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You beat me to it.Sitting here on my pc. I have access to endless amounts of information and, when I'm in need of them, computer games. It's quiet, it's a predictable environment and it's away from people.
My only refuge is laying down on my bed and visualizing.
I see a lovely little angel, holding me in her arms, cooing, injecting me with a needle to end my life. As soon as I'm gone, she lifts me up and carries me to heaven.
In good time that'll be reality, sort of.
That makes me sad, why say that?