Will I Ever Meet Someone Will Delivery On The Things They Say?

[The Penguin]

Having trouble sleeping tonight, I'm thinking a lot about things of my life. One topic came to my mind was will I ever meet someone will delivery on the things they say?

I understand people are not perfect and there will be times people can't deliver the things they say. However, what I'm looking for is someone that will deliver the things they say majority of the time. For being alive for almost 35 years and everyone I meet in my life so far, I find this is a super rare thing for me.

The biggest thing I learned based on the type of life I had, many people just say things to me hoping to make me feel better, but they truly never meet the things they say to me. I have also learned, majority of these people it very easy for them to move on.

So based on most of these people I have meet, I have different values than them since I'm a person that delivers the things I say most of the time.

I have reached to a point that what I'm asking for might be completely impossible. Remember, I used the word might, not is. So there is a very slim chance this could happen. But no one can promise me, not even my own self if this will ever happen?

 

[Keigan]

I take care that I live a life of integrity and honor, it is my commitment to myself. I know I am very unique in that commitment and I have relinquished the idea that others might reciprocate what I value. In general people who know me pull from the strength of my commitment and do reciprocate, people who don't know me not so much.

 

[Tyrantus1212]

Dear God, when someone says they'll do something and then they don't, it freaks me out to death, you wouldn't even believe. Even if it's about something as little as giving me a call/text. "I forgot" is not an excuse! People say I overreact to this, but that's not gonna change anything. Words should never just be wind. In certain cases something comes up through no fault of our own, but that still hurts because a promise has been carelessly made under the assumption that no unforeseen events would later occur.

The (few) friends I have - they know about my extreme hatred of this (and pretty much all of my quirks) and so as a result we all made a deal where we would never make any sorts of definitive agreements about anything - we keep everything tentative or as I like to describe it, "Schrodinger's Cat". We always use words like "maybe" and "we'll see". One must always include doubt when making plans to do something later (no doubt about that, pun intended).

 

[Buzzerfly]

Hello Penguin,

I try to eventually deliver on everything I say. I intend to. If it is in my power to do so, I don't hesitate. But sometimes, the things I tell my husband and kids we'll be able to do one day in the future are so far off, that I know they have their doubts. They're friendly enough to stick with me. Maybe they have no better option?

If someone you know and trust really does want to be of service to you, maybe their not delivering isn't always in their control. Time is a beast. For the others, that just like to talk...well, don't get down about them.

 

[The Penguin]

maybe their not delivering isn't always in their control.

Is something I can accept if maybe like 20 to 30% of the time. Once it gets above 70% of the time, that when that person is getting ridiculous and to the point I would drop that person. I need to draw the line somewhere.

 

[The Penguin]

We always use words like "maybe" and "we'll see".

This one person I know when it was a problem they decided to use those words and things turn out a bit better after this point.

 

[Questella]

Having trouble sleeping tonight, I'm thinking a lot about things of my life. One topic came to my mind was will I ever meet someone will delivery on the things they say?

I understand people are not perfect and there will be times people can't deliver the things they say. However, what I'm looking for is someone that will deliver the things they say majority of the time. For being alive for almost 35 years and everyone I meet in my life so far, I find this is a super rare thing for me.

The biggest thing I learned based on the type of life I had, many people just say things to me hoping to make me feel better, but they truly never meet the things they say to me. I have also learned, majority of these people it very easy for them to move on.

So based on most of these people I have meet, I have different values than them since I'm a person that delivers the things I say most of the time.

I have reached to a point that what I'm asking for might be completely impossible. Remember, I used the word might, not is. So there is a very slim chance this could happen. But no one can promise me, not even my own self if this will ever happen?

I'm with you on all this. People just seem to talk to hear themselves talk a lot, not really paying attention to what they are saying. But unfortunately we are.

 

[Streetwise]

i cant tell you IM not a future telling psychic i can tell you life got slightly easier when i tried /try to not always communicate via speech or facial expression that their actions hurt me because i thought i was so righteous try to remember when you haven't been perfect

Having trouble sleeping tonight, I'm thinking a lot about things of my life. One topic came to my mind was will I ever meet someone will delivery on the things they say?

