Why does this make me upset?

[Aspychata]

So l am at the gym, trying to get pizza thoughts out of my head. This is a good sign of malaise for me when l become riveted on food ads. So l take my senior bod off to the gym so l can wear my brain out with thoughts of pain instead of gooey cheese stuffed crust pizza.

So l am fixated on the handwritten sign that says the heart monitor is out of order on my bike that l am currently on. So right a way l think that you can get your heart rate, it's just going to be the wrong order. Then l realized, there needs to be sign police who will add points to your driving record if you can't inform people correctly a very simple message in plain English. Then l start thinking maybe l am related to Oscar the grouch after all.

 

[Greatshield17]

I used to be like that a lot when I was a teenager, unfortunately the thing that’s keeps me out of it now, is focusing on my own hopes and plans for the future, moving onto my family’s farm, finding my future wife and please God! Having a family; so I’m afraid that probably won’t work for you at your age, but maybe you can find other ways to take your mind off of things, maybe find some good books to read or the like.

Of course I’m not immune from from bad moods and making bad decisions while in those moods; today while I was in a bad mood, I decided to watch a YouTube video that I thought would put me in worse mood, curiously enough I did that in the past and came off finding the video not that bad, this time around (not that I was hoping the same thing would happen this time around) I came off feel just “ehh” about it, not having strong emotions one way or the other.

 

[Aspychata]

It's always a shock to find you feel worse after you did something. But so far, daily exercise has delivered me from this.

 

[Fino]

Are you saying you don't like the phrase "out of order" or am I misunderstanding?

 

[Thinx]

You thought the sign meant the numbers would be in the wrong order, not complete absent... because literally it could mean that. I do that, yesterday my partner said something like, are you thinking of chips with your tea? And I needed to check, do you mean do I want chips? We didn't have a lot of chips though, with cold roast chicken, then a small amount of delicious Aldi rice pudding. It's about portion control, for me. Not always easy, especially eating alone. I hope you enjoy the gym though, it sounds a healthy solution.

 

[Aspychata]

Right, maybe it should read that it is non-working, malfunctioning, discombobulated (lol), broken, or under repair, temporarily non-operative.

 

[Thinx]

Sometimes I stare at signs on buses or in vestibule with several doors, trying hard to decode them. They often have assumed an intuitive understanding we don't all have. Unfortunately I also think we with autism pay more attention to these signs and messages, we are always trying to decode our worlds I guess. Usually this is not helpful to me, as I can't always make out their meaning and get delayed or confused. They need our input on the signage.

 

[Judge]

So l am at the gym, trying to get pizza thoughts out of my head. This is a good sign of malaise for me when l become riveted on food ads. So l take my senior bod off to the gym so l can wear my brain out with thoughts of pain instead of gooey cheese stuffed crust pizza.

So l am fixated on the handwritten sign that says the heart monitor is out of order on my bike that l am currently on. So right a way l think that you can get your heart rate, it's just going to be the wrong order. Then l realized, there needs to be sign police who will add points to your driving record if you can't inform people correctly a very simple message in plain English. Then l start thinking maybe l am related to Oscar the grouch after all.

Hmmm. Perhaps it might have to do with something else entirely. Maybe having that pizza and enjoying it is actually more important than being in a gym in "the big picture". You're retired, both financially and socially. Right? - So am I.

I look for ways to "coast" these days. Not continue to struggle like a salmon swimming upstream only to spawn and die. Maybe you should too. But I know people can have a broad degree of adjustment in dealing with retirement. It doesn't come naturally to everyone. In my father's case he never mentally adapted and it was part of what killed him. His rigid commitment to a health regimen in a forced retirement accelerated his demise.

If you so resent attention from the opposite sex, why continue to look your best when you really don't have to any more? You're in a stage of life where it's truly time to be good to yourself, before that time runs out altogether. It just sounds like you may still have one foot in your prior life when you need both feet in your present- and future life.

 

[Aspychata]

@Judge
Running helps me stay out of hospitals and away from the psychiatrist. When l first ran, it was to get in shape. Then l ran to get thru divorce, then l ran to deal with stress. Now, my men in my life like me to look in shape and healthy, so it's fine with me. My one friend tells me he loves the way l look. And to look your best means you feel better about yourself. Older men are allowed to look however, there is more pressure on older females to look healthy and not frumpy.

I also love doing weights and have done this most of my life. I have ran since 2001 and l love running. It releases hits of happiness and helps me with autism. There are many older people who do run as a way of life. I have made plenty of pizza in my lifetime, so l am really craving tomato sauce with garlic and Romano cheese on anything.

Being physically active is my autism routine. I am perfectly content with "my routine". Both of my good friends have gym routines in their life, and it's makes them better people. What's not to love about that?

Think we should always encourage people to have a active healthy routine of some type of exercise. Pizza is fine, in moderation.

