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Who here had a bad professional experience and now has hard time finding a job?

TheTremendous

New Member
It's been now 10 months that I been out of job, I got about a decade (10 years) worth of experience, and I have strong technical talent (humbly speaking) as a Data Analyst/Scientist in my profession. But it's possible that my career is very much on a limbo and I may not be able to get to get back to the market again. I don't want to go into great length about my story in this thread and make it a focus point, but the important takeaway is that I could've been more socially smart in what was happening around me at work and other matters which has affected my profession, there was cruelty and abuse involved and certainly wrong was done to me, but had I been smarter with people, some of these things at least could've been avoided.

This thread is dedicated to listen to others who might be in the same situation as I am and have struggles in their career due to having ASD. Whether you have been in that situation but since landed a job, you currently unemployed and seeking to get back, or all together out, please share your story.
 
I had a hard time finding a job when I graduated college last year in December. It put me in a deep spiraling depression and my anxiety didn’t help. I lost my motivation and felt like I would be a failure. In order to get mentally better, I had to take medication and get back on the right track. I was able to get a volunteering job at a thrift store that my grandpa works at.

I know what it’s like to feel hopeless and endure an endless loop of uncertainty while dealing with autism at the same time. I would try and fine places to volunteer to try and gain more experience while helping others. It’s awesome to help people and make sure they have clothes on their backs and food in their stomaches. Volunteering help me gain my motivation and helped me prepare for a real job.

It can help you connected with others and fine people who have similar interests. You can fine people who are just like you and share your experiences with others. I hope this helps you feel better knowing you are not alone in this process. I am rooting for you in this hard time of your life.
 
The workplace can be a minefield with some places more toxic than others. You can be set up by your colleagues to be discarded if they dislike or fear you, you can be talked about behind your back or by the boss in front of custommers, you can be fooled and tricked with "i will eventually... make you a contract" and years pass and the time never comes. When it comes, the date is written in the past, and not present and it's better if you notice it, because there are no health benefits for you.
 
My struggles were with anxiety and paying attention, exective dysfunction is a drag and nobody understands.
 
Your story is pretty similar to a lot of us. Some of us manage to find a niche where we're understood and accepted but for many of us there's a lot of social misunderstanding that escalates in to problems.

We seem to especially have trouble with dominating and controlling characters where as we get along fine with everyone else. I started a thread in here about hierarchal social structures and I think that has a lot to do with it.

I was very successful both with work and socially until I got to about your age, then I burnt out. But I didn't know anything about autism back then, maybe if I did I could have managed myself better.

https://www.autismforums.com/threads/hierarchal-social-structures.44380/
https://www.autismforums.com/threads/autistic-burnout.41208/
 
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I could've been more socially smart in what was happening around me at work and other matters which has affected my profession, there was cruelty and abuse involved and certainly wrong was done to me, but had I been smarter with people, some of these things at least could've been avoided.
This sounds like pretty valuable insight.

I have taken time off to cool down and think in the past. That helped me evolve and do better. I see difficult social situations - especially in the professional world - as a riddle that I have to solve (or as data to analyze?).* I consider it solved when the solution I have found rings right enough. I've had a lot of struggles but have a kind of inner motor/drive to move forward. Maybe it's ego, maybe it's survival instinct. To me, there's always an option that can work, it's a matter of finding it - and if others don't hand it to me, I'll find it myself.

*and then it's a high-stake chess game :)
 
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In the mean time, what can help in your situation is learn as much as you can, volunteer for short term things or something long term so that when you're interviewing, you can say that you're always doing something. Maybe do Instacart part time or something like that so that you have money coming in and a little bit of job experience.
If you have an official diagnosis, especially if you're willing to move and video chat, try networking with people (like myself, lol). There are programs out there that look to hire people on the spectrum. These all are healthy ways to try to get out of your current rut.
 
Thanks guys. I'm doing right now rideshares to keep me busy and earn little cash on the side. The real currency from this is being able to think and reflect back on things that happened and I figured new stuff out in my life, thou some of it has been quite unpleasant. I am in a situation where I have people from my previous employers badmouth me and trying to ruin my career. Obviously you want to be careful with what and who you share, but there are buttons you have to press in interviews when asked about the past and such.
 