I understand people are not perfect and there will be times people can't deliver the things they say. However, what I'm looking for is someone that will deliver the things they say majority of the time. For being alive for almost 35 years and everyone I meet in my life so far, I find this is a super rare thing for me.

The biggest thing I learned based on the type of life I had, many people just say things to me hoping to make me feel better, but they truly never meet the things they say to me. I have also learned, majority of these people it very easy for them to move on.

So based on most of these people I have meet, I have different values than them since I'm a person that delivers the things I say most of the time.

I have reached to a point that what I'm asking for might be completely impossible. Remember, I used the word might, not is. So there is a very slim chance this could happen. But no one can promise me, not even my own self if this will ever happen?

 

[Danny 74]

Thats life....! Find a path through it... We all wasn't guaranteed that it was going to be easy

 

[The Penguin]

Thats life....! Find a path through it... We all wasn't guaranteed that it was going to be easy

Yes I know. Though I'm at a point of my life now not having concerns much about people and focus a life living as hermit. As long I make a good amount money, stay out of poverty then I'm very happy.

 

[Streetwise]

the problem is that is not possible- humans encroach
trespass!- i know i try everyday, i live in the burbs of an English town given up there is no privacy

Yes I know. Though I'm at a point of my life now not having concerns much about people and focus a life living as hermit. As long I make a good amount money, stay out of poverty then I'm very happy.

 

[The Penguin]

the problem is that is not possible- humans encroach
trespass!- i know i try everyday, i live in the burbs of an English town given up there is no privacy

Might be different for your country. I live in Canada so there lots of isolated areas including places you only get there by train.

 

[radasp]

Asperger people have instinctive values about honesty, loyalty, telling the "truth" and being direct in our communication. We also tend to treat everyone as equal and worthy of respect. This is NOT how society works; social people are driven by status. Status comes from putting other people down: lies are "high status" behavior. That is, people of high status can lie to whomever they want: it's a way of saying "you are lower status and you don't deserve respect." Give up thinking this will ever change. We are radically different people from "neurotypical liars"!

 

[Grandmother B]

I think most people are honest. But there are a lot of people who do

Having trouble sleeping tonight, I'm thinking a lot about things of my life. One topic came to my mind was will I ever meet someone will delivery on the things they say?

I understand people are not perfect and there will be times people can't deliver the things they say. However, what I'm looking for is someone that will deliver the things they say majority of the time. For being alive for almost 35 years and everyone I meet in my life so far, I find this is a super rare thing for me.

The biggest thing I learned based on the type of life I had, many people just say things to me hoping to make me feel better, but they truly never meet the things they say to me. I have also learned, majority of these people it very easy for them to move on.

So based on most of these people I have meet, I have different values than them since I'm a person that delivers the things I say most of the time.

I have reached to a point that what I'm asking for might be completely impossible. Remember, I used the word might, not is. So there is a very slim chance this could happen. But no one can promise me, not even my own self if this will ever happen?[/QUOTE
I think most people are honest. But there are also a lot of people who don't take promises seriously. Don't give up. All you need is an honest person. They are out there! Good luck!

 

[Thursday]

Oh, it irks me to no end when people take their commitments too lightly. I've learned to determine which ones are critical, and are therefore, worth bringing up, and those that are simply annoying.

Props to my parents, they never actually use the word "promise" unless they can deliver -- they've done this ever since because they also see it as a matter of honor. That being said, I've asked the few people in my life never to use that word unless they meant it...leading to a few heartbreaks, some severing of ties completely but also better relationships.

Nowadays, when they actually say they promise, I don't count on them delivering anymore. When it came to school or work, I always counted on the paper trail to save myself from being caught up in their failures.

I believe there are still people who can be trusted to deliver...I just try to manage my expectations to see the efforts rather than the results when it's reasonable to do so.

 

[ladybug]

I'm NT, and couldn't agree more about people who 'promise' but don't deliver... I don't think it's purely and aspie thing..!!
I've always told my children that 'don't promise anyone anything UNLESS you are completely certain, without any doubt you can do it...'
I think its about being accountable for your words and actions....

