When your special interest drains you

[IntoTheVoid]

Of course, as an autistic person, I have many special interests. However, you might expect that I enjoy all of them, right? Well, sometimes I do. But sometimes, my special interests kind of drain me mentally. Many things have two sides: one is the reason why I love something, and the other can be kind of depressing.

For example, let’s say that my special interest is foxes. I love foxes—I read books about them and so on.

Yes, there are lots of good things about foxes that I like. They’re cute, fascinating, and incredibly interesting. However, there’s also a lot of depressing stuff. For instance, foxes are hunted, killed for their fur, and hated by some people who see them as vermin.

When you want to study something, it’s very difficult to avoid the negative information connected to it. And because of all these depressing aspects, you might feel mentally drained after studying the subject. Sometimes, it even gets to the point where you start avoiding the subject altogether. Then, your special interest turns into the opposite—a kind of special avoidance.

At least, this is how I feel sometimes about certain subjects I’m obsessed with.

So, my question is simple: Does anyone else feel this way? Does your brain get obsessed with something, only for it to eventually drain you so much that you start avoiding it because it makes you feel mentally exhausted, depressed, or even angry? Or is it just me? I’m not really sure how to deal with it.

Thanks for all insights

 

[Xinyta]

I think this may explain why I stepped back from weather. Because I use to be insanely obsessed with it for a good majority of my childhood. Though for me. I think what may of caused me to avoid it, is the fear of tornadoes. They are neat to learn about. But when one is knocking at your door, even if it's the storm itself. It just is anxiety inducing, when one has the potential to produce a tornado. The fear had to of mentally drained me so much, that I just stopped having any interest in it for a long time.

This doesn't stop me from being fascinated by clouds. Or why storm systems are formed. But the want to bury myself in it, is at arms length.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Of course, as an autistic person, I have many special interests. However, you might expect that I enjoy all of them, right? Well, sometimes I do. But sometimes, my special interests kind of drain me mentally. Many things have two sides: one is the reason why I love something, and the other can be kind of depressing.

For example, let’s say that my special interest is foxes. I love foxes—I read books about them and so on.

Yes, there are lots of good things about foxes that I like. They’re cute, fascinating, and incredibly interesting. However, there’s also a lot of depressing stuff. For instance, foxes are hunted, killed for their fur, and hated by some people who see them as vermin.

When you want to study something, it’s very difficult to avoid the negative information connected to it. And because of all these depressing aspects, you might feel mentally drained after studying the subject. Sometimes, it even gets to the point where you start avoiding the subject altogether. Then, your special interest turns into the opposite—a kind of special avoidance.

At least, this is how I feel sometimes about certain subjects I’m obsessed with.

So, my question is simple: Does anyone else feel this way? Does your brain get obsessed with something, only for it to eventually drain you so much that you start avoiding it because it makes you feel mentally exhausted, depressed, or even angry? Or is it just me? I’m not really sure how to deal with it.

Thanks for all insights

With nearly every topic, if you dig into it deep enough, you're likely to find some negative aspects. Some might call it that "Ying and Yang", that balance in nature, for every good, there is a bad. Is your glass half empty or is it half full? What is your focus? You've stated you love foxes. Awesome! Focus your energy in the positive direction, or if you chose, be advocate and get involved in animal rights and specialize in the plight of the fox. What good do they serve in nature? A fox is going to do what they've always done in nature, so how can say, chicken farmers and foxes co-exist? Are there areas where the fox populations are critically low? Can you get involved with supporting reproduction and reintroduction efforts? How can you minimize the negatives and maximize the positives?

One of my special interests is orchids. I have a nice collection. Just went to an orchid show yesterday, in fact. Bought 4 new orchids. Well, many years ago, in the 1800's, only the very wealthy could have orchids, and they did it by paying people to harvest them from the wild. Well, as popularity and demand increased, more people didn't know how to grow them and killed them, and more harvesting occurred, some became extinct and endangered. This is no good. So people said enough is enough and their energies were put into reproduction and creating hybrids that are better suited for the home environment. Knowledge grew within the hobby, we learned how to grow the healthiest orchids. Generations later, the orchid hobby is better for it, the hybrids are much more robust than the original species orchids, the demand for the wild orchids has diminished significantly, and nearly everyone can enjoy growing all manner of orchids in their home.

Those that are in the aquarium and fish-keeping hobby, as well. The same sorts of efforts are being made. Less wild harvesting, more commercial and hobbiest reproduction, and education.

 

[Misty Avich]

I used to have an obsession with certain teachers at school, and I really wanted to be them. So I used to pretend I was one of the teachers I liked whenever I went to my grandmother's place because her kitchen seemed the best place to play pretend school, and I'd get my sister to be the student, as it wasn't really the same playing it on my own. I just had to be my favourite teacher and that was the closest to being my favourite teacher as I could get. But when my sister became a teenager she suddenly preferred hanging out with her friends than playing schools at Grandma's, and while I understood that, I still felt annoyed and angry.