Not sure I have much to contribute on strategies and tactics in the world of work, but just to add yet another echo, <polite=on>heck<polite=off> yeah!
Work has been like some sort of sentence of torture sometimes. And not so much the job itself, but navigating everyone else, primarily one's colleagues. But the social/work conflicts and troubles aside, and for what it's worth, my view was as a general rule it's the larger and more profit oriented companies that are the more likely to be a nightmare for non-typical people.

And occasionally it's been a surprise when someone has, seemingly out of nowhere, got my back over some small, but significant thing, but that's people not companies.

It seems the more focussed a company is on profit, the less they are about their own people. Or maybe more accurately, the question is, who are their people? As you go through the environment of these organisations you'll see that "our people" become higher and higher levels of management. While the people who do the actual work to produce that companies profits, are regarded as company resources. These are the companies who most abuse these fake 'badges' of honour, like (in the UK) the "Investors in People" accreditation, which for these companies are just box-ticking exercises that are really investing in profits, not staff. These people can, and will do anything they can to enrich themselves at the expense of their teams, peers, even their shareholders if it's worth doing, and I've seen it myself (not third party stories), and most distasteful it is too.

But for me, the light at the end of the sewer, was, following a most loving and caring redundancy (where's the sarcasm emoji?), when the company found a way to dump a bunch of techies, and replace with an overseas phone support system, after a few years of ill health and unemployment and the sorts of things that go hand in hand with those, I got back into work, via the most fortunate luck of having my CV spotted by a recruiter searching for candidates for an IT position with a non-profit company, working in the healthcare sector, and this has been an eye-opener for me, being so used to commercial sectors.

They are far from perfect, and even have a few glaring issues that I'd never have thought they would being who they are, but that aside (and show me perfection anyway, not seen any myself!) there seems to be a shift of driving forces (unsurprisingly really) with a focus on the bottom line being that of providing the best care possible for their service users. For all their faults, they mostly seem to genuinely care about their staff (who, lets face it, are the company), and while there'll always be some people who should be in their job, generally I feel comfortable, morally speaking as well, working for them. Maybe they are an exception, but I have to wonder how much this sort of ethos is effected by a companies ultimate purpose?
 
I'm now self-employed and have actually been way more successful than I ever was in the traditional workforce. But, being self-employed is not without its issues either, which I will go into more detail about here, since I don't usually talk about the bad parts of my job on here...

There were several jobs that I got fired from because my bosses didn't like me, because I wasn't fast enough and had difficulty following instructions. These were mostly retail jobs.
Outdated is 100% right about social hierarchy though, that was how I got canned from a few jobs. I was a victim of workplace bullying and a lot of people had the bosses wrapped around their fingers.

My last job, I was able to keep for a long time, and I got promoted a few times. My boss had nothing but good things to say about me. But I quit because it was a sales/management position and the customers were so unhinged that I came home crying almost every day. The pandemic just gave me an excuse to quit lol
But I'm still close friends with a few of my former coworkers and hang out with some of them basically every week, so it's not like people there didn't like me. It was me who didn't like the job...

The career I have now, I was able to make happen by offering a service based on a very strong skill that I have (dog training.) I've expanded my business to offer dog daycare, grooming, and boarding now as well, which I do pretty much every day and is basically all I do.

I have one additional employee who works under me, but she is great with dogs and not so great with people. I have to handle the "people" side of things because she isn't very personable and actually has kind of a short fuse with clients (I do too, but not outwardly.)
I had to fire one last summer for being utterly crap at her job and leaving a mess in clients' homes while they were away. I was so embarrassed. She was also horrible to me and was just a mean and miserable person in general. I wish I'd screened her more thoroughly, and now I'm really reluctant to hire anyone else even though I could really use the help. I have built up a great reputation for my business and a great relationship with my clients (most of them even get me Christmas gifts, which they absolutely don't have to do) and I don't want to tarnish that by hiring people who are bad at their job, or too unfriendly or awkward in human interactions. Or irresponsible with animals. The majority of my clients are canine and feline, but I don't just deal with dogs and cats, I have a huge range of other petsitting clients including chinchillas, rats, rabbits, parrots, chickens, guinea pigs, lizards, and tropical fish.
It's a position that requires a dog training certification, a lot of knowledge about many species of domestic animals, and some level of veterinary knowledge. I'm not going to hire just any random joe.

