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What true story about your pet is improved by.....

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Blue/Green
Staff member
V.I.P Member
What true story about your pet is improved by
referring to your pet as your room mate? :)
 
Example:

Once I had this roommate who used to hide her food.
It didn't bother me until one night when I was going to bed
and my bed spread was bundled up in a heap on the floor.
I picked it up and shook it and a huge meat covered bone fell on my foot.

I asked my roommate if she knew
where it came from and she just stared at the wall.
She acted like I wasn't even talking to her.

I showed her the bone and she just turned her head away.
 
My room-mate was an omnivore and I used to be a vegetarian. Often, the scent of pate like meat would make me feel nauseous when I entered the kitchen. The difficulty was that my room-mate couldn't operate a can opener.

She was especially fond of dried pork ears as an evening snack. Often I could hear her crunching on the things in the living room as I made my own meals. For a time there was silence and the sound of the door closing, then the screen door opened again and it became quiet. I looked in to see my roomie asleep on the chesterfield.

Later in the evening, I locked the doors and turned off the lights and went upstairs to bed. My roomie, now awake, followed me up, and slept in her bed beside me. The following morning, my room-mate went outside immediately, I heard the screen door flap slam.

While I was making coffee she entered the kitchen with something hanging from her mouth that looked like a large flap of skin. Looking more closely I recognized one of her favourite's, a pigs ear somewhat covered with soil, but soft and dangly.

She had buried it in the garden soil and had gone out to dig it up that morning, the result was that the pigs ear had become soft again. My room-mate was so happy with her discovery, that she did a little dance in the kitchen. All the while the pigs ear flopped up and down, with a slapping sound, then she gulped it down without chewing it.
 
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My room mates loved to hear me play guitar. But they especially loved the song "wish you were here" by pink floyd. When they would hear the acoustic guitar intro they would stop what they are doing an do the happy wing stretch some parrots do that is comparable to a dog wagging it's tail when it's happy. My roommates would usually by nature react in fear and scramble a way when a large object is brought up close to them. However when I brought the guitar up close to them experimentally the first time, it resulted in the "happy parrot stretch." That just put me in a big smile and I thought it was the coolest thing. Eventually just seeing the guitar brought out sometimes resulted in the happy stretch.
 
I used to go out to this one fast food joint all the time with my Dad. Our room mates came along with us because they like car rides. The thing is, they couldn't come in with us because it would violate local health codes. Frankly, it was justified. Whenever we looked outside, there they were, fevierishly licking the windows to keep themselves occupied while we ate our burgers.

Anyway; my dad is a smoker, and he smoked a lot in our car. He also ran a home business at the time, which involved a lot of driving around to meet with clients. As you can imagine, our car smelled like an ash tray. We figure that our room mates (who really, really liked car rides) must have inhaled a bit too much second hand smoke because one of them (let's call him George) started acting strangely. Every morning, for several days, George would stare at my father as he lit up his cigarettes. The look in his eyes was one of fixated madness, but none of us expected what would happen next. One day, george just snapped! He lunged at my father and ate his cigarette. This did not go well for George. He immediately went into a violent sneezing fit, blowing ashes all over the car as he sputtered and wheezed.

After that, George gave up on cigarettes, unsure of what my father saw in them. It was probably for the best.
 
My roommate has no shame and stares at me and drools when I'm eating a meal. I hate people watching me eat. His drool is really off-putting
, I can't eat another mouthful when he skootches along side me and let's his tongue flop out of his mouth. He is bright eyed and happy, I am annoyed and hungry.

My roommate has some awesome party tricks, he can lick his own privates.
If it was freezing temps outside and we approached a road crossing, he had a habit of sitting on the floor before he crossed the road. He'd gingerly lower his naked testicles until they made contact with the freezing ground.
I made him an appointment with a specialist in the end and had them whipped off. He never made half the fuss my husband did when I organised the same for him.

He can scratch his own ear with his foot and lick his own leg effortlessly. Have you ever tried that? Not as easy as it looks.

If I was walking in the park with my roommate and there were any sluts within a two mile radius, he turned from Forrest Gump into Tom Hardy in the blink of an eye. He grew taller in stature and started showing off and being silly.
I was highly embarrassed when I discovered he had no qualms about "dogging" in broad daylight.

My roommate can be running along, all motivated and enthusiastic about a great cardio workout and suddenly stop to poop on the grass.... in front of mothers with small children ...what's that all about? ...I have to pick it up after him.

My roommate behaves like he's won the lottery on seeing me again after a short absence. He is far too happy first thing in a morning, he has an endless supply of energy and has to bounce around my garden to work some of it off...I'm still sleepily bouncing off the walls and trying to find the kettle like a blind person first thing.

My roommate is embarrassing, his breath and feet smell, he drools, has no shame in walking around with a tennis ball in his mouth, ignores my acquaintances even after being formally introduced, likes me to lead him around on a collar, farts in front of guests, licks my car windows and won't wear a seat belt, runs after snowballs.

