In general I don't have meltdowns that much... a had a minor one a few weeks ago, and then about a year ago. I"m probably really good at avoiding such situations.
As a kid it was harder because I was being picked on, that resulted in meltdowns and lots of fights cause of it. Pretty much everyone in school thought it was "fun" to see someone freak out and have a meltdown.
So what triggers it? In general anything that gets me out of my comfort zone. And my comfort zone in generally is a weird place I guess. So getting a letter by mail requiring me to adhere to a different mindset and take action pretty much sets me off halfway of going on a violent rampage and wanting to burn down the house. Yes... I'm well aware of my rather "explosive" nature in that aspect... hence I asked my mom to act as some sort of "filter" and pretty much all written mail is now adressed to her, to where she'll talk to me about it. That works reasonably fine, since she'll approach me when I'm most easy and mellow and as such it wont hit me that hard on any given day. So, that's one way of trying to avoid meltdowns and all. But it's not just mail... pretty much anything that gets me out of my personal routine, can set off a trigger. Ranging from a badly planned appointment, a spontaneous situation outside.
Last time I had a meltdown was because I chipped my tooth. It wasn't so much that the tooth itself stressed me, but more because it was A. unexpected and B. I thought it was the filling my dentist put in a few years ago. I'm fine with a chipped tooth, not with an exposed nerve. And I didn't really want to go through the hassle of getting it fixed with added bills.
And about a year ago I had an argument with my dad. My mom called me for dinner, but since I didn't hear it, they got kinda irate. Fact was, I wasn't listening to music or anything, I was just reading, and I was totally immersed in the article I was reading. So that ended in an argument where he was like "well.. then don't imerse yourself in anything"... which I found unreasonable, but he wasn't having any of that. That ended of in my mom playing referee while I ended up smashing my head against the wall out of sheer frustration because I was about to carve my dad's face up, and refrained from doing so. That's also when I just got into therapy for my diagnosis.
Besides that; I avoided stressful situations for most part for over 10 years. I don't know if it's "avoidant behaviour" as such... cause to be honest, I'm well aware of my explosive temper, which can get quite dangerous with that, so trying to avoid that is in any way much better and healthier for me as well as people around me.
I should also add, I'm not ticked of THAT easily most of the time. I can be reasoned with and talked to. That is, IF people actually want to listen to me and be within reason. If you're starting a personal argument with me (as in; face to face), you'd better have about 10 hours of spare time because I can easily go into a verbal boxing match with someone half a day. If you're not up for that, then yes... I'm going the easy way and probably break your nose (amongst other things). And most of the time I'll go through the issue mentally first. Depending on how I feel, this can go rather fast or slow. I'll likely assess the situation first. But sometimes it's so obvious that this isn't going anywhere. So with each problem and possible meltdown I'll go through a reasoning process to see if there's an alternative. Quite often there is... but if there's the "I'm not having any of this"... then I'm not having any of your ****** unreasonable attitude.
Looking at for instance relationships; I never got violent against any of my ex-girlfriends. I'm way cool with those I guess... but with that I'm quite sure that some girls who don't care for talking a lot over an issue, wouldn't be my type in the first place.
If anyone thinks I'm an "extreme case" with my violent temper now... 20 years back I was way worse... by a long shot. As a kid I took doors of hinges already... my parents wanted to throw me out of the house when I was 6 or so because I was unbearable... so yeah. I had therapy and all for that, and I got to manage it better... and that's what I'm doing now. Making sure you're not in that predicament in the first place. So if anyone blames me for avoiding it... well it's how therapy learned me to cope with it.
Also; avoiding situations... from what I've observed from other people with autism in general is that some don't get that verbal to call of a situation to make it stop. That might be a bit introvertness or shyness I guess. I'm well capable and verbal to tell someone to quit whatever it is they're doing to avoid such a situation. That's also what helps me a lot. Sometimes I just don't want my girlfriend touching me because it's annoying me/stressing me out. I get all irritable and I'll just tell her to stop it. Also; I don't really want to indulge on social situations to eventually pull the plug on whatever the essence of the social gathering would be, just because it's annoying me. So I just avoid those things completely.
My mom however is on stand-by for emergency services whenever I have an appointment at the job center. It never got out of hand there (not with me at least; with my dad it has)... but those are a prime example of "an unreasonable mindset" on top of pretty much 0 knowledge about any disability or issue someone might have and is seeing (or has seen) a therapist for. And to be honest, it's silly because they are aware of how silly they can get... lots of people aren't allowed in anymore and they have security officers all over just in case someone goes mental and gets physical. And I doubt it's just the people that have to go there that aren't able to solve their issues "within reason".
I don't really have shutdowns as that... just a few of violent episode meltdowns. But rarely any in recent memory.