Something I have posted about on here before is dealing with clients who don't pay on time. That was a huge issue I was dealing with for a while. I was advised (by both people on here and irl) to charge a fee for this, and I also now have a customer rewards program which is an incentive to be more responsible.
I charge a fee for last-minute cancellations too, and for calling me in the middle of the night to schedule for the next day. I can't believe I have even had to be in a situation where I have told clients not to call me for non-emergencies at MIDNIGHT.

Last summer, I had a client who boarded her dog with me, and I just happened to be in her house when her electricity went out because she hadn't been paying her bills... that was something I never thought would be part of my job...

This is the kind of stuff I wish I didn't have to worry about, but when you run a business you have to be prepared to deal with all kinds of crazy stuff (that you may not have realized was going on at a traditional job because it was behind the scenes.)

I went on a bit of a tangent as usual, but the basic point of what I'm saying is that I have found way more success and way less stress and anxiety being self-employed, but being self-employed or freelancing isn't for everyone either and also comes with a ton of downsides. Because it's still work.
I love my job, but does it make me happy and worry-free all of the time? Absolutely not.
I will always advocate for it being a much more fulfilling and somewhat less stressful alternative to working for a big company though. I think anyone who has really struggled and had a bad experience in a traditional workplace should at least consider self-employment or freelancing.

Hope that was helpful. It probably made more sense in my head than it does in writing.
 
It's been now 10 months that I been out of job, I got about a decade (10 years) worth of experience, and I have strong technical talent (humbly speaking) as a Data Analyst/Scientist in my profession. But it's possible that my career is very much on a limbo and I may not be able to get to get back to the market again. I don't want to go into great length about my story in this thread and make it a focus point, but the important takeaway is that I could've been more socially smart in what was happening around me at work and other matters which has affected my profession, there was cruelty and abuse involved and certainly wrong was done to me, but had I been smarter with people, some of these things at least could've been avoided.

This thread is dedicated to listen to others who might be in the same situation as I am and have struggles in their career due to having ASD. Whether you have been in that situation but since landed a job, you currently unemployed and seeking to get back, or all together out, please share your story.
Same, it's a long story, I've experienced a lot of bullying because I can't read people well and I have mild prosopagnosia which I inherited from my father, I believe that I'm in the uncanny valley for a lot of people.

I almost didn't get my qualification because my mentor disliked me and wanted to prove I'm incompetent. That was the 2nd placement, on the 1st I quit on my own after witnessing how the clients were being treated.

After quitting my 1st placement I've been applying to a different institution and after they found out I had quit my 1st placement they called at my old position to inquire why I left. They didn't react for a long time and when I managed to contact them they told me that I should never ever apply again for a position in one of their institutions.

Luckily after that I found a new placement position but after my mentor found out I had quit my 1st internship she started bullying me too.

And all of this only occurred because people are judging and are trying to save their face. Because what I've witnessed at the 1st institution wasn't pretty. They were afraid I'd file a complaint. I didn't because my life was upside-down and I couldn't have handled it.
 
After quitting my 1st placement I've been applying to a different institution and after they found out I had quit my 1st placement they called at my old position to inquire why I left. They didn't react for a long time and when I managed to contact them they told me that I should never ever apply again for a position in one of their institutions.
That's terrible! Totally out of order! For one, it would appear you were given a 'personal' reference, not a professional one, by your previous placement. In the UK nowadays, most companies won't give any sort of reference beyond the facts that someone worked in the role they claimed they did, and started and left when they say, and whether they were dismissed or not. This is due to companies being sued, and losing employment tribunals, because someone made a personal opinion of an ex-employee in a reference - it becomes a persons subjective opinion that has little bearing on your actual role and how well you performed! It sounds like this may well have been your experience?

But further, that someone should say you should never apply again, without a full and frank explanation (and justification, though how they would do that, I don't know (i.e. it seems to be unjustifiable behaviour)) sounds to me like outright discrimination of a horrible nature! Depending on where you are, and the details, it could well be these people are guilty of some pretty basic rule breaking! Certainly a poor attitude as human beings.