My roommate runs into the middle of a field after a tennis ball I haven't even thrown yet...he always falls for that ...10 years I've been doing it and the penny still hasn't dropped.

My roommate has such an enthusiasm for life itself, it can be infectious.
 
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My roommate has no shame and stares at me and drools when I'm eating a meal. I hate people watching me eat. His drool is really off-putting
, I can't eat another mouthful when he skootches along side me and let's his tongue flop out of his mouth. He is bright eyed and happy, I am annoyed and hungry.

My roommate has some awesome party tricks, he can lick his own privates
If it was freezing temps outside and we approached a road crossing, he had a habit of sitting on the floor before he crossed the road. He'd gingerly lower his naked testicles until they made contact with the freezing ground.
I made him an appointment with a specialist in the end and had them whipped off. He never made half the fuss my husband did when I organised the same for him.

He can scratch his own ear with his foot and lick his own leg effortlessly. Have you ever tried that? Not as easy as it looks.

If I was walking in the park with my roommate and there were any sluts within a two mile radius, he turned from Forrest Gump into Tom Hardy in the blink of an eye. He grew taller in stature and started showing off and being silly.
I was highly embarrassed when I discovered he had no qualms about "dogging" in broad daylight.

My roommate can be running along, all motivated and enthusiastic about a great cardio workout and suddenly stop to sh*t on the grass.... in front of mother's with small children ...what's that all about? ...I have to pick it up after him.

My roommate behaves like he's won the lottery on seeing me again after a short absence. He is far too happy first thing in a morning, he has an endless supply of energy and has to bounce around my garden to work some of it off...I'm still sleepily bouncing off the walls and trying to find the kettle like a blind person first thing.

My roommate is embarrassing, his breath and feet smell, he drools, has no shame in walking around with a tennis ball in his mouth, ignores my acquaintances even after being formally introduced, likes me to lead him around on a collar, farts in front of guests, licks my car windows and won't wear a seat belt, runs after snowballs.

My roommate runs into the middle of a field after a tennis ball I haven't even thrown yet...he always falls for that ...10 years I've been doing it and the penny still hasn't dropped.

My roommate has such an enthusiasm for life itself, it can be infectious.

Sorry this is about pets,not your husband.
 
I never knew which room mate stashed the body
in the attic. In fact, I knew nothing about it until the
blood started dripping through the ceiling.
 
I was taking a stroll with my room mate when a bunch of school girls approached and started stroking her body. She was aloof as she was preoccupied with the possibility of seeing a scary dog.
 
Another of my roommates sits motionless for long periods of time. Apart from their eyes.
Their eyes follow family members and visitors around the room.
I think my roommate has already plotted a demise and is making a final decision about who wouldn't be any great loss to society.
 
My roommate enjoys catching flies, but not as much as he enjoys leaving them next to my pillow while I sleep. That's how he pays rent.
Creepy roommate, I guess.
 
My roommate is very hairy and likes to lick himself all over. Sometimes he licks the other roommates, too, and they lick him as well.
 
We've just invited a new, younger roommate to share our home with us and have discovered he licks windows and tries his best to eat roadkill and snails when unsupervised.
 
It was a dark and stormy night (;)), my roommate was afraid and shaking and made low moaning sounds as I opened the closet door for her to hide. We slept together in the tiny closet with piles of blankets and pillows and a small lantern that glowed through the night.

In the morning we crawled out of the closet on 'all fours', to see what damage the storm had done. There were tree branches ripped down by the force of the wind and rain, my roommate picked up a branch with her teeth and began to run with it, running and jumping everywhere with the piece of wood in her mouth. She didn't help with the clean up of branches, except to chew on them and scratch at them on the ground.
 
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I have two roommates and they have very different personalities. One is really cruisy and pretty much goes with the flow no matter what. The only thing that bothers her is if someone comes to the house and then she really shouts at them at the top of her lungs. I've tried to stop her doing this because I hate shouting but so far nothing has worked. I have to put a special anti- shouting necklace on her when I go out because she bothers the neighbours.

My other roomie is much more like me. She tends to get anxious in new situations and hates it when strangers approach us when we're out. She watches me all the time to try and figure out what I'm thinking. I don't think she likes it when our other roommate shouts either and she knows I don't like it. She will occasionally join in though but only if she thinks she is protecting me.

I'm beginning to wonder if she might be an Aspie too!
 
My gray haired room mate seems to be a rather forgiving fellow.
The day I didn't look behind me and I shut his neck in the screen door,
he didn't say a thing about it, then or later.
 
My roommate has a dubious concept of privacy and personal space: not only does he headbutt my butt cheeks every time he is standing on furniture and I pass him by, he also insists on opening the door and jumping to sit in my lap whenever I go to the toilet.
 

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