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Wish my family was different.

DevilMayAsian

DevilMayAsian

Member
My dad told the doctor that diagnosed me, that he hasn’t read anything on ASD and he’ll never will. He also thinks that I’m using ASD as a crutch and I have a defeatist attitude. He thinks that I am capable of working a full time job, not just a part time job. He wants me to have benefits through a full time job. He even told me that he will not help me get disability benefits through the government. He told me that my mom is the one to help me with that. He’s not going to help me. He even shames me for taking care of my health and fitness, which is very strange. Something I never thought he’d do, since I chose to make my health and fitness a top priority. All because of my oldest sister doesn’t want to be healthy at all. And he shames her for her negligence to her health.

My mom thinks I’m capable of working full time as well. She hasn’t said anything about helping me get disability benefits. My dad is 75 and my mom is 70. I’m 39 and reading survival books just in case I don’t get disability benefits. At least I can fall back on the survival skills as a homeless when my parents pass away. It’s more than likely I’m going to become homeless once my parents pass away. Their is no way I’m going to living with either sister. Our relationships are beyond repair I already estranged my oldest sister. When both my parents are gone I’m going to estrange the middle one. In case you’re wondering they both estranged each other way back in 2006.

My middle sister just thinks I’m a high functioning sociopath and is just lazy like my older sister. My older sister is also disabled but she is not on the spectrum and she is even tried to murder our mom. Yet my parents continue to help live on her own. My parents even told me that they will not help me whatsoever if I ever move out. My oldest sister does have disability benefits and my both my parents helped her get them. It seems like my parents don’t care about helping me with my disability. When it comes to getting benefits.
 
Sounds like an unhealthy mix in that family. Seek independence post haste. Being raised in that house probably left some traumatic imprint I'd imagine.

Worth a watch:


He's been my new hyperfocus. Books, videos, and articles. Well worth a look and ponder.

Ed
 
I don't know where you live, but are you able to qualify for some kind of caseworker? That may help lead to funding and supports, such as a place to live.
 
DevilMayAsian said:
My dad told the doctor that diagnosed me, that he hasn’t read anything on ASD and he’ll never will. He also thinks that I’m using ASD as a crutch and I have a defeatist attitude. He thinks that I am capable of working a full time job, not just a part time job. He wants me to have benefits through a full time job. He even told me that he will not help me get disability benefits through the government. He told me that my mom is the one to help me with that. He’s not going to help me. He even shames me for taking care of my health and fitness, which is very strange. Something I never thought he’d do, since I chose to make my health and fitness a top priority. All because of my oldest sister doesn’t want to be healthy at all. And he shames her for her negligence to her health.

My mom thinks I’m capable of working full time as well. She hasn’t said anything about helping me get disability benefits. My dad is 75 and my mom is 70. I’m 39 and reading survival books just in case I don’t get disability benefits. At least I can fall back on the survival skills as a homeless when my parents pass away. It’s more than likely I’m going to become homeless once my parents pass away. Their is no way I’m going to living with either sister. Our relationships are beyond repair I already estranged my oldest sister. When both my parents are gone I’m going to estrange the middle one. In case you’re wondering they both estranged each other way back in 2006.

My middle sister just thinks I’m a high functioning sociopath and is just lazy like my older sister. My older sister is also disabled but she is not on the spectrum and she is even tried to murder our mom. Yet my parents continue to help live on her own. My parents even told me that they will not help me whatsoever if I ever move out. My oldest sister does have disability benefits and my both my parents helped her get them. It seems like my parents don’t care about helping me with my disability. When it comes to getting benefits.
Click to expand...
So not a reply to the second half. But I will point out some similarities with my DX that my parents can't wrap my mind around either. I am still told many of the same things that "everyone's like that sometime's".. which is super invalidating; I swear the worst part for parents about a late dx'd kid is guilt on missing it. However they may manifest face to face
 
That must hurt with your parents denying things. Growing up, autism was rarely diagnosed and people merely thought that my lack of social engagement was a choice. While sometimes mildly dysfunctional compared to your parents, an overwhelming goal of mine was to earn enough to live independently. And when I succeeded at that, next was improving myself. I had to learn to live in a world that did not accommodate my neurology. There were a lot of lessons that taught me that I needed to rely on myself.
 
Are you asian, by any chance? Which part of asia? If so, that would explain the bizarreness of your parents! They are old school and thus, have old school reasoning, which of course, is disasterous for a vunerable person.

How I see it, they fear your older sister, since you mention she tried to kill your mother and thus, out of that fear, they are pandering to her needs ( maybe).

You yourself, seem well on board with life. I love your proactiveness. And yes, health is so important, especially in our situation.

So, what did the therapist say, on your father stating he will never look at any information on asd?

ASD is scary for most parents, because they use their offspring for themselves. So, any slight is a slight against them.

The only thing that comes to mind, is keep coming here. When ever I feel overwhelmed with being around neurotypicals, I come here to off load.
 
Sounds like my family. My parents think I'm being ridiculous, that there's nothing wrong and that someone is making me believe that I have ASD. The official diagnosis I received from two qualified professionals "...was a scam to take your money." Yes...it would be nice if they understood. I've sent videos, book links, articles...nothing. They aren't going to bother. Oh well...life rolls on and all I can do is be incharge of my own life and try to be happy. :) Allow yourself to be happy...you deserve it as much as they do.
 
If you are in the USA you do not need a parent’s assistance to get disability. Depending on your level of disability you might need someone’s assistance, but it could be a friend or co-worker.

If your employer has EAP, you might be able to get help that way. It is free and you could use some help getting disentangled from your family.

There’s nothing to be done about the family we are born into. Those cards were dealt before we were born.

But we can look outside our families and become more independent.
 
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