What's the biggest hint you missed?

[All-Rounder]

Heard it, folks. It's time to open up Pandora's box. Stop here, have a drink and share the story of the biggest hints missed from someone who was interested in you that you later on [too late] devastedly understood.

Eg.:
One time I was on a trip and was laying by a girl as we were watching the meteor shower in our sleeping bags.
Her: You should zip in with me, itd be much warmer if we could cuddle together.
Me: I don't think there's enough room. +Zips myself up+
Two years later I ask her why we never hooked up, cause I like her so much. She points out this exact moment as I realize how oblivious I had been to it. We could've been dating all these years had I picked up on it at the time.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Well...I can't say which hints I missed, because I missed them.

There were several times when, after leaving a social situation with my family, a dentists office, etc., one or both of my parents would tell me, "That girl was flirting with you. You should have asked her out." My response was usually something like, "She was? When?" I would usually think, if she wanted to go out, why didn't she just say so?

One time, my Mom read a yearbook entry and said, "This girl liked you. She would have dated you if you asked her." I said, "How could you tell?" Her answer: "I just know." ...which just left me thinking, "How do you expect me to figure this out next time if you can't tell me how to tell when someone likes you?"

 

[Nervous Rex]

There are also hints that I deliberately ignored. One time, my brother's girlfriend came over and brought a friend. I wasn't interested in her, but my brother and his girlfriend went for a walk. I didn't know why they brought her out and then left her here, but I figured it wasn't my job to entertain her. So, I sat on the living room couch reading a book.

Her: "Whatcha doin?"
Me: "Reading"
Her: "What?"
Me, holds up book: "Book"
I don't remember what else she said, but at one point I said that it was real nice outside and she should join my brother and her friend on their walk. She said they were already out of sight. I shrugged my shoulders and kept reading.

In my defense, it was a really good book.

 

[Pats]

Yea, I think I missed a few - but am fine with it. This one guy I had been talking to and went out with once said I should come to his house and sleep after work (me working nights). He lived almost an hour away and I was only 15 minutes from work so I asked, "Why would I do that?" U kind of wondered why he didn't call me again after that, but I never could figure out why I would go to his house to sleep when I could go home and sleep.

 

[All-Rounder]

My story happened on a certain website, in the public chatroom, except that I had been the one on the hinting side. Im not too sure if he got it or not, he appeared to be flirting back. Thing is, he had not been around after that, either he wasn't interested in dating,, in dating at that certain time, in me, in online, or... he couldn't conceive such a thing could ever in reality happen. The good ol' Dating?I-hear-about-it syndrome, or the No-chance-itll happen-to-me contagion a.k.a. low self estimate which is commonly found in friendship groups.

One day I was single, and had just gotten a bit over the breakup blues. Given that, I was quite perceptive of the men in the chatroom, and I became pretty flirty with a particular one. Butterflies, excitedness came quite easily, and all that jazz. We had talked before but this time it seemed we had some more shared knowledge that the rest of the chatroom didn't share. We talked a bit, then he told someone of how he likes to ride a bike chasing the train, and I said we should ride together, chasing trains. He said something like he cant do it because Im too far away. I said he better get a helicopter, and he said he'd come over swimming the whole ocean through. I just thought he was so sweet and the next days I was hanging around waiting for him to come around again. But he never came.

Moral: Take chances until its ob[li]vious.

 

[All-Rounder]

Part 2 to my story: some other guy entered, and started flirting with me, at the same time I was flirting with guy #1.

At first I thought 'what are you doing?' I thought he was trying to tell guy #1 he would date me if he was guy #1, or steal me from guy #1?! But I really liked the first guy, and I thought the 2nd was kinda rude.

Eventually, since the 1st was not around, I flirted with the 2nd and I thought he might want to date, but he told me he can't, it was way too soon, he had just ended a marriage and his old ex had come around and he was interested in her as well, but he liked me. Heartbroken was I, but oh well, I hooked back with my ex eventually too. Win-win. The winnage of exes.

