I totally empathise (I think..haha!). Sometimes I get bogged down by how disconnected I feel, and I wish I could understand how NT brains work. Sometimes I feel totally out of touch with everything, and everyone, to the point of feeling like it really is just a strange, strange planet I've been sent to study, like an anthropologist or something. Except like anthropologists, I can never remove myself from the 'Aspie lens' enough to see NT behaviour as it really is; it always seems foreign and non-sensical, it is always filtered through the lens of my Aspie ideology/logic. As a result, I find I get angry and overwhelmed, and sometimes I feel like all NT's are just too 'stupid' to get me (I know they're not, and I'm partly to blame, but it's an easy cop-out when I'm angry). Sometimes I wish I could just 'leave the planet' and find somebody, in some otherworldly galaxy, who does understand. I've noticed that usually I only feel this way during a meltdown, which I've curbed down to once or twice a month (at least the really bad ones anyway). These are the days I tend to wish I could 'change' myself into an NT.
On the bright side, sometimes I am in awe of what my brain can do, and the speed at which it can process information, and explore ideas. Ironically, this also makes me feel isolated at times, as there have definitely been points in university where I knew with absolute certainty, even upon reflection after an obligatory cooling-off period, that I understood the topic better than the tutors who grade the papers do, and I have lost marks countless times over it. [Side note: Anybody who says NT's don't have meltdowns like Aspies has never seen an NT being told there is a slight gap in their knowledge-base or logic. You'd think the ground would fall from beneath their feet if they admit a mistake has been made] But it's all learning how to deal with what you're given, because even inspite of how 'cut off' and excluded I am from NT social circles, university for me has been the happiest time of my life. I've never been more socially ostracised or isolated as I was this year (won't go into the details...), but I am so satisfied with what my mind is capable of, and so engaged with the subject matter, that it offsets the feeling of Aspergers being a downside to my existence. My social isolation operates at a level where I'm alone most of the time, which means my work is always of a high quality. I watch all the NT's struggle to grasp basic concepts, let alone produce new ideas and articulate them clearly, and I think to myself how amazing the Aspie brain can be, if we learn to work with its strengths. I also have an NT best friend, who is the most patient, understanding, compassionate individual in regards to Aspergers. He celebrates that part of me, and helps me through the struggles!
I guess what I'm trying to get at is, Autism is definitely a challenge, and one I wish I didn't have some days. But I am overcoming it, and learning to live with it, and even value and cherish it. Would I change my diagnosis? Some days, sure. But most days, I am grateful for how much beauty and wonder I can see in the world as an Aspie, and I know NT's can never really understand that either. As long as I know what makes me happy, and limit my expectations of myself to what is reasonable (i.e. like you said with avoiding all the noise in the streets, busy environments, etc.), I live a fairly content existence. We all know where our limitations are, and spend a lot of time focusing on our weaknesses; as Aspies, we have been socialised to think we're damaged goods, or belong on some island of misfit toys. I think it's important to remember that it was an NT who decided Aspies are defective, and that's because they only saw the 'diagnosable' downside to it, and labelled it a 'disorder' (their NT mind was clearly incapable of understanding all the potential of the Aspie mind). The trick is not wasting energy focussing on your Aspie weaknesses and limitations, and diverting all that energy instead into exploring the outermost reaches of the strengths of YOUR unique way of being Aspie. Whether it's your ability to study for long periods, understand complex ideas, zero in on special interests, etc. there is without a doubt something you can GAIN from being an Aspie. I truly hope you find it, and value yourself so much more as a human being when you do
