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What to do if I hurt my autism friend’s feeling ?

Y

Yn0t

New Member
Hello all,
This is totally off topic but I would really appreciate if you all can give me an advice.
I verbally hurt my male friend’s feeling and after that I found out he has autism. I realized that he believe literal, so what I said hurt him deeply I know. He blocked me so I cannot communicate with him, but we have a mutual friend and she is willing to take a chance to talk to him.
Would you please tell me what is the best way for her to communicate with him ? I hope that at least he will give me a chance to talk to him again.
 
If he wants to speak to you again, prepare an honest apology. Explain why you said what you said, what made you realize you were wrong and how you’re planning to do better in the future. Don’t just say you’ll do better, explain what steps you’re taking to prevent making the same mistakes again.

If your friend doesn’t want to speak to you, cease attempts at communication. Trying to reconnect once is okay, after that you should respect his boundaries. If your friend wants to reconnect, he’ll let you know.
 
@Yn0t,...part of the autistic condition is varying degrees of difficulty with perspective taking. Part of this is the "wiring" in the brain. Part of this is the resultant ways we can have difficulties with taking in verbal and non-verbal communication,...the facial micro-expressions, voice modulation, body language,...all of it. Every autistic is an individual, some will have more difficulties than others,...but do keep this in mind. Furthermore, it is very common for autistics to be described as "neurodivergent" or "out-of-the-box" thinkers,...in some cases this is a great thing with regards to problem solving,...in some other cases, it can result in rejection and hurt feelings.

Now, here on the forums, members here will discuss these things,...we learn,...we become more self-aware,...and in some cases, become better people as a result of it. Furthermore,...if you are "neurotypical",...make no mistake,...you too, can fall into the trap of not taking another's perspective, not being open to another's personal truth,...and then creating conflict. The US political divide is a classic example of this phenomenon.

If you are having a difference of opinion with an autistic individual, my best advice,...have a calm discussion,...but don't have an emotional argument,...and both of you be open to perspective and context,...and avoid blanket statements that are inherently flawed.
 
Tom said:
What did you say that hurt his feelings?
Click to expand...

He gave an opinion about what I said, and I told him his thought was long and complicated…and yeah…I think he understand it as I dont want to talk to him and he bothered me
 
Yn0t said:
He gave an opinion about what I said, and I told him his thought was long and complicated…and yeah…I think he understand it as I dont want to talk to him and he bothered me
Click to expand...

Ok. That isn't really too bad. You can try an apology. If it works good, if not oh well, lesson learned. Just try once though and leave it in his court to respond.
 
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