Might have missed some hint there from him.

 

[Fino]

The only times I know I've missed it was when people told me they liked me for some time and that I had been oblivious for however long that was. The problem was that most of the "nice" things they meant as flirting are things I just do for people.

 

[All-Rounder]

The problem was that most of the "nice" things they meant as flirting are things I just do for people.

Gasp! You eternal flirt, you!
Does that involve winking instead of hello?

 

[Fino]

Gasp! You eternal flirt, you!
Does that involve winking instead of hello?

LOL Do people actually wink as a way of flirting in real life? That sounds like a caricature of something from the distant past, like a cowboy winking at a "dame".

 

[grommet]

I was sitting on a couch speaking to a friend of my roommate who was visiting. I liked this girl and I thought she liked me. We sat and talked for a long time. Then I got up to go to the kitchen and when I came back, she was sitting in the middle of the couch so there was no place for me to sit, so not want to be rude and make her move I sat on the arm of the couch.

I found out later she had moved where she did so when I came back I would have to sit closer to her. What a mistake I made.

We did end up dating and were together for three years.

 

[grommet]

Yea, I think I missed a few - but am fine with it. This one guy I had been talking to and went out with once said I should come to his house and sleep after work (me working nights). He lived almost an hour away and I was only 15 minutes from work so I asked, "Why would I do that?" U kind of wondered why he didn't call me again after that, but I never could figure out why I would go to his house to sleep when I could go home and sleep.

Now you are making me wonder about something. A few years ago a woman I liked said I could stay over at her place instead of going home. But I lived only a few minutes away so I couldn't make any sense of her offer, I even thought she was being kind of dumb. Now I wonder if she wanted my company.

 

[Pats]

Now you are making me wonder about something. A few years ago a woman I liked said I could stay over at her place instead of going home. But I lived only a few minutes away so I couldn't make any sense of her offer, I even thought she was being kind of dumb. Now I wonder if she wanted my company.

See! Exactly - wouldn't make sense. lol

 

[Nervous Rex]

Now you are making me wonder about something. A few years ago a woman I liked said I could stay over at her place instead of going home. But I lived only a few minutes away so I couldn't make any sense of her offer, I even thought she was being kind of dumb. Now I wonder if she wanted my company.

This is why I hate hints. If you’re going to be vague, then I have to guess at what you mean. But if I guess wrong, it blows up in my face. Why can’t you just directly tell me what you want!!!

There was one time a little before Christmas, when I told my wife, “I need to know what you want for Christmas.” She said, “Are you kidding? I’ve been dropping hints left and right!” ... So then she gave me a printed list - that year and every year afterward. It turns out that getting what you want beats being surprised.

 

[tlc]

There were several times when, after leaving a social situation with my family, a dentists office, etc., one or both of my parents would tell me, "That girl was flirting with you. You should have asked her out." My response was usually something like, "She was? When?" I would usually think, if she wanted to go out, why didn't she just say so?

My dad would often say that, he would point out that someone was flirting with me. Typically a waitress. I'd be like that's her job to make everybody feel special and hope she gets a bigger tip.

When I was about 20, I was alone at a restaurant near closing time. The one remaining waitress maybe a few years older than me kept coming and sitting down at my table, all smiling and chipper, trying to make conversation, and I think she brought me like 5 lemonades on the house (before the days of free refills). She was cute, kinda looked and sounded like a young Edie McClurg. She had to have been flirting with me and I was on the market, but I had no idea what to say in person. I did much better when I got online about a year later.

But I've had plenty of experience with relationships. I don't regret any missed opportunities that way.

 

[Nervous Rex]

There was one time in high school when I was practicing a phonetic alphabet I had read about in a science magazine and one of my classmates asked what I was doing. I enthusiastically explained the alphabet and showed him how to write a few words.

He asked, "How would you write 'antisocial'?"

I showed him and then went back to practicing the alphabet

It was weeks later that I figured out why he chose such an odd sample word.

