Without letting it bother you

[SimonSays]

Can you hear someone say something you don't agree with, and accept they have said it, without letting it bother you?

And if you can't, are you willing to look at why it bothered you, rather than expect them to stop saying it?

There's an opportunity to understand something crucial about ourselves. And not only won't we be bothered by their words, but we'll know their opinion is not something we ever need to defend ourselves from.

When we don't need to defend ourselves from what other people think, we know what we think, and it doesn't matter if they do too.

And soon those people are people we don’t notice. We haven’t resisted them, we’ve let them go. We live in our own world, without having stopped them from living in theirs.

There's peace in that.

 

[Forest Cat]

It depends on what it is. If it's something small, like someone saying skiing is stupid, that doesn't bother me.

But if it's about something very important, that's different.

 

[Darkkin]

It usually doesn't take me long to figure out who is auditioning for the role of village idiot and those who are worth listening to. One I can completely ignore, not worth my spoons. The other I take with a grain of salt.

Politics and religion I will not touch with a ten foot pole. That way lies madness.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Can you hear someone say something you don't agree with, and accept they have said it, without letting it bother you?

And if you can't, are you willing to look at why it bothered you, rather than expect them to stop saying it?

There's an opportunity to understand something crucial about ourselves. And not only won't we be bothered by their words, but we'll know their opinion is not something we ever need to defend ourselves from.

When we don't need to defend ourselves from what other people think, we know what we think, and it doesn't matter if they do too.

And soon those people are people we don’t notice. We haven’t resisted them, we’ve let them go. We live in our own world, without having stopped them from living in theirs.

There's peace in that.

The process of learning new information can be uncomfortable,...whether it be someone challenging what you said,...or trying to accept what was said to you. Things that challenge your "personal truths" should be uncomfortable. Now, how you handle this is important. You can lash back with your own personal truth without considering perspective and context,...of your own, or their statements,...and get into an argument. You can be one that is a "fact checker",...I don't mind this so much,...someone sitting there with their phone checking your facts on the internet. Still a bit bothersome, but I understand it. Then there are the people who can have the composure to simply take in what was said,...believing it or not,...and appear to be interested in the other persons perspective and context,...and following it up with interesting questions rather than acting as if the other person doesn't know what they are talking about. I prefer the later.

Seriously, if you just put your ego aside for just a moment,...you can listen to some Qanon conspiracy theorist, alien abductee with a long history of mental health issues. You can let them elaborate on all sorts of things. You don't have to agree with them,...you just have to listen. Sure, later on after you've left them, you can go, "Oh wow!!" "That person is messed up in the head."

Discussions are not about winning and losing,...arguments are. Best not to argue.

 

[SpiltPaint]

Depends on the context, is it directed at you personally, is it something you overheard that you don't agree with, does it come from someone you know or a stranger? I think they all play a variable in the outcome to some degree.

But you're absolutely correct, until you're self aware enough to realise you don't need to get caught up in such trivial things, they are a waste of mental and emotional energy and detrimental to your mindset. Once you're able to reflect and realise only you are accountable for your own actions, the growth you can achieve has no ceiling.