The one bright side to this sort of thing, that I've found is, the sort of companies/organisations that allow this sort of thing to happen, either by negligence, or outright incompetence and/or discrimination, are usually the one's that you won't want to work for! It's also been my experience (though a little more contentious I'd say) is most times I've lost a job, or lost the opportunity to get one, in the end, maybe not immediately, but eventually, something else has come along, that wouldn't have if I hadn't had that misfortune, and tuned out much better! (sometimes with hindsight, but nonetheless, it's ended up a win!). It's hard not take the blows badly, but it really can be the seeds of something better, sometimes!
 
I'm now self-employed and have actually been way more successful than I ever was in the traditional workforce. But, being self-employed is not without its issues either, which I will go into more detail about here, since I don't usually talk about the bad parts of my job on here...

There were several jobs that I got fired from because my bosses didn't like me, because I wasn't fast enough and had difficulty following instructions. These were mostly retail jobs.
Outdated is 100% right about social hierarchy though, that was how I got canned from a few jobs. I was a victim of workplace bullying and a lot of people had the bosses wrapped around their fingers.

My last job, I was able to keep for a long time, and I got promoted a few times. My boss had nothing but good things to say about me. But I quit because it was a sales/management position and the customers were so unhinged that I came home crying almost every day. The pandemic just gave me an excuse to quit lol
But I'm still close friends with a few of my former coworkers and hang out with some of them basically every week, so it's not like people there didn't like me. It was me who didn't like the job...

The career I have now, I was able to make happen by offering a service based on a very strong skill that I have (dog training.) I've expanded my business to offer dog daycare, grooming, and boarding now as well, which I do pretty much every day and is basically all I do.

I have one additional employee who works under me, but she is great with dogs and not so great with people. I have to handle the "people" side of things because she isn't very personable and actually has kind of a short fuse with clients (I do too, but not outwardly.)
I had to fire one last summer for being utterly crap at her job and leaving a mess in clients' homes while they were away. I was so embarrassed. She was also horrible to me and was just a mean and miserable person in general. I wish I'd screened her more thoroughly, and now I'm really reluctant to hire anyone else even though I could really use the help. I have built up a great reputation for my business and a great relationship with my clients (most of them even get me Christmas gifts, which they absolutely don't have to do) and I don't want to tarnish that by hiring people who are bad at their job, or too unfriendly or awkward in human interactions. Or irresponsible with animals. The majority of my clients are canine and feline, but I don't just deal with dogs and cats, I have a huge range of other petsitting clients including chinchillas, rats, rabbits, parrots, chickens, guinea pigs, lizards, and tropical fish.
It's a position that requires a dog training certification, a lot of knowledge about many species of domestic animals, and some level of veterinary knowledge. I'm not going to hire just any random joe.

Something I have posted about on here before is dealing with clients who don't pay on time. That was a huge issue I was dealing with for a while. I was advised (by both people on here and irl) to charge a fee for this, and I also now have a customer rewards program which is an incentive to be more responsible.
I charge a fee for last-minute cancellations too, and for calling me in the middle of the night to schedule for the next day. I can't believe I have even had to be in a situation where I have told clients not to call me for non-emergencies at MIDNIGHT.

Last summer, I had a client who boarded her dog with me, and I just happened to be in her house when her electricity went out because she hadn't been paying her bills... that was something I never thought would be part of my job...

This is the kind of stuff I wish I didn't have to worry about, but when you run a business you have to be prepared to deal with all kinds of crazy stuff (that you may not have realized was going on at a traditional job because it was behind the scenes.)

I went on a bit of a tangent as usual, but the basic point of what I'm saying is that I have found way more success and way less stress and anxiety being self-employed, but being self-employed or freelancing isn't for everyone either and also comes with a ton of downsides. Because it's still work.
I love my job, but does it make me happy and worry-free all of the time? Absolutely not.
I will always advocate for it being a much more fulfilling and somewhat less stressful alternative to working for a big company though. I think anyone who has really struggled and had a bad experience in a traditional workplace should at least consider self-employment or freelancing.

Hope that was helpful. It probably made more sense in my head than it does in writing.
That's really impressive! I always wanted so much to be my own boss, but in the end, I just couldn't do the people things that would been required. You have my respect for going out and doing it regardless!

Regards the problem of taking someone on, would it not be possible to trial them on say, a months basis? (or whatever period works for you) Then if they really are unsuitable, you've a month to make you mind up, while giving them a chance too? But I don't know how that works with employment laws etc.
 
