with socialising,
anxiety and stimming, not understanding the way people verbally try to convey things at times and
reverse that with they don't understand the way I verbally express things sometimes.
They can be insultive with remarks like "why do you have to go around the world to explain something?"
Or " You just don't understand it, do you? I see that blank look on your face."
I get this from people who know me well enough to be blunt.
Having special interests that I am rather obsessive about and physically awkward also.

 

[Spiritbear25]

Just to make it clear, I'm not asking what the word "Aspie" is, I'm an Aspie myself, I just have only come to terms and acceptence of it about 2 years ago. I was just wondering, what do you guys all see as a universal Aspie? Because it annoys me that when I tell people I am as a respond to "why are you so intense? Why are you so loud? Why do you always have your rubix cube in your hand? Why dont you shut up? Why are you so dry or ask stupid questions?" And as soon as I mention autism they say "no your not, you dont act like someone with it. I've looked after people with autism plus my brother has it" and it then takes me 30 minutes to explain it to them and for them to notice I am and it's really annoying.

What would you guys say are your biggest traits? I would say I'm pretty high functioning but in the sense I'm not. I can talk very well sometimes, I can be soical bir it drains me and it takes so much out of me to not stim intensely that I'm so tired afterwards. I have problems with eye contact with people I dont know or trust and I get very obsessed with stuff very quickly. Even if it's a hobby of someone that is talking to me. I also dont care about how messy my room is because I see it as a place to sleep and that's it and I have this thing were if I'm talking to someone and they cut me off. My brain goes crazy and I end up having to finish what I was saying even if it causes an argument?

I guess I just want to learn more about it from people that understand and hear what types of traits people have

God I can't stand when people do that. There is a reason Autism is a spectrum disorder and not just a disorder. You can't compare one autistic or aspie person to another autistic or aspie person. People need to get over the fact that people don't have to have the stereotypical traits to be on the spectrum. There are a number of things that put you on the spectrum and for some people, symptoms may be more prominent than others. I am very high functioning aspie but, like you my social abilities plummet when around strangers. I can't stand doing small talk, I always have to be even the slightest bit early to everything otherwise I think other people will hate me if I'm late, I get stuck when I start watching videos and have a hard time getting out of them. I could go on but seriously the next time someone says "You don't look autistic" respond to them "if you've met one person with autism, you have only met one person with autism." Basically if you've met only one person with autism, you've only met one spot on the spectrum, there are still thousands of spots on that spectrum.