 

[Judge]

@Judge
Running helps me stay out of hospitals and away from the psychiatrist. When l first ran, it was to get in shape. Then l ran to get thru divorce, then l ran to deal with stress. Now, my men in my life like me to look in shape and healthy, so it's fine with me. Apparently they seem to like my old lady parts. Who knew? And to look your best means you feel better about yourself. Older men are allowed to look however, there is more pressure on older females to look healthy and not frumpy.

I also love doing weights and have done this most of my life. I have ran since 2001 and l love running. It releases hits of happiness and helps me with autism. There are many older people who do run as a way of life. I have made plenty of pizza in my lifetime, so l am really craving tomato sauce with garlic and Romano cheese on anything.

Understood. Though yes, in fact I've heard pretty much all of that before by older women in my tiny social orbit.

I'm just suggesting that whatever you do is for you and no one else. It just doesn't sound like you're "there" yet. It's just that your sentiments and circumstances remind me very much of a woman I've known for many years. Even older than I am, she still wants to please others more than she's willing to please herself. The price she continues to pay for pursuing appearing like "a knockout" at her age.

 

[Aspychata]

Understood. Though yes, in fact I've heard pretty much all of that before by older women in my tiny social orbit.

I'm just suggesting that whatever you do is for you and no one else. It just doesn't sound like you're "there" yet. It's just that your sentiments and circumstances remind me very much of a woman I've known for many years.

I have always run for me. And l am so grateful for it. I love running. I don't have to be out of shape to prove anything to anybody. I took years and years of ballet, and l am repulsed when l get heavy. It's who l am, and l accept me. I grew up loving ballet dancers and the art of ballet. I can't accommodate or explain myself to you. But ballet dancers never allow themselves to become heavy.

And l have been body-shamed enough in my lifetime so excuse my tone please.

 

[Judge]

I have always run for me. And l am so grateful for it. I love running. I don't have to be out of shape to prove anything to anybody. I took years and years of ballet, and l am repulsed when l get heavy. It's who l am, and l accept me. I grew up and spent many years in ballet. I can't accommodate or explain myself to you. But ballet dancers never allow themselves to become heavy.

Indeed, it's not something I can truly relate to. Though you still sound remarkably like my friend. However to my knowledge she was never a dancer. Just someone totally focused on good health. Even if it kills her. She was quite attractive, but like yourself drew so much unwanted attention. A strange dichotomy...

Body shaming has always struck me as more a case of malice than objective observation. Cruelty without purpose.

 

[Aspychata]

Thanks @tree.

 

[Judge]

Yes. But l am able to pay bills. That's all l care to say. I will take my dichotomy to the bank, since older woman HAVE so other fewer choices. Except to get harassed by older men who have zero girlfriends. Let's not forget, l am autistic and holding jobs is difficult for me. Unlike males who are routinely hired for great positions. If you don't like me complaining, l never forced you to read my posts. Please be civil. I really expected better from you. I never tell people to give up exercise.

I am being civil. Just suggesting that there are other priorities besides maintaining one's appearance.

But you're retired now. Right? You can leave much of that ire behind from your past life. That's all.

 

[Aspychata]

Edited.

 

[tree]

So l am at the gym, trying to get pizza thoughts out of my head. This is a good sign of malaise for me when l become riveted on food ads. So l take my senior bod off to the gym so l can wear my brain out with thoughts of pain instead of gooey cheese stuffed crust pizza.

So l am fixated on the handwritten sign that says the heart monitor is out of order on my bike that l am currently on. So right a way l think that you can get your heart rate, it's just going to be the wrong order. Then l realized, there needs to be sign police who will add points to your driving record if you can't inform people correctly a very simple message in plain English. Then l start thinking maybe l am related to Oscar the grouch after all.

Why does what make you upset?

I got the first paragraph.
You were thinking about pizza.
This apparently is a sort of dangerous thought, for you ?
Temptation.

The second paragraph, I'm lost on what you're meaning to say.

 

[Judge]

This is no different then telling a female that she was raped because she wore a revealing outfit - @Judge

In a court of law, it's no secret that's a pretty ugly standard that prosecutors often use. That I get.

However I'm not talking about having to defend yourself as a victim, let alone have to go to court. Only explaining what you can do to mitigate from becoming a victim in a simple, but pragmatic manner.

Keep in mind I am not someone who thinks ideologically. In a world where lofty notions of "fairness" are few and far between. So I tend to look for more practical solutions in a socially and sexually precarious environment.

You seem intensely angry about something and have been for some time. I just suspect it entails something far beyond what you wrote in just a single post. If we didn't collectively care about you, we'd just let you go on and on without any response. Please understand this is not an ill-willed process. It's part of what this community is all about.

 

[Aspychata]

Just storyline. Anybody wishing to add their thoughts.

 

[tree]

Just storyline. Anybody wishing to add their thoughts.

The purpose of thread is for people to comment on
a specific topic. It helps to have a clear topic premise.

 

[Aspychata]

Sometimes people derail topics, and the comments get interesting also. People who jump in my posts know that l am not always black and white, sometimes magenta slips in. Lol . I believe the NT call this brainstorming.