And yes, obsessions did exhaust me. I didn't even like having them. They just took over my whole life. I haven't had obsessions since 2024, just casual interests that aren't exhausting at all and they make me feel normal and in control, if that makes sense.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I’m kind of right there with my dancing. For the past year I’ve been trying to get back into which is hard because the dancing venues are a long drive and require at least one overnight in an Airbnb. I’ve poured a lot of time, money and energy into it, but this weekend, I quit in the middle. I was very unhappy. I came home where I am safe and comfortable again.

 

[Masked Man]

I think you're going to find something negative with anything. There is nothing that is 100% pure. Human beings are capable of terrible things; nature is cruel and harsh; etc. However, there's nothing wrong with enjoying the bits you enjoy. I get happiness from animals. For example, there was a pet store that was near my office. When I needed a mental health break, I would go down to the pet store and visit with the animals for a few minutes.

The dark side of pet stores is that a lot of animals are captured in the wilds (birds as an example) to be bred as pets. A lot of people who buy these birds have no idea how to care for them; they only need to pay the $$ and they now own an exotic bird.

I know all this and all that pains me. However it did not take away the joy I would get just visiting with the little animals when I needed it. You take the sweet where you can.

 

[Tuffsy]

Does your brain get obsessed with something, only for it to eventually drain you so much that you start avoiding it because it makes you feel mentally exhausted, depressed, or even angry?

Yes, I can relate to this. I am usually obsessive about music, but for the past 2 months I have been totally avoiding it. I didn't know exactly why because I enjoyed it so much, then after a great gig in early December I just stopped playing. I'm still processing the reasons behind it and occasionally I look at music forums to see if I can get enthusiastic again but so far nothing. I think there may be emotions involved like depression and anger but I can't put my finger on it.

 

[DeFunkCat]

Of course, as an autistic person, I have many special interests. However, you might expect that I enjoy all of them, right? Well, sometimes I do. But sometimes, my special interests kind of drain me mentally. Many things have two sides: one is the reason why I love something, and the other can be kind of depressing.

For example, let’s say that my special interest is foxes. I love foxes—I read books about them and so on.

Yes, there are lots of good things about foxes that I like. They’re cute, fascinating, and incredibly interesting. However, there’s also a lot of depressing stuff. For instance, foxes are hunted, killed for their fur, and hated by some people who see them as vermin.

When you want to study something, it’s very difficult to avoid the negative information connected to it. And because of all these depressing aspects, you might feel mentally drained after studying the subject. Sometimes, it even gets to the point where you start avoiding the subject altogether. Then, your special interest turns into the opposite—a kind of special avoidance.

At least, this is how I feel sometimes about certain subjects I’m obsessed with.

So, my question is simple: Does anyone else feel this way? Does your brain get obsessed with something, only for it to eventually drain you so much that you start avoiding it because it makes you feel mentally exhausted, depressed, or even angry? Or is it just me? I’m not really sure how to deal with it.

Thanks for all insights

Yes, My playing and writing music is a deep passion/rabbit hole. I love it so much. I’m super nerdy about all my instruments. Always finding a reason to buy one more. If I do more practice or writing than one hour, I’m at risk of my mood plunging. High risk. When this happened it can put me off for a week or so. I get scared. So now I set a timer. Try to maintain some balance.
After an important large gig I’m wiped out sometimes for a week. Such a huge dopamine hit.

 

[Neri]

I just went to a festival to indulge a bunch of my special interests; singing, dancing and spirituality. I went tired, exhausted and came back tired, exhausted. It did "fill my cup" but reminded me of why I gave up professional music making. I am a woman and the whole festival was quite overwhelmingly masculine, as it was created by Hindu men. I did love it, but felt drained as I have spent so much time working with men, living with men, raising men, living in a masculine energy town. No offence meant to the blokes here, I met some absolutely lovely ones, even exchanged numbers with a couple (purely platonic mind you, one was a young fellow I "adopted" [his own mum had passsed] and the other one a young brazillian man who I'm pretty sure was gay) but, I need feminine spaces at this point in my life. Luckily, I live in a women over 50's rooming house now.

 

[velociraptor]

Of course, as an autistic person, I have many special interests. However, you might expect that I enjoy all of them, right? Well, sometimes I do. But sometimes, my special interests kind of drain me mentally. Many things have two sides: one is the reason why I love something, and the other can be kind of depressing.

For example, let’s say that my special interest is foxes. I love foxes—I read books about them and so on.

Yes, there are lots of good things about foxes that I like. They’re cute, fascinating, and incredibly interesting. However, there’s also a lot of depressing stuff. For instance, foxes are hunted, killed for their fur, and hated by some people who see them as vermin.

When you want to study something, it’s very difficult to avoid the negative information connected to it. And because of all these depressing aspects, you might feel mentally drained after studying the subject. Sometimes, it even gets to the point where you start avoiding the subject altogether. Then, your special interest turns into the opposite—a kind of special avoidance.

At least, this is how I feel sometimes about certain subjects I’m obsessed with.

So, my question is simple: Does anyone else feel this way? Does your brain get obsessed with something, only for it to eventually drain you so much that you start avoiding it because it makes you feel mentally exhausted, depressed, or even angry? Or is it just me? I’m not really sure how to deal with it.

Thanks for all insights

 

[velociraptor]

My interests only recharge me. It is everything else that drains me.