That's really impressive! I always wanted so much to be my own boss, but in the end, I just couldn't do the people things that would been required. You have my respect for going out and doing it regardless!

Regards the problem of taking someone on, would it not be possible to trial them on say, a months basis? (or whatever period works for you) Then if they really are unsuitable, you've a month to make you mind up, while giving them a chance too? But I don't know how that works with employment laws etc.
Thank you for the suggestion! That’s a really good idea, I will run it by people in my irl life who can help me determine if it’s a fit for my business. But I personally think it would work!
 
Well, my main thought was simply that it takes time to really get a feel for strangers you may have to work with, how the heck an interview or CV can show you that, even if neural issues weren't a thing?
In fact, I've read some interesting stuff on this, and how many interviews are decided on remarkably irrational reasons! With the implication stated that an interview may be the worse way to choose, because of the vulnerability to being subject to our unconscious discriminations - reacting to someone who is very charismatic, but who turns out to be dishonest (I'm not thinking of any politicians when I say that! honest!) and untrustworthy (or worse!).

So if a trial period (assuming all legal and that) where the interviewee can agree to it, like a one month contract, with option for renewal to permanent? Maybe add in the rule that if still unsure, you maybe extend it a three months then renewal? Obviously you'd need to be upfront and clear or it would be unfair on them, but it seems a much better way to avoid getting stuck in a bad situation, while being respectful of your prospective employee?

Actually, thinking about it (for a change! ;)) in UK many companies have 'probationary' periods, often 6 months, where it's written into the contract, so if at any time during that 6 months (or whatever), they can be dismissed with minimal effort and cost (apart from the disruption to business), and more important, reason! Another possible version of a trial period?
 
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One time after interviewing several people for a job my boss and I had settled on two applicants but we couldn't decide between them. We had a few beers about it and I suggested we write out a list of their different pros and cons.

When it was put down on paper the difference between the two was chalk and cheese and there really was only one viable candidate.
 
Thanks guys. I'm doing right now rideshares to keep me busy and earn little cash on the side. The real currency from this is being able to think and reflect back on things that happened and I figured new stuff out in my life, thou some of it has been quite unpleasant. I am in a situation where I have people from my previous employers badmouth me and trying to ruin my career. Obviously you want to be careful with what and who you share, but there are buttons you have to press in interviews when asked about the past and such.

That is tough. Maybe try to frame things in a way that some people hold unnecessary grudges and just focus on the positives of why you had to leave and why you might be better for working for the company you're interviewing for.

If a professional services firm exists in your area (help with resume, interviewing, etc.), this may be an outlet to take in your situation.
If you're in the Philly area, I know of such a contact. I've never run into these type of firms, but I'm guessing that they do exist in other places too.
 
I'm now self-employed and have actually been way more successful than I ever was in the traditional workforce. But, being self-employed is not without its issues either, which I will go into more detail about here, since I don't usually talk about the bad parts of my job on here...

There were several jobs that I got fired from because my bosses didn't like me, because I wasn't fast enough and had difficulty following instructions. These were mostly retail jobs.
Outdated is 100% right about social hierarchy though, that was how I got canned from a few jobs. I was a victim of workplace bullying and a lot of people had the bosses wrapped around their fingers.

My last job, I was able to keep for a long time, and I got promoted a few times. My boss had nothing but good things to say about me. But I quit because it was a sales/management position and the customers were so unhinged that I came home crying almost every day. The pandemic just gave me an excuse to quit lol
But I'm still close friends with a few of my former coworkers and hang out with some of them basically every week, so it's not like people there didn't like me. It was me who didn't like the job...

The career I have now, I was able to make happen by offering a service based on a very strong skill that I have (dog training.) I've expanded my business to offer dog daycare, grooming, and boarding now as well, which I do pretty much every day and is basically all I do.