 

[Momo]

Well, wasn't it the great Tennessee Williams who said: "There's nothing else to live with except mendacity, is there?" (I'm such a Lit nerd) The world is built upon pretence, my friend, people are rarely honest. I suppose there are some honest people who follow through on their word. But trust me, those people are usually the types to hover around the fringe of polite society, or at least, what people consider to be polite society. I do love the blunt honourable type myself.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Hi. There are rare persons who could consistently do what they say. This is because many of the following variables would have to be satisfied:

(1) The message was communicated correctly for that other to understand.

(2) There was no concentration lapse at the time the person heard the request

(3) Both would have to take the request literally.

(4) The receiver of the request must be Honest and Trustworthy, without a desire to just temporarily please the other and tell them what they wanted to hear

(5) The receiver of the request might require empathy, as one with empathy would take that request usually as a priority, with a desire not to hurt that other person's feelings

(6) The receiver did not just forget about the request through the passage of time

(7) It may require no unexpected urgent situation to come up that was more needed to be tended to, and require the person
not to be very busy

(8) It would require an unselfish person that thinks often of others before themself

(9) It may require a polite person that always wants to do what they say

(10) It may require that other to have the energy, effort or resources to fulfill the request

These are just a few reasons I quickly came up with. So, it makes sense why most people say things but do not fulfill their promises, as they are missing one or more of the above things. In my case, I am pretty good with not making promises unless I can keep them, as I believe that we should treat others like we wanted to be treated ourselves, and as I feel I do not lack any of the things mentioned above.

If anything, I am the type that thinks too much, and will always want to do the right and nice thing. Luckily, this does not stress me out though, as I like being my best, making lots of efforts, and treating others my best, by always doing what I can, and this means at the minimum fulfilling my promises, but even doing more than others would reasonably expect me to do, which requires more patience and effort.

For instance, despite my lifelong condition, I look forward taking on systems behind the scenes, challenging their rules and any improper breaking of rules, and their sometimes failure to cooperate, instead of just doing the required things like paperwork for my wife and children, for their issues. I do this very professionally though, so they hear the message and not the emotion, and so it forces them to act.

For me I do not take offense if others do not say what they mean or mean what they say, as I lowered my expectations there, knowing that few people have all of those things above.
I can trust many persons though, if their actions generally show that is deserved. I do not expect anyone to be perfect, as nobody is, so I just look for consistency. Admittedly though, I trust myself more, as I know myself more. I have a lifetime history of being there trying to help others.

 

[fairy_girl]

I take what people promise with some hopefulness that they will pull through but if not then I will go by myself when I can in the future. I've been burned too many times by people promising places to go to and then not following through with it. Why offer if you aren't actually going to go and do it?

I do get frustrated with the constant disappointments, the only person I can count on are my parents and myself.

 

[Grandmother B]

Having trouble sleeping tonight, I'm thinking a lot about things of my life. One topic came to my mind was will I ever meet someone will delivery on the things they say?

I understand people are not perfect and there will be times people can't deliver the things they say. However, what I'm looking for is someone that will deliver the things they say majority of the time. For being alive for almost 35 years and everyone I meet in my life so far, I find this is a super rare thing for me.

The biggest thing I learned based on the type of life I had, many people just say things to me hoping to make me feel better, but they truly never meet the things they say to me. I have also learned, majority of these people it very easy for them to move on.

So based on most of these people I have meet, I have different values than them since I'm a person that delivers the things I say most of the time.

I have reached to a point that what I'm asking for might be completely impossible. Remember, I used the word might, not is. So there is a very slim chance this could happen. But no one can promise me, not even my own self if this will ever happen?

NT's have the same problem! I think people are so busy nowadays that they are too lazy to actually stop and think about whether they can do the thing you ask or not. It is easier to just say okay and then forget about it. A bad habit, to be sure. You might say, "Now, it you find that you can't follow up on this, it's okay, but Please call or text me to let me know. Because I have a life, too, and I can't sit around and wait all the time!" Good luck and blessings!