When Criminals Break Into Laughter!

[LiberationBattle]

"What is a flower blooming in the city?
Why is it there?
Who the hell cares for that crap?"

More of a rhetorical question as I have my own answer,
but I seem to be the ONE person in existence who feels this.
Any other takers?

At work we have elevator tunes which I'm apprehensive to even call "music".
My managers know what I'm talking about, but they just seem to be able to phase it out. I very much cannot do that.

I feel that I am supposed to be this awkwardly smiling robot most of the time, to do my work and not question it.
I have already had one panic attack, and I feel like screaming most days.
The more I ask people, the more I feel dead inside because they just seem to be able to shrug off my questions and concerns.
Where most people see anxiety and fear as weakness, I see it as strength.
But obviously we have built our society upon blind, unquestioning faith and not ideas.

Sometimes I do get a breakthrough, a day when I can speak to a friendly work colleague about my thoughts and I can feel like myself. But then work calls again and I'm back into my depraved "reality".

I'm not suicidal. I spent six weeks down in various mental wards after my dad died and that felt worse than death because they wouldn't let me listen to my own music.

One day at Arbor Fuller (Don't go there, they lock the bathrooms lest you bash your head open) the midday activity was taking turns with a nurse's phone to play actual music. I tried some light English rock such as Danny Alvarez (who goes by "ShadowLink") and they had absolutely no reaction. Then another inmate plays Mozart and you can see their neurons lighting up. Let me tell you, Mozart doesn't make you any smarter than Boch or Dochevsky. The only reason people play this music anymore is because they see the error of their ways and stop playing modern trash to their children. I'd really be interested to hear about the family that enlightens their unborn child with Kanye West.

Does anyone get this or am I just rambling?

 

[Bolletje]

I don’t really get your point.

 

[SusanLR]

Is it because most people just filter out most of life that exists around them?
I can "zone out" when I feel the necessity to.
But, most of the time it is more like total awareness overload which isn't always bad because you are aware of the flower in a crack of the city pavement.

 

[Mary Anne]

I work at Home Depot and am on my second week. I am screaming inside my head when I hear the same music tracks they play all day long. Same songs multiple times an hour.i am hearing them in my sleep. I am thinking of putting my ear plugs in, but then I would not be able to understand al, the customers that keep asking me questions. Ughhhhh.

 

[LiberationBattle]

I work at Home Depot and am on my second week. I am screaming inside my head when I hear the same music tracks they play all day long. Same songs multiple times an hour.i am hearing them in my sleep. I am thinking of putting my ear plugs in, but then I would not be able to understand al, the customers that keep asking me questions. Ughhhhh.

As a porter, I move around too much, I have to answer customer questions, even listen to the intercom. When I do get to sit down and listen to my music it sometimes feels like im adding to the cacaphony and I go into “overload”