Dr_Magnusson
New Member
...but I got here, that's what counts.
Dx. about a year ago, but always wondered what's wrong. I'm absolutely like an unfeeling machine in my marriage and it finally all came to a head. Not sure whether we are gonna stay together.
Politics played a big part post-Trump. We are extreme opposites, me right and her left. After the Capitol thing and my opinion she became completely unhinged. You Trump folks will relate when I say of course I'm a racist, misogynist Nazi that belongs in a mental hospital. Yeah, she really said it. That hurt.
So she has one end of the house and I have mine...
I abhor starting off on that note but I held it in for months and being true aspy I shut all systems down and keep alone as much as possible. I'll eat crow before I do confrontation... when it does happen I hit both afterburners and I'm outta there.
This A.M. she showed me an Aspberger's vid trying to understand why I am what I am (been much worse since Jan.6) and while I know how I'm wired, finally my feelings about her comments surfaced and I tried to express how much the remarks hurt. Shouldn't-a-said a word, it just made things worse.
I feel like the next 'wheels up landing' I won't be walking away from.
I've been diagnosed aspy since ~2019 but before that-and 17 hospital stays-I got diagnosed everything in the book. I have an excellent therapist who finally hit on the overactive amygdila (sp) and my dr. started Limictal, which helps, but not enough.
My over-reaction to relationship stuff drives me to the point of figurative suicide, meaning, I-don't-wanna-end-my-life-but-I-don't-wanna-be-here syndrome. I know what to do with relaxation techniques but, now, the anxiety is running away like a jet engine in overspeed.
So what do I do? Normal day is get up, drink reams of coffee trying to wake up enough to function, get on the computer, have a snack, get on the computer, maybe dinner, get on the computer... you get the picture. I really would rather be alone without female confrontations to be honest.
So here I am, trying to deal with all this.. thanks for reading.
Dx. about a year ago, but always wondered what's wrong. I'm absolutely like an unfeeling machine in my marriage and it finally all came to a head. Not sure whether we are gonna stay together.
Politics played a big part post-Trump. We are extreme opposites, me right and her left. After the Capitol thing and my opinion she became completely unhinged. You Trump folks will relate when I say of course I'm a racist, misogynist Nazi that belongs in a mental hospital. Yeah, she really said it. That hurt.
So she has one end of the house and I have mine...
I abhor starting off on that note but I held it in for months and being true aspy I shut all systems down and keep alone as much as possible. I'll eat crow before I do confrontation... when it does happen I hit both afterburners and I'm outta there.
This A.M. she showed me an Aspberger's vid trying to understand why I am what I am (been much worse since Jan.6) and while I know how I'm wired, finally my feelings about her comments surfaced and I tried to express how much the remarks hurt. Shouldn't-a-said a word, it just made things worse.
I feel like the next 'wheels up landing' I won't be walking away from.
I've been diagnosed aspy since ~2019 but before that-and 17 hospital stays-I got diagnosed everything in the book. I have an excellent therapist who finally hit on the overactive amygdila (sp) and my dr. started Limictal, which helps, but not enough.
My over-reaction to relationship stuff drives me to the point of figurative suicide, meaning, I-don't-wanna-end-my-life-but-I-don't-wanna-be-here syndrome. I know what to do with relaxation techniques but, now, the anxiety is running away like a jet engine in overspeed.
So what do I do? Normal day is get up, drink reams of coffee trying to wake up enough to function, get on the computer, have a snack, get on the computer, maybe dinner, get on the computer... you get the picture. I really would rather be alone without female confrontations to be honest.
So here I am, trying to deal with all this.. thanks for reading.