I can get a hint, just not in the moment. It dawns on me later as I remember and reanalyze the conversation.

 

[Pats]

A few weeks ago I was getting annoyed by this man behind me in the check out line. He kept standing next to me instead of behind me and kept talking to me. I'd answer questions but was trying to figure out what the heck he was doing. Even when I got to the register he approaches the register with me, even though another one just opened up. The cashier had to step outside to get this lightweight, metal out door chair I wanted, so I started thinking, "Darn - this guy's in a hurry obviously and now he has to wait for her to go get my chair." Once my stuff is paid for, he sets his stuff on the counter and says he'll be right back to pay for it and picks up the chair and says he'll carry it to my car. I said it's light but he doesn't set it down and follows me to the car with it. I finally get the chair into the car and get in and he goes back inside. My daughter in law was like, "Man, was he ever flirting with you." I was like, "What??? I thought I was annoying him."

 

[All-Rounder]

LOL Do people actually wink as a way of flirting in real life? That sounds like a caricature of something from the distant past, like a cowboy winking at a "dame".

Who knows, the plumber always winked to mom before grabbing her butt. I have a feeling he winked to all the ladies, though. Including his wife.

 

[All-Rounder]

A few weeks ago I was getting annoyed by this man behind me in the check out line. He kept standing next to me instead of behind me and kept talking to me. I'd answer questions but was trying to figure out what the heck he was doing. Even when I got to the register he approaches the register with me, even though another one just opened up. The cashier had to step outside to get this lightweight, metal out door chair I wanted, so I started thinking, "Darn - this guy's in a hurry obviously and now he has to wait for her to go get my chair." Once my stuff is paid for, he sets his stuff on the counter and says he'll be right back to pay for it and picks up the chair and says he'll carry it to my car. I said it's light but he doesn't set it down and follows me to the car with it. I finally get the chair into the car and get in and he goes back inside. My daughter in law was like, "Man, was he ever flirting with you." I was like, "What??? I thought I was annoying him."

Such white knighting.

 

[grommet]

A few weeks ago I was getting annoyed by this man behind me in the check out line. He kept standing next to me instead of behind me and kept talking to me. I'd answer questions but was trying to figure out what the heck he was doing. Even when I got to the register he approaches the register with me, even though another one just opened up. The cashier had to step outside to get this lightweight, metal out door chair I wanted, so I started thinking, "Darn - this guy's in a hurry obviously and now he has to wait for her to go get my chair." Once my stuff is paid for, he sets his stuff on the counter and says he'll be right back to pay for it and picks up the chair and says he'll carry it to my car. I said it's light but he doesn't set it down and follows me to the car with it. I finally get the chair into the car and get in and he goes back inside. My daughter in law was like, "Man, was he ever flirting with you." I was like, "What??? I thought I was annoying him."

I am concerned about this situation. There is a concept called "forced intimacy". It is when stranger forces a way for there to be a connection between you eg. carrying what you bought to your car. You didn't ask him to, he did not accept your reason for his help not being needed and did it anyway. Now he and you are in something together - managing your things, and he is near you and your car. It seems this situation ended benignly but I am suggesting you be aware of strangers forcing ways to be close to you.

 

[Iamnotarabot]

he story of the biggest hints missed from someone who was interested in you that you later on [too late] devastedly understood.

Well, I didnt realy care about the fact that I didnt see it because I wasnt realy interested in the first place...

*Clear throat" let me share you a story from 10 years ago xD

A girl in my class loudely said that she liked guys with bear, and everyone turned to me because I was the only one with one at the moment, and I was just like ?????????

Then few days later, the same girl came to class wearing a black dress + lipstick I dont know what she was doing, she was always wearing casual clothes and all of a sudden she was cosplaying a james bond girl...

Another person had to tell me that it was because she was interested in me...I missed it.

She invited me to her home and we went out some other day, at this point I knew but I had no clue what to do nor what to feel.

Few days later she sent me a pages long message saying how stupid and childish I was ( I had no clue I had to dress up for instance)
Well ok xD