I have one additional employee who works under me, but she is great with dogs and not so great with people. I have to handle the "people" side of things because she isn't very personable and actually has kind of a short fuse with clients (I do too, but not outwardly.)
I had to fire one last summer for being utterly crap at her job and leaving a mess in clients' homes while they were away. I was so embarrassed. She was also horrible to me and was just a mean and miserable person in general. I wish I'd screened her more thoroughly, and now I'm really reluctant to hire anyone else even though I could really use the help. I have built up a great reputation for my business and a great relationship with my clients (most of them even get me Christmas gifts, which they absolutely don't have to do) and I don't want to tarnish that by hiring people who are bad at their job, or too unfriendly or awkward in human interactions. Or irresponsible with animals. The majority of my clients are canine and feline, but I don't just deal with dogs and cats, I have a huge range of other petsitting clients including chinchillas, rats, rabbits, parrots, chickens, guinea pigs, lizards, and tropical fish.
It's a position that requires a dog training certification, a lot of knowledge about many species of domestic animals, and some level of veterinary knowledge. I'm not going to hire just any random joe.

Something I have posted about on here before is dealing with clients who don't pay on time. That was a huge issue I was dealing with for a while. I was advised (by both people on here and irl) to charge a fee for this, and I also now have a customer rewards program which is an incentive to be more responsible.
I charge a fee for last-minute cancellations too, and for calling me in the middle of the night to schedule for the next day. I can't believe I have even had to be in a situation where I have told clients not to call me for non-emergencies at MIDNIGHT.

Last summer, I had a client who boarded her dog with me, and I just happened to be in her house when her electricity went out because she hadn't been paying her bills... that was something I never thought would be part of my job...

This is the kind of stuff I wish I didn't have to worry about, but when you run a business you have to be prepared to deal with all kinds of crazy stuff (that you may not have realized was going on at a traditional job because it was behind the scenes.)

I went on a bit of a tangent as usual, but the basic point of what I'm saying is that I have found way more success and way less stress and anxiety being self-employed, but being self-employed or freelancing isn't for everyone either and also comes with a ton of downsides. Because it's still work.
I love my job, but does it make me happy and worry-free all of the time? Absolutely not.
I will always advocate for it being a much more fulfilling and somewhat less stressful alternative to working for a big company though. I think anyone who has really struggled and had a bad experience in a traditional workplace should at least consider self-employment or freelancing.

Hope that was helpful. It probably made more sense in my head than it does in writing.

It makes a lot of sense! Now that you have a more established business from hiring previous people and existing for more years, you should continue to look, but maybe look for a person who has x number of years of experience elsewhere along with reference checks. Also, could you hire the person full time or on a trial basis to consider them for full time? Full time people are more likely to want to do a good job and they are likely to stay with you and be dependable because they are paid reasonably well.
 
That's terrible! Totally out of order! For one, it would appear you were given a 'personal' reference, not a professional one, by your previous placement. In the UK nowadays, most companies won't give any sort of reference beyond the facts that someone worked in the role they claimed they did, and started and left when they say, and whether they were dismissed or not. This is due to companies being sued, and losing employment tribunals, because someone made a personal opinion of an ex-employee in a reference - it becomes a persons subjective opinion that has little bearing on your actual role and how well you performed! It sounds like this may well have been your experience?

But further, that someone should say you should never apply again, without a full and frank explanation (and justification, though how they would do that, I don't know (i.e. it seems to be unjustifiable behaviour)) sounds to me like outright discrimination of a horrible nature! Depending on where you are, and the details, it could well be these people are guilty of some pretty basic rule breaking! Certainly a poor attitude as human beings.

The one bright side to this sort of thing, that I've found is, the sort of companies/organisations that allow this sort of thing to happen, either by negligence, or outright incompetence and/or discrimination, are usually the one's that you won't want to work for! It's also been my experience (though a little more contentious I'd say) is most times I've lost a job, or lost the opportunity to get one, in the end, maybe not immediately, but eventually, something else has come along, that wouldn't have if I hadn't had that misfortune, and tuned out much better! (sometimes with hindsight, but nonetheless, it's ended up a win!). It's hard not take the blows badly, but it really can be the seeds of something better, sometimes!
On my 1st placement I didn't receive a letter of recommendation because it was only an internship and I quit after several weeks, it was not a good place to be. But they straight out phoned them after job interview and 1st institution did calumny against me. They made me feel like a criminal.

I completely agree a letter of recommendation is no more than subjective opinion! It would be good if we'd give up that concept as it can be very damaging.
 
Thank you for the suggestion! That’s a really good idea, I will run it by people in my irl life who can help me determine if it’s a fit for my business. But I personally think it would work!
Do you only train and walk the dogs or are you also a pet boarding facility? I know several people who have opened up those in their own